We love a friendship moment. Community. Nostalgia. Fun times and distractions. 

We all need that ‘I am not okay’ safe space friend. Having your mum or dad or sister on speed dial is one thing. Having your old primary school best friend across the world might not cut it anymore. But your person – some version of a platonic soul mate maybe – needs to be there to recognise and truly see you. To listen to you and actually hear what you’re saying. Who counts down the days to your birthday so that they can give you really thoughtful presents and a card that will make you cry. 

But yes, I know we promised madly to each other that we’d call every night and visit every weekend when we went to university. It was harder and harder to keep up with each other. We made new friends, got new hobbies, and found different interests.

Dare I say, we grew up.

That didn’t mean that we necessarily grew out of each other, per say, but all the things we used to do together were now a product of a past era. That’s not to say that we couldn’t have restarted things with a more realistic outlook, but that always seemed like an impossibility, a clashing of two worlds. The worlds weren’t incompatible anymore, but they just didn’t flow as effortlessly as they used to. 

It’s all about showing that you know each other and love each other, warts and all. You can grow together in the relationship and come out more well-rounded and engaging individuals. Together, you can be honest with each other in a way that no one else can. 

You have been there for them and they’ve been there for you.

Maybe you’ve known them ten minutes, maybe ten years. 

I know better than most how the phrase ‘we should stay in touch’ ages. It doesn’t age so much like a fine wine as it does disintegrate like stale cheese. An attractive picture, I’ve painted there, I’m sure. But you get my drift – friendships can sometimes fall a little by the wayside. It’s a combination of the ravages of time, the fact that we change over the years, and that we might be wanting different things out of a relationship. 

However, most of the time it’s just distance.

Pure and simple geography that thwarts us, time and time again. 

Therefore, this is a platonic love letter to my best friend of years gone by. 

How has it been so long? We used to talk everyday and see each other everyday in school, after school, walking to school… you get the picture. We were something of a pair. Maybe it was the common interests in football when it wasn’t cool to be a soccer nerd in year 7 when everyone else liked Rugby. Maybe it was the collective obsession with One Direction.

We were slightly more mainstream with that connection, lol. 

That didn’t mean that we necessarily grew out of each other, per say, but all the things we used to do together were now a product of a past era. That’s not to say that we couldn’t have restarted things with a more realistic outlook, but that always seemed like an impossibility, a clashing of two worlds. The worlds weren’t incompatible anymore, but they just didn’t flow as effortlessly as they used to. 

There are some people that are just gold dust. You could be walking around the town without your head screwed on and they’d be the first to notice and tell you ‘dude, you look lost’. They have this marvellous habit of finding you. Particularly when you didn’t even realise you were wandering. I know not all those that wander are lost – Lord of the Ring told me as much. But you need those people in your life that notice when you’re moodily staring into space in the cocktail bar. They ask you if you’re okay even when they probably know you’re not but they know you need to hear yourself say the words. ‘I am not okay’. 

We all need that ‘I am not okay’ safe space friend.

Then when you get the heart emojis in response and feel your heart grow six sizes because friendship is truly something that no one should be without. I firmly believe that you can live without a lover or partner. You can’t live without friends. Honestly, you can’t. it’s the moments when you all get tipsy before the club and they slur and ask if you know that you made them cry with the present.

As if you didn’t bottle that feeling when you saw the response and indebt it to memory thereafter.