At some point in your relationship, a minor disagreement may escalate into a major fight, regardless of your preferences. While fights can be inevitable, they can also have destructive effects on an otherwise healthy relationship if handled poorly. If you are in a serious relationship as an adult, there are certain behaviors that you should always steer clear of if you and your partner want to emerge from an argument with a stronger bond. Identifying and letting go of old patterns of argumentation is made simpler by learning to recognize them.
1. You Don't Consider This Man To Be Your Partner When You Argue
Although it can be tempting to succumb to intense anger when you strongly believe in your stance during an argument, it's crucial to attempt to keep a level head. You're not engaged in a dispute with an anonymous internet user; you're in a conflict with the person you chose to form a long-term commitment with. It's important to keep in mind that while you may feel wronged, there are often several perspectives in a disagreement, and the person you care for is on the opposite side. While relationships may occasionally veer off course, it's important to always keep sight of the path ahead.
2. You Forget The Importance Of Respect
Undoubtedly, love plays a critical role in preserving a joyful relationship, but it's imperative to remember the second crucial element: respect. If both you and your partner resort to juvenile name-calling during a disagreement, it won't improve your bond as a couple in any way. Disputes are not competitions where the objective is to outdo your significant other with cutting remarks. Although it may provide momentary satisfaction, it won't hasten the discovery of a solution.
3. You Involve Other People
As an adult, when confronted with a problem, such as a leaky faucet or a difficult task at work, your initial response is to attempt to resolve it independently. Experience has demonstrated that you are capable of finding solutions. The same principle should apply to disagreements within your relationship. Your friends and family are not privy to the intricacies of your relationship, and as a general rule, they will take your side, even if you are mistaken. Continually involving third parties in your disputes will only lead them to resent your partner and may inflict significant harm on your relationship. Prior to consulting with your friends, attempt to work things out with your partner.
4. You Forget Why The Argument Started In The First Place
Disagreements within a relationship are often more intricate than a simple beginning, middle, and end. Nonetheless, certain couples have a tendency to complicate the process by interweaving additional concerns on top of an already complicated situation. This can divert your attention from the underlying problem that initiated the disagreement in the first place. It's essential to address one issue at a time and remain focused on your ultimate objective: resolving the issue.
5. You Know There's No Real Solution
Initiating a disagreement solely to resurrect unresolved past issues is indicative of a more profound problem. It's not appropriate to utilize previous arguments as weapons unless your partner continues to make the same mistakes repeatedly. If your partner is persistently repeating past errors, it may be time to acknowledge that he may not be the right person for you. Engaging in a dispute over an issue that is unsolvable is simply a waste of time.
6. You Let Days Go By Before Discussing Your Problems
Taking a break to gather your thoughts during an argument with your partner is acceptable, but completely cutting off contact for several weeks following a disagreement is not acceptable. If you're using the silent treatment as a way of penalizing your partner, it's crucial to contemplate what you desire from your relationship.
7. You Fight In Public
Observing two mature individuals transform from exchanging passive-aggressive comments to having a complete altercation in public can be exceedingly uncomfortable. It's important to demonstrate respect for yourself and your relationship by keeping your conflicts within the privacy of your own home.
8. You Let The Booze Do The Talking
If you notice that disagreements with your partner frequently arise after a night out at a bar or after consuming a few glasses of wine, it's essential to identify the underlying cause. Recognize that it's unnecessary to rely on the uninhibited feeling that alcohol provides to express your thoughts and feelings. Dependence on alcohol to bolster your self-assurance in communicating is both physically and mentally detrimental.
9. You Think Fighting Is Normal
You may have heard the phrase, "you don't truly love someone until you've had your first argument." While it's inevitable that you'll encounter significant discussions or obstacles, resorting to combativeness shouldn't be your immediate reaction. Aim to replace insignificant quarrels with productive discussions.
10. You Have To Have The Final Word
Although having the final say in an argument may provide a temporary sense of satisfaction, it's crucial to acknowledge that this feeling is fleeting. Insisting on having the last word may cause you to say something that you don't genuinely mean, and it may hinder you from finding a genuine resolution. If prioritizing the delivery of the final blow is more satisfying to you than discovering a practical solution, then you're not engaging in mature argumentation.