You Are Not Responsible For Jealousy

You Are Not Responsible For Jealousy

I'm going to level with you, dealing with success is hard. We all think that we're on top of the world when things are going well for us and that's that. Well, it's not that simple.

Unfortunately, even though it's hard for us at the best of times to fully give ourselves credit for our successes, there are others who would rather that we didn't. Or they would be more comfortable if we just stayed in our allotted places in this world and did not act so ambitious.

We work so hard to relearn the narrative we're taught that we can't change the things around us.

Therefore, when we actually do, we have to enjoy that.

However, the unfortunate thing about the way the world works is that we are conditioned to view each other as competitors. As though one person's success is another's failure. As though there is a finite amount of success in the world that means that your triumph makes other people around you a failure by default.

That's not how it works. I promise that we can all be mutually successful in our own separate endeavours. The first step, however, is to acknowledge that we're no longer in direct competition with each other. Try to stop comparing yourself to other people, particularly if they aren't even aware that they're stressing you out. It will only frustrate you more.

Either way, we have a conundrum when people close to you are jealous of your success. Or openly bitter. Because that is something that you can acknowledge, but it's not your responsibility to make them feel normal or untroubled.

You stick to your guns.

Appreciate the sacrifices that you will have had to make in order to achieve your successes. Do not apologise for them or diminish them.

In this day and age, in the capitalistic world of economic ambition and insecurity, it can be difficult to remain in control of your emotions. To know why you feel things or want things. To wonder if you really want to earn money, or whether you just unconsciously want to conform to the culture of economic success. Either way, you are where you are, and you deserve to be there. The fact that your sister is insecure about your success isn't something you have to resolve. That's not your job.

It's something she has to come to terms with herself.

Indeed, if your mother resents your ability to climb up the ranks in a man's world higher than she was ever given chance to, that's a crying shame, but again, not your fault. Don't diminish your accomplishments by deflecting them or suggesting that they're not as important or hard-fought as something else just to make someone feel better about themselves.

That's just selfish on their part if they aren't willing to put aside their feelings, even if it's a façade, for the sake of your own interests. Why should their insecurity make you feel less than?

Answer: it shouldn't.

The resolution to this really is to go and visit your grandparents – the ones who mean well but don't fully understand what your social media marketing job actually is – because they can be happy for you, without compromise. You should be spoiled and showered with affection as you deserve. In the modern-day, we are told we need to be emotionally self-sufficient and able to 'go it alone'. While that's true to a degree, we also need to acknowledge our own needs.

We deserve to be pampered and receive reward and validation for our endeavours. Let's not pretend that all our pursuits are solely lead by our own desire for personal success. Sometimes, we want success just for the sake of it, sometimes we want other people to know and to be impressed by our pursuits.

No one should make you feel less than just because they themselves feel inadequate in the wake of your hard work. It doesn't mean it can't or won't happen for them, but that continues a culture of toxicity and resentment which spirals into something more corruptive and underhanded later on.

In essence: the people in your life should have your interest at heart and support you, always.

Not just when they feel superior to you or in control of the relationship.