Published in Sep 2019 / Updated in Oct 2021
Love is hard. Like, really hard. It isn't like all the Disney movies where it just kind of falls into your lap and is perfect. It takes a lot of work. You can't just give and give or, take and take. It is a meet-me-in-the-middle type of work.
From my own personal experience, I know this is true. I am a wife and a mother. My husband works his booty off. In our early days, we were both pretty selfish. OK, a lot selfish. Over the years though, you figure each other out. Likes, dislikes, what makes each other tick.
You have to be willing to work together, be each other's best friend, and meet halfway.
Put in the effort. Couples both have an equal part in marriage or even serious relationships. I have seen so many fail because they don't balance each other, or just don't care to try.
Something that I have learned is that you both need to have and maintain boundaries. Tell each other your bottom lines. Please do not just assume that your partner "knows" what you need. Vocalize it. How can you help each other grow and bloom in your relationship if you don't make it known?
Even the little things like, "Can you take the trash out?" can make a difference. How? Because you made it known that you really would love it if they helped you out with the garbage. It's simple, but honestly, if I didn't make it known I needed help I would still be waiting. I would probably even get pretty mad about it.
I mentioned balancing earlier and I think this is so important. I am a more cautious, over-thinker, meanwhile, my husband is the type that doesn't think and just does. I LOVE it. We are complete opposites, and we all know opposites attract right?
He keeps me on my toes.
He pushes me to do more things that are a little out of my comfort zone. Knowing my boundaries helps him to know and understand things that are completely out of the question. Life is so much more exciting because of him.
On the other hand, since I am more cautious I help him to slow down a bit and think about whatever we are about to do. I get him to think about the serious side effects of things and the possible outcomes. In my opinion, I think that is a great example of meeting in the middle.
Over the last 10 1/2 years, we have blossomed into a wonderful marriage and still enjoy being around each other. We know when to step in for each other, and when to back off. We voice our concerns in a loving way. We care about each other's happiness. We not only parent together, but we really do life together. It is really a beautiful thing.
Love is hard, but man is it worth it. I encourage you to both take a look at your wants, needs, desires and discuss them together. Make sure you both are on the same page. I promise your love will grow deeper and wider.