Why Some Guys Suck At Communicating In Relationships, According To A Guy

If you have enough dating experiences, you may begin to observe a recurring trend: many men struggle with effective communication in romantic relationships. It's important to note that this behavior is usually unintentional. While the reasons may not be to your liking, here are a few explanations for this pattern.

1. We're Not Great Listeners

Effective communication requires the ability to actively listen, comprehend, and internalize the other person's message. While some individuals excel in this skill, many men tend to fall short. Selfishness likely tops the list of reasons for this deficiency, which explains why we struggle with communication.

2. We Don't Listen Just To Listen

Even if a man is attentive to what you're saying, he may not necessarily know the best way to react. Many women simply want a man to listen to them, to feel acknowledged and understood. While I can sympathize with this desire, most men are not taught to simply listen without offering a solution. Our natural inclination is to protect and assist those we care about. So, when you express a problem, we may automatically search for a solution, without realizing that you simply need to be heard.

3. We Don't Understand Nuance

Although most men prefer direct communication, relationships can often be complicated by women who don't express themselves clearly. This can be challenging for men who struggle to interpret subtle cues. As a result, communication breakdowns often occur, with men typically receiving the blame. My suggestion to women is to communicate their thoughts and feelings more explicitly, rather than hoping that men will catch on to subtle hints.

4. We Speak With A Purpose

One more contrast between men and women is that the majority of men don't enjoy chatting for the sake of it. We tend to believe that if something isn't of great significance, it's not worth discussing. However, this mindset may not be practical in relationships, where partners are expected to share almost everything with each other. When men are unable to adapt to this expectation in a relationship, it can lead to communication breakdowns.

5. We Don't Like Difficult Questions

I understand that some women may not appreciate this, but men often struggle to respond appropriately when faced with tricky questions from their partners. Questions like "does this make me look fat?" or "do you think I'm getting old?" can be difficult to answer as there may not be a right or wrong response. Men may feel unsure of what to say, leading to further communication challenges.

6. We Prefer Alone Time

In general, when men are having a difficult day or experiencing a challenging phase, we tend to prefer being alone. We don't necessarily feel the need to discuss our problems; we simply want to be left in solitude. In a relationship, it takes a certain level of trust before a man feels comfortable enough to open up. Even then, he may still need some alone time to process his thoughts and emotions before sharing them with his partner. However, this approach may not be conducive to a committed relationship, which may create the impression that men are poor communicators.

7. We Don't Like Texting As Much As Women

I don't mean to offend, but women should not place too much importance on men's texting behaviors. While men may enjoy texting, they may not feel the need to do it as frequently as women do, nor do they feel compelled to respond immediately. A man's delayed response to a text may be due to laziness, rather than an intentional attempt to ignore the message. This difference in texting preferences can create communication issues in relationships.

8. We Don't Like Being Forced To Talk

At times, men may feel compelled to speak more than we're comfortable with. We understand that our partners want us to open up, so we feel pressured to share things. This pressure can cause us to try too hard, making everything we say come across as forced and insincere. However, if we resist opening up and don't say much, it may create the impression that we're poor at expressing our emotions. In either scenario, there's a significant likelihood of causing unnecessary drama.