I won’t bore you with “the earth is overpopulated.” Instead, let’s try to think why not having kids is something YOU should really think about and be proactive about it.
Having a child is a blessing for many, but you don’t have to be among them. It’s not a requirement, nor should you feel some weird voids. Apart from the whole “that’s your duty,” there’s more to life than popping kids.
Before you start questioning your existence based on what others think you should do, it’s good to do some soul searching. See what’s inside and how will that affect what’s going on in the outside world.
That outside world implies reasons people overlook, such as the cost of raising a kid, fertility rates, regrets not having kids, and regrets having them, as well as a simple fact that you might be happy with your nieces and nephews—nothing more, and nothing less.
Start with simple Q and A
1.Is it okay to not want kids?
Yes, it’s your life, and you have only one. You won’t be able to live it with zero regrets, but you should do what you think is right for you.
2. Why do people not want kids?
Who cares? It’s individual, and you don’t have to be a parent to be part of this society.
3. Do people regret having kids?
Well, regret’s part of life. So, yes, you might regret it either way.
4. What to think about before having a child?
Everything! Bringing a child into this world is combining parental happiness with proper child-raising.
And here’s the thing: you can’t return a baby, nor you have any idea what to expect.
(S)He who Regrets not having kids
You shouldn’t worry because a decision to become a mother is a lose-lose for every woman. Everything about it is permanent to make matters worse.
Will you regret not having kids? Yes. Do people with kids regret not waiting or having kids? Yes.
You’re choosing between two entirely different lifestyles. Your partner may be the most incredible guy globally, but it all comes down to mothers eventually.
That’s not a big responsibility. That’s freaking torture, chronic pain in the butt. And life satisfaction comes from within, so you’re not choosing to be one of the childless women. Instead, you’ll be childfree.
You shouldn’t even get a pet together, let alone try to spice up your lives by reproduction.
Sadly, a lot of people do just that: replace their issues with a baby. That’s not a way to build a family life.
Your freedom matters
Having a child, especially until they are old enough to slap the door and ignore you, is a dramatic, overwhelming change.
You won’t be free to do things that make you unique, happy, or at peace. Between work and raising a toddler, you can kiss goodbye any hobbies, passions, even friendships, and what about traveling?
Fertility rates are dropping
Here’s something that we should discuss more openly, as a society. Getting and maintaining pregnancy is not easy. In case you’re among women who’re struggling, do you have to torture yourself?
You can go to your doctor, spend millions of dollars, and wreck your mental health. Or, you can accept that there’s life beyond raising children.
Raising kids lasts forever
It’s nine months of pregnancy, followed by decades of terror. Raising children does not end when they turn 18, and according to science, our brains aren’t fully developed until we’re in our mid 20.
Parenting never stops, not once your child is 18, not ever. It’s a constant mixture of pride and pain, anxiety, guilt, and parental happiness.
Having a kid is no picnic, with or without getting married. And if you don’t have a partner, then you’ll be a single mother, which comes with an extra package of parenting issues.
Yet, getting married just for the sake of a child is unfair and not that clever!
The cost of raising a kid is astronomical
We were taught to go after what we want. Instead, go after what you need. Be honest: can you afford a child?
People tend to overlook the simple fact that the cost of raising a kid is more than diapers and toys. They need education, and in this crazy world, it starts with a kindergarten. And did someone say medical care?
As they grow up, kids get more and more expensive, and no, it’s not the way it was. Take one look at the world economy, and you do the math. Having a child in today’s climate is crazy, but then again, so is everything else.
What’s the actual price of having a child: over 300.000 USD, and that’s before they turn 18. With education, we’re talking millions of dollars.
It’s okay to love your job
If a man’s career comes first, he gets to live the glorified life of a bachelor. But, if you’re a woman, you’re not allowed to be in love with your work.
Some jobs simply don’t allow us to take time off. Scientists, classical musicians, women in sport can’t just say “it’s raising children time.”
When you put all your livelihood into your work, which is your passion, not just a way to make money, why give it up?
Never apologize for being someone who’s driven by success. Instead of mom guilt, you can choose to become better at what you do. And that’s plenty enough.
Childfree women have better sex
Is it selfish? Maybe, but sex is healthy and fun, and even science says that childless people are better at it.
Not only that, but not having kids implies you’re choosing personal happiness over society’s norms.
Fast forward 18 years, and you still will be the one making choices regarding your enjoyment. You’ll avoid the pain of empty nesters, and that’s not something we should take lightly.
You still have nieces and nephews
By deciding not to have kids, some assume you’re some monster, a person with no feelings. Yikes!