We change all the time, and in that process, we lose parts that others thought found irresistible. Maybe your girl doesn’t miss simply because you’re no longer your best version, a guy she adored.

We were all here before: all of a sudden, we get the strange urge to call someone, a person from our past. We want to tell them we miss them, and we even want more. But, here’s the thing: that’s not always real. Emotions have a way of tricking us into believing that this time around, your relationship will be different. It won’t.

When things fall apart

With every relationship, we remember the first kiss, that started everything. And then we remember the last one. With time, it seems like you forgot what was in between, so you get this crazy idea that things weren’t that bad. When everything is said and done, there’s nothing left to do but move on.

And just when you thought you were over that certain someone, they call you. Women tend to be the one who misses their men and react almost immediately. Guys wait, for whatever reason, but they are better at hiding what’s on their hearts. But what does it mean?

The way you were

There’s a reason why you ended things, though you are unsure at this moment. You go back in time, daydreaming, and you need your partner in crime again. But do you really? Or do you merely miss him because you want to feel the same emotion that sparked when you were together, and everything was going according to plan?

There are versions of relationships you present to yourself. And most of the time, you can say why it ended. But, sometimes, you just miss that man because of how he made you feel. You miss the intimacy, the laughter, his smell, but you don’t truly miss him as he is now.

Is missing someone enough?

Of course, maybe, just maybe, this time around, things will be different. Who knows? Perhaps you broke up because of the circumstances, not because you lacked real love and respect. But, missing someone you ended things isn’t enough. You need to re-met this person and sort of hit reset button.

You need to let go of the past disappointments and accept that you can’t force things to go back at the beginning. It may be better, but it sure as heck won’t be the same. And that’s why missing someone is dangerous. You never honestly know what you might discover.

Three words that might change your life

Sometimes, words are just that: you wanted to tell him you were thinking of him. That’s sweet. But, let’s not pretend that’s the case. You want something, but you have no idea what will happen. Because he’s no longer the person you loved. And you’re not the same. So, these three little words can change a lot.

If you break up was difficult, it won’t be easier the second time around. And don’t count that he changed his annoying habits. In rare cases, you indeed can find a happily ever after. However: doesn’t the soup tastes better right after it’s done? Does anyone like a day old soup? Think about that the next time you feel like you’re missing your ex.

In French, they say Tu me manques. And it literally means You are lacking to me. And that little language thing is compelling because it’s nothing more than a selfish, but justified need to feel certain something. And because you were with him at the time, your thoughts make you think that you’re missing a person. But, maybe you need a change in your life because it implies that you need to feel more joy or love.