You're probably inundated with advice if you're single. It may come from your well-intentioned yet irritating aunt or your best friend who has been happily paired off since before the days of Tinder. One of the things you hear is that you'll find love when you're not looking for it. People advise you to wait, saying that you'll eventually find what you're searching for. The issue is that these people are constantly in love and in long-term relationships, so what do they know about the single life that is sometimes pleasant, sometimes unpleasant, and always frustrating? The truth is, you don't stumble upon love when you least expect it, and here's why.
1. It's Called The Search For Love For A Reason
You must put in some effort, as in, you must do some work. You may be on a dating site or app, asking your friends to set you up, or finding the courage to ask someone out in person. None of this is easy. So, if you go on an online date that leads to true love, it won't be particularly unexpected because you'll have invested a certain amount of time and effort. That is why we seek a boyfriend in the same way we seek a job.
2. First Dates End In A Few Ways
It's common knowledge that first dates may not lead to a fairytale romance and finding a compatible partner takes time. After a date, there are two possible outcomes: either you never see the person again or you both agree to see each other again. If you progress to a third date, then a relationship might be in the making, but it shouldn't come as a surprise since you've been in this situation before. You have an idea of what to expect and the possibility of it working out is always there.
3. You're 100 Percent Ready
If you're seeking a committed relationship and are tired of dating around, it's natural to feel excited and unafraid when you meet someone you want to be with. You don't suddenly fall in love with someone after hating all guys. The feeling of excitement and willingness to commit comes when you meet the right person, and it just feels right.
4. Fate And Magic Are Pretty Outdated
In the past, meeting someone in person was the norm, and it could make for a unique story. Nowadays, it's not unusual to hear people say they met their significant other on a dating app like Tinder or OkCupid. Online dating has become the new standard, making it necessary to put in extra effort to find a date. Nothing is really unexpected or surprising anymore.
5. You Put Yourself Out There Time And Time Again
If you've gone through a tough break-up or have had a string of bad dates or failed relationships, but you're finally ready to date again, it's your call. No matter your circumstances, the decision is entirely yours.
6. The Unexpected Part Is Whether You Like The Person
In today's world, we have plenty of options to meet potential partners, but that doesn't mean that we'll get along with everyone we meet. When we go on a first date, we hope for sparks to fly and for the possibility of finding love. The unexpected part is when we actually like someone, not that we've met them. We expect to meet people, but we don't always expect to be compatible with them.
7. We Date Differently Now
We have the option to schedule several dates in a week if we want to, but we probably won't because it's too much effort to plan different outfits. However, it's not uncommon to go on a few first dates in a short amount of time because that's just how dating works in the modern era. When we were in high school or college, we only dated someone if they asked us out, or we happened to hit it off with them. Nowadays, we line up dates all the time, so it's not really surprising.
8. Being Swept Off Our Feet Doesn't Mean It's Going To Work Out
When I fell in love for the first time, it was completely unexpected. I was focused on starting university, and we happened to live in the same dorm. To make a long story short, things fell apart in less than a year. While it's true that love found me when I least expected it, the experience also brought heartbreak. So, I don't find the idea particularly useful.
9. We Do So Much Work Pre-First Date
Occasionally, we walk into a bar already knowing a great deal about a guy and already feeling a strong attraction towards him. Of course, things could go horribly wrong, but if they work out, it's not a big surprise. We had already pre-screened this person and appreciated their job, sense of humor, compassion, and of course, their physical appearance.
10. Wanting Something Means You Expect It
Without the belief that striving for a goal will lead to triumph, we would lack motivation and achieve nothing. This applies to our careers, personal objectives, and certainly to finding love. If you aspire to become a published author, you persist in writing and expect to be published eventually. Likewise, if you seek love, you date with the expectation of eventually finding your person and leaving the dating scene for good. So, don't hesitate to anticipate falling in love because it will surely happen.