You don’t have to believe it, but there’s a perfectly satisfying explanation of why your biggest mistake will open your heart to the love of your life.

Some people are luckier than the rest of us. They meet their soulmates while they are teens; they grow up and grow old together. But, those couples are so rare, they are kind of like mythical creatures. The rest of us have to deal with heartache and many, many mistakes.

Neutrally evil wrong choices

When a relationship ends, you either fall apart, feel liberated or a bit sad. Those okayish breakups aren’t hard, and those relationships weren’t meaningful. Translation: you didn’t learn much about yourself or love.

Not all neutral relationships are wrong. They can be amusing, fun, but they are sort of like finding mister right now. That’s fine, but useless.

Seriously wrong choices

A fair share of wrong decisions is what happens to most of us in our 20s. We’re bar hopping, and jumping from one disaster into a bigger one. It’s lust, passion, but it’s not real love. Though it can hurt just as bad.

It’s a time where you’re finding yourself. And that path leads to many revelations, some good, some bad, but at least it wasn’t all waste of time.

The one before the one

The moment you think you have your life together, the real, ultimate wrong person comes into your world. They are harmful, wrong, poisonous, and you know you have to be with them.

They are consuming you, draining you, yet you feel fantastic until you don’t. It’s the biggest test of your love life: will you finally grow up and learn what you need? Will you be able to accept that you are better on your own than with someone so tense, even toxic?

Once you’re done with this incredibly wrong person, you no longer want a relationship. You feel messed up while accepting that staying single is okay.

The end

Life’s one irony after another. You are single, not ready to date, not even thinking about it. Your life is great, and you’re enjoying it.

When you finally realize how good you have it, boom! Someone walks into your life, and you have no idea what to do.

Forget that famous: “from the moment I saw you…” That’s an illusion. Most of the time, the right person comes when you don’t need them. And that’s what makes them so ideal for you: you’re not looking, you know how to be yourself, and you know what kind of love you deserve.

The love of your life might not be the obvious choice. It can be someone from your past or someone you thought was merely a friend. but in love, timing is everything, and finding the one goes hand in hand with finding yourself.

Every relationship before meeting your soulmate was preparing you to end the life you had and start the new one. Lessons are sometimes almost unbearable, and you felt so much pain, you may even think that your heart can’t stand another breakup. But it’s all part of a test, a masterplan.

That one particular person will open your heart because love doesn’t hurt. It’s easy, effortless, and there’s no use fighting it. It’s like your opening your eyes for the first time. And all you have to do is enjoy the ride. You did your part. Well, sort of, since you’re entering a new life and a new role! Someone who’s living with a person of their dreams, in an adult, mature and loving relationship!