"Cassie is married with two kids and she's just 25", "Elena is celebrating her 1st wedding anniversary", "When are you going to settle down?", "Your biological clock is ticking. You're almost 30. Do you want to wait until you are almost menopausal before getting a man hooked and having children of your own?". The list of similar questions and expressions is endless and has caused many to settle early but marry wrong.
Family members and well-meaning friends seem to have the habit of reciting the "get married" mantra in recent times. They keep urging you to get into a relationship you are not ready for or to forcefully push your new relationship to the next level which sometimes isn't where it's headed.
Life is not a race. There's no singular winner who takes the trophy. We can all be winners in our own time, space, and pace. There are no hard and fast rules for finding true love and the right man.
One person might find true love in high school or college, another after 30, or after one failed marriage.
You are not competing with anybody. If you force things to happen, there are always losses to bear.
Never settle for just anyone or for a narcissistic or toxic person because you want to meet up with an invisible timeline for marriage. Don't ever allow what others believe to be the timetable to put you under so much pressure that you end up choosing the wrong man.
The early bird doesn't always catch the good worm. It's possible that Cassie's husband is a cheat and Elena's husband, a wife-beater. Who tells us that side of the story? Those urging you likely don't tell the full story, they sometimes don't even know the full story.
Settling for less than you deserve is settling for a life deprived of joy.
Shake off the fear of ending up alone. Instead, be terrified of ending up with the wrong man on the long road of commitment.
Actually, it's better to be alone than to marry wrong. Miserable will be the least capable word to describe your plight.
When you settle for the wrong man
You have signed a contract of indefinite losses.
You won't be happy. He won't be happy. You'll be dissatisfied. Even if he offers everything you need materially, the void of your emotional and physical needs will never be filled. He won't understand you, because he isn't right for you and even his best will not be good enough.
You can't enjoy the moment because you're constantly living in hope of a better future, the hope of being loved the way you want. You keep waiting for something that might never happen.
The wrong man isn't passionate about you. He isn't emotionally invested so you can't build a home with him. He might be physically and emotionally abusive which is one of the worst things a woman can ever experience.
Realistically, there is no perfect man anywhere. But, settling for someone you love despite his imperfections is a real blessing.
Do not allow society's expectations or your own fears to pressure you into settling for someone cut out for somebody else.
You only live once. Don't waste it by settling for something less than true love.
Be patient, take your time, and choose wisely. Choose to be brave enough to wait for someone who reciprocates your love; someone who loves you unconditionally; someone who makes you feel safe, who takes care of you, and respects you.
Wait patiently because the decision to marry could bring laughter or sorrow for you and for him.
Men also have feelings. When you decide to just go ahead and marry without really loving him, you are also setting him up for unnecessary heartache.
Base your decision to marry on what's most important, not on some flimsy reason. Wait for a man who will live the truth beside you. Patience and the right attitude are essential. Settling down a bit later with the right person will be one of the best decisions you've ever made.