You Should Forgive Yourself For Loving The Wrong People
Published in Oct 2019 / Updated in Oct 2020
It’s true. Loving the wrong person is a mistake. But although you are the one in pain, accept that it was your mistake.
Forgiveness has to come from a point of acceptance
You might feel you were not worthy, like you fell short. But that’s not it. You are more than enough for the person who deserves you. Never doubt that for a moment.
I know you have had people compare you to their past lovers. And you have suffered at the hands of people who tried to turn you into something you are not.
You gave your heart to people who did not appreciate you or the good things about you. Know that they were taking it out on you because they did not have the qualities they demanded you have.
Many people are broken, and yet too scared to admit it. And so, they try to make others feel broken so they can feel better about themselves.
So, the people who made you feel so replaceable are not worth worrying about.
Don’t for a moment set your standards based on how they ranked you in their lives.
You should be with people whose love for you is true. People who adore you and love you as you are.
Can I tell you a secret? You are not the first to make the mistake of giving your heart to someone who did not deserve it. A lot of us have done it.
But it happens. You meet someone you think deserves a permanent place in your life. But soon realize you deserve more. But then you hesitate for a moment and think maybe a little effort might be what’s lacking. And it’s downward from there.
You lower your standards without knowing it. You see the potential and do not accept the reality that is staring you in the face. And so, you hold on when you should have let go as soon as you found out the truth.
What follows are deep feelings of inadequacy. You do all the right things but in return you get all the wrong results.
You dig yourself in when you should run for your dear life.
It was time to move on, but you made a bigger commitment
You did not understand one thing: you should only be your best for the right person. Otherwise, you are inviting frustration and pain into your life when you give your all to someone who does not even deserve to be in your life in the first place.
To the person who truly deserves you, you should not be second best. When someone truly appreciates you, they will see your worth and will not make you prove yourself time and again.
You believed their words and ignored their actions. Although you gave everything you had, you got nothing in return. Not in actions at least.
People’s words may lie, but their actions rarely do
But you knew all along that something was wrong. The little voice inside you told you that something was not right.
Whenever someone you loved did something crappy to you, you heard the voice clearly. It’s because your heart knew you had put it in the wrong hands.
Your heart knows. It always knows. You just have to listen. It may flutter when you meet someone, but it can tell you whether to hold on or to let go if you are attentive enough.
But your mind told you otherwise, and you paid attention to it. It told you to keep fighting. It convinced you that there was hope. That your effort would be rewarded.
You spent sleepless nights wondering how you could make it better.
Eventually, your heart had reached past its breaking point. It shattered into pieces and closed off. That was as much as it could take.
Then you could not ignore the truth anymore. You realized you had given your love to the wrong person.
You felt so guilty, for you had committed a grave sin against yourself.
But you have to forgive yourself. Accept that you wanted the best, but ignored the signs.
Be glad you learned a valuable lesson from the experience. Be confident in that you will know fakers from those who really love you in the future.
So, this is not the end of your love story. It’s just the beginning. The foundation may have been laid in tears, suffering and pain, but your love life will be much more beautiful because you now know how to make all the right moves.