The butterflies are turning into that well known, dreadful feeling of despair. Your beloved man is pulling away, but life isn’t black and white. And neither is your relationship.

Falling in love is one of the best feelings in the world, but at the same time, it’s like giving an open invitation to someone to tear your heart apart. Sounds scary, and you’re going through that right now: he’s no longer showering you with attention. Instead, there’s a distance.

Before you spiral out of control, remember that your lives are more than your relationship.

Instead of taking drastic measures, let’s try to rationalize what makes a person pull away.

Making rash decisions can make things worse, so by trying to keep him, you might push him further. That’s why you need a cold shower and a cool head.

Let Him Be

It’s so hard when all you want to do is ring him, tell him you miss him, and yet, what’s the point of it? Instead, find a hobby, call your friends and try to give him space.

You don’t know what’s going on, and he isn’t ready to tell you. And that’s his right. Worst case scenario: he is thinking about the two. If he didn’t see the future with you in the past, one phone call wouldn’t make things any better.

Leaving him alone, giving him space does not mean you should act like a single lady. Don’t try to get his attention on social media, or by calling his friends. Let him have his “me time.” Hard, but eventually, it shows respect.

Welcoming Him Back

So, your significant other pulled back, yet he’s here now. Now, in most cases, women will either act like a sex kitten or attack him, like he’s the enemy. The solution is nowhere near the two: instead, be friendly!

Don’t ask for explanations until you feel that the fog has lifted from your relationship. You might feel like you’re walking on egg shelves. Think of him as a friend first, lover later. That might help you feel less stressed out.

The Time to Talk

Once you feel like you’re back to your usual selves, ask him. By this time, there’s a big chance he’ll start talking.

When you are asking, “Why did you pull away, what happened?”, you might not like the answer.

Regardless, if he confides in you, it’s a good sign. If you are asking and getting nowhere, maybe it’s time for you to rethink your involvement.

Relationships are friendships with romantic feelings and sex. Your partner doesn’t have to be your BFF, but if you are building a life together, you should be buddies.

It’s hard for men to talk about their troubles regarding their parents and coworkers. Simply remind him from time to time, that you can’t read his mind. However, you can be a non-judgmental, even objective listener.

If you notice that this pulling away is happening too often, there’s a chance you’re all alone in the relationship. Every partnership is based on what you give and what you take. And if you’re the only one giving up your time, emotions, eventually your heart, it’s time to move on.

The longer you stay with someone who’s always leaning away, the worse it will reflect on your self-worth and self-esteem.

If thinking about your man is making you smile, giggle, he’s a keeper. If not, you already know the answer, you just need time to accept it. Pull away from him, and move on to a better life.