You Either Want Me Or You Don’t, This "Almost" Is Torture

Have you ever wanted someone so bad that you feel like you can’t go on without them? The feeling of the person you want to be with pulling you close one second and literally shutting you out the next minute. I don’t think they know how it makes me feel. Do you even realize that you are messing with my heart and soul? Do you even realize I am not a tree and I have feelings?

What I crave is consistency in our relationship. You are either in or out, don’t stand in the doorway. I really hate this back and forth game you play. When we spend time together, everything seems fine. You seem like you are really into me. You suddenly turn into the sweetest and most caring man I have ever met. My heart breaks when you leave. When we are apart, the old saying comes to play “out of sight, out of mind”. Suddenly you never even bother to call or text, you don’t even care to check in with me.

What I know is that, if a man wants, a man pursues. Like a cheetah out in the grasslands looking for his hunt, so is a man after the heart of the woman he loves. When I see you are not bothered, I slowly disconnect. As soon as you notice I am fading away in the background, you start the chase. I totally hate that. With words so charming you lure me back, like a slave to his master I submit to you.

Today I want you to take a stand. Let me know where your heart is because I need more than “Never say never…” “Let things be…” “Enjoy the now, aren’t you happy?” The answer is “No” I am not happy with the way things are between you and me. I can’t even say “us” because there is no “us” as far as I am concerned.

That is why I want you to take a stand. I am ready to take a risk to be with you, but are you willing to do the same? I am ready to put my fears aside, but are you? I feel like I have lived through this moment before and I really don’t want to go through this again. As much as I care about you, I want you to know that I will not settle for anything less than what I deserve. I deserve a full five-course meal of love and not crumbs of affection.

I have learned my lessons from the past and I hope you will not form part of those statistics in my past. I hope you can be more than this, I hope you will decide what you want and tell me whether there is a future for us. We are both adults and too old to be playing games right now. Before I give up completely on us, I want you to take me in your arms and apologize, tell me how much you want me in your life and that you are all in this time around. I hate this “almost” love you are giving me. You either give me all or nothing. We are better than “almost.”