Why Is My Ex-Boyfriend Buying Me Gifts? (How To Decipher His Motives)

After a breakup, the last thing you need is for your ex-boyfriend to exhibit confusing behavior. You have enough to deal with, such as trying to heal from the breakup's emotional impact.

As you begin to heal and feel better, you may even consider exploring the dating scene once again. Your goal is to get your life back on track, and you're willing to do whatever it takes to achieve that.

This is why it can be incredibly frustrating when your ex-boyfriend suddenly reappears in your life. There are many ways he could re-enter, but one of the most unexpected is by showering you with gifts.

What should you do when faced with gifts from your ex-boyfriend? Is it appropriate to accept or decline them?

In this article, we will present all of your options, allowing you to make an informed decision on how to proceed.


Your ex isn't over you

The most straightforward and probable explanation is that your ex still has feelings for you. One of the most effective ways to win someone's favor is by giving gifts.

The gifts he's giving you could be his plan to charm you and regain your affection. This might not be a negative thing if you're considering the possibility of rekindling your relationship.

However, this can become a concern when you're trying to move forward and the gifts from your ex keep appearing, disrupting your efforts.

Interpreting a man's thoughts and emotions can be challenging, especially when love is involved. Thankfully, there are resources available to assist you.

One such resource we recommend is the Devotion System created by relationship expert Amy North. It utilizes an understanding of male psychology to guide women in their interactions with men.

The Devotion System is a valuable source of information when you're unsure of the next step, whether it's to rekindle a relationship with an ex or to captivate the attention of a new interest.

He's trying to remain friends

Gift-giving is a frequent occurrence between friends, whether it be for a special occasion like a birthday or anniversary, a celebration, or simply as a way to bring joy.

Regardless of the motive, many good friends around the world enjoy exchanging gifts. If your ex-boyfriend is attempting to maintain a friendship with you, he may be offering gifts for that purpose.

The challenge in this situation is that he is not simply your friend, as there are still lingering emotions and history between the two of you, even if you both agreed to remain friends after the breakup. This means that each gift may carry underlying, unspoken expectations.

The gifts could be a manipulation tactic

Although it's not a pleasant thought, it's possible that your ex is using gifts as a means of manipulating you. As previously mentioned, gifts are an effective tool in influencing someone's thoughts and emotions.

This tactic could stem from a number of ulterior motives, such as trying to persuade you to reunite, or attempting to hold a presence in your thoughts to prevent you from moving forward.

Regardless of the reason, if his objective is to gain an advantage for himself, rather than simply being kind, he is using manipulation tactics.


First, examine the circumstances surrounding the gift and what type of gift it is

Before making a decision regarding the gifts, take some time to assess the situation objectively. Step back and observe the nature of the gift and the circumstances surrounding its delivery from him.

Did he give you the gift on a significant occasion such as your birthday, or did he surprise you with it on an ordinary day? These factors can provide insight into his motivations and intentions.

Also, consider the actual nature of the gift. Sending a friend a humorous gift or something they'll appreciate, like a book or accessory, is common in friendly relationships.

On the other hand, gifts that are deeply personal in nature, such as those referencing anniversaries, jewelry, or lingerie, suggest he might still have feelings for you. These types of gifts indicate deeper motives.

Talk to him about the gifting

The best way to understand the situation is to have an open and honest conversation with him. Ask him directly about the gifts and why he's giving them to you. This way, you can get a clear idea of what's behind his actions and move forward with a better understanding of the situation.

You can ask him in a non-threatening way, simply by saying, "Thank you for the gift. Is there a special reason you got it for me?" This approach allows you to start a conversation and get clarification on his intentions behind the gift-giving.

His answer will give you insight into his intentions and guide your next steps.

Let him know if the gifting is making you uncomfortable

If you're seeking to move on from your past relationship with your ex, accepting gifts from him may not be the best way to do so. In this situation, it's important to be straightforward and communicate your feelings with him.

You can kindly express that while you are grateful for his gestures, you are still trying to move on and the gifts might be hindering that process. It is important to communicate clearly and respectfully.

This should indicate to him that you are not ready for gifts and hopefully prevent any future gift giving.

Politely accept the presents, then move on

If the gifts are fine and given for an appropriate reason, simply express gratitude and move on. No need to over-thank or excessively gush.

Having excessive gratitude towards the gifts may come across as overly eager or desperate. A simple, polite thank you is all that's needed and preserves your composure, especially if you still hold hopes of rekindling the relationship.

Having dignity and being respectful are crucial elements of maintaining a healthy friendship, even if you don't have romantic feelings for him anymore. It demonstrates that you are mature and capable of handling the gifts appropriately.

Return the gifts as politely as possible

Do the gifts make you feel uneasy, as if there are hidden expectations or motives behind them? Are you sensing that your ex is using them to control you in some way?

If that's the case, returning the gifts may be the best course of action for you. Though it may seem impolite, it's okay to return gifts that make you feel uneasy or like there are hidden motives behind them. Your comfort and well-being should come first.

It's important to be polite and composed when returning the gift, so that the situation remains cordial. Explain to your ex-boyfriend that you appreciate the thought, but you don't feel comfortable keeping the present. He can then choose to seek a refund or re-gift it, without any hard feelings.

You can simply inform your ex that you don't feel comfortable accepting a gift from him right now, and apologize briefly. There's no need to provide any further explanation.