A narcissist has the ability to distort the truth to the point where you are left with confusing unanswered questions in your mind. And any attempts to call out a narcissist on their toxic behavior are often met with an explosive reaction.
In other words, taking up an issue with a narcissist only makes things worse – because their egos cannot take criticism. Their reactions can leave you dazed, and wondering what the hell just happened. So, is a narcissist gaslighting you? Here are 14 signs that they might be.
1. Questioning their behavior infuriates them
When you confront a narcissist over something wrong they have done, they will get upset very fast. You will even avoid going any further because they react too much too quickly. Their attitude will completely change from that point.
2. You’re always wondering how it happened again
Whenever you are caught up in an argument with a narcissist, you feel like you have been through it again, and you wonder how you got there in the first place. It’s because, with a narcissist, everything will always end up badly for you.
3. You feel inadequate
A narcissist will try to make you feel like you are worthless so that they can feel better about themselves. So, if you say things that might make them feel like they are less superior, they will do all they can to make you feel inadequate.
4. They call in other people
When you are arguing with a narcissist, they will do whatever they can to defend their side and win an argument. This involves mentioning other people and even calling other people to support their side of the story.
5. Your issue was never addressed
When you bring up an issue with a narcissist hoping that they will resolve it, they will weave and twist it so that they don’t get to admit to any wrongdoing. They will dig up the past and use it against you to keep you distracted from the issue at hand.
6. You feel guilty for your thoughts
When a narcissist has done something horrible to you, they will twist the story to the point where you might even feel bad that you ever felt mad at them. They mess with you so that you think they always have the best intentions, despite doing the most despicable of things.
7. It ends in an apology
Even after doing a horrible thing to you, when you talk about the issue, you will end up being the one to apologize. They wear you down until being sorry is the only thing you can do.
8. You are always the jerk
However much you try to explain your side, the narcissist will always be the victim. They can never see how they contributed to the problem, and you will even be made to feel bad for suggesting that they might have been wrong.
9. You were sure, but are now totally confused
After a gaslighting, you will get so many doubts in your conversions that you will be confused to the point of questioning the reality of everything around you.
10. Name-calling is not above them
A narcissist will call you crazy, stupid, incompetent, and every other word that will hurt and throw you off your game. They do this to shut you up. It’s a classic gaslighting technique.
11. You feel isolated and alone
Narcissists know how to target people who are empathetic and eager to please. They can convince these people that they will be alone and isolated unless they have the narcissist in their lives.
12. The way you remember things and the way they recall them are very different
When you tell a story and a narcissist tells it, it will be like you were in two different worlds. However, their version of the story will always be in their favor in some way or another.
13. You question your insanity and think that they might be right
Narcissists are perfect at twisting things to suit them. So, whenever you confront them, they will show you a side of the story you did not see, but it will always be to their benefit. You will think that they are right, and you will feel like the crazy one. They will tell you that you are crazy, and you can start to believe it.
14. You used every ounce of strength to bring it up
You pondered over it again and again, in order to figure out the best way to bring up the issue. But now, you even regret that you did. After all the twists and turns in the story, you feel guilty for even taking up the issue with them.
Being gaslighted is a cruel and abusive thing, and narcissists will always overreact, twist the story, and do whatever they can to make you feel insecure, scared, and drained.