Why Is My Ex-Boyfriend Always On My Mind? (And What To Do About It)

The last thing you want after a breakup is to add more complications to your already complicated life. You likely just want to give your heart some time to heal and recuperate.

This can seem incredibly challenging, especially when thoughts of your ex-boyfriend seem to haunt you constantly. Every time you try to relax and close your eyes, you find yourself envisioning his face. Reminders of him seem to be everywhere, from the restaurant he loved to visit, to a song playing on the radio that he enjoyed.

As the days pass, you may find yourself wondering, why does my former partner persist in occupying my thoughts?

As the passage of time continues, you may start to question why your former significant other remains constantly present in your thoughts.


You still have feelings for him

Admitting it can be painful, especially when you're making a concerted effort to move forward. However, there is a distinct chance that you still harbor feelings for your ex-partner.

It's important to recall that you were deeply invested in the relationship, with feelings strong enough to warrant dating. Such emotions don't simply vanish into thin air after the conclusion of the relationship.

When you initially experience feelings for someone, they can become a dominant force in your thoughts. This phenomenon can also occur when you're coping with these feelings post-relationship, which is a normal aspect of the recovery process.

The breakup/relationship was traumatic, and you're trying to recover

Getting over a particularly traumatic and painful experience cannot occur overnight. Although all breakups can be hurtful, some can cause more pain than others.

If the split with your former partner was especially traumatic, it's understandable that they would persist in your thoughts. This can be the case if there was a heated argument or if the relationship ended due to challenging circumstances such as infidelity.

It's completely normal for your mind and heart to still be processing the events that took place.

There's something you miss about him or the relationship

It's possible to miss aspects of your ex or your relationship even if you don't still have romantic feelings for them. For instance, you might miss having weekly date nights or appreciate their willingness to participate in your interests and hobbies with you.

It's a common notion that relationships have their ups and downs. It's acceptable to acknowledge the positive moments and reflect on what worked well for you, as this can serve as a learning experience for future relationships.

If you find yourself frequently thinking about a specific aspect of him or your relationship, it's likely a result of recalling something that brought you joy or happiness.

Something in your life currently is reminding you of him

This phenomenon is distinct from having feelings for your ex or missing a portion of your relationship. It occurs when something unconnected to the relationship triggers memories of your former partner.

For example, if his favorite musical group suddenly gains widespread popularity, you might find yourself constantly hearing about them and thinking of him. Or, if his beloved football team advances to the Super Bowl, you might remember how he would become so enthusiastic each time they won a match.

It could be a variety of things, but they all share one common trait: you have no power over them and unless you completely isolate yourself, you cannot escape them.

You're subconsciously (or even consciously) comparing your new boyfriend to your ex

If you're in a new relationship, you might find yourself drawing comparisons and contrasts between your current partner and your ex. They could have similar musical interests or fashion styles.

Regardless of what it may be, you begin to notice similarities and differences between your ex and current partner. You may find yourself unconsciously comparing them, even though you understand that this may not be a justifiable act.

This could become even more challenging if your new partner and ex share similar traits. Habits or actions of your current partner could continuously evoke memories of your past relationship.

Starting anew in a new relationship can be challenging. Building relationships from scratch can be difficult, but there are resources available that can make the process easier.

One resource that we highly recommend is the Text Chemistry program. It can assist women in comprehending how to communicate effectively with men through simple text messages.

Your ex keeps showing up in your daily life on purpose

It's possible that the constant reminders of your ex have less to do with you and more to do with him. While you may be fully committed to moving on, your ex may keep appearing in your life, not just in your thoughts.

It's understandable that you may think of your ex if he continues to communicate with you, tag you in social media posts, or make plans to see you. He may even be frequently posting on social media, making it unavoidable for you to see him each time you go through your feeds.

He might be trying to maintain a friendship with you. However, it's also possible that he's intentionally doing so with the aim of regaining your affection or hindering your efforts to move on.


Take some time away from him

It may be necessary to limit or temporarily halt communication with your ex if you find yourself constantly thinking about him and struggling to move on. This does not necessarily mean ending the relationship permanently, but taking a break from each other may help give you the space and time needed to process your emotions and start healing.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" may be a cliché, but there's a reason why it's so commonly used. Taking a break from each other can help both of you in the healing process.

Taking a break from each other, known as a no-contact period, can be beneficial even if there is no plan to rekindle the relationship. It provides both individuals with the necessary space to concentrate on their healing process.

If necessary, take a vacation from social media

Executing the decision to take a break from your ex and following through with it can be challenging. More often than not, it's simpler to consider taking an action than to actually implement it.

Even if you have implemented a no-contact period, reminders of your ex can still pop up in your life through social media. Seeing his face on your feed every time you open an app can make it difficult for you to move on and heal from the breakup.

This can create distance and give you the space you need to process your feelings and move on. You can always follow him again in the future if you feel ready, but for now, it's important to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being.

If the idea of seeing your ex's updates or posts on social media is causing you distress, consider taking a break from the platform altogether. Deactivating your account, if possible, could provide you with the necessary space you need to heal without permanently losing access to your account.

Focus on yourself and improvement

While taking a break from your ex, concentrate on yourself and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.

It's suggested that you invest quality time with your cherished ones. Surround yourself with those, be it your dearest friends or family members, who bring joy and positivity to your life.

The present moment is ideal for pursuing the hobbies that you have always been passionate about. If you have always dreamt of mastering the art of baking a specific cake, why not give it a shot now?

It can be anything that you desire. Enroll in a language course of your choice, pick up that book that has been sitting idly on your bedside table, or begin practicing yoga.

Pursue what brings you the most happiness. You may discover that engaging in these activities occupies your mind, taking your focus away from your former partner.

Don't try too hard not to think of him

We understand if this seems confusing. We've been emphasizing ways to avoid thinking about your former partner, yet now we're encouraging you to do so.

However, this becomes clearer upon further contemplation. For instance, consider the situation when you are unable to touch your face, like while washing dishes, letting your nails dry, or wearing gloves.

Do you observe what occurs in such instances? Suddenly, you experience an intense urge to scratch your face, even though it's not possible.

It's similar to what happens when we suppress thoughts. By trying to forcibly suppress the thoughts of your former partner, you are actually triggering them to resurface in other ways, such as in your dreams.

It's more beneficial to acknowledge and confront these thoughts and emotions, rather than denying their presence. This doesn't involve disclosing them to your former partner, rather, it means accepting that they still exist within you. Allow yourself the time and space to work through and eventually release these feelings.

With time, the thoughts and memories of your former partner will diminish as well.


It's common to ponder the possibility of reconciliation with your ex-boyfriend when he continues to linger in your thoughts, especially if you realize that your feelings for him have not completely faded.

The question of whether you should rekindle your relationship with him is not a straightforward one with a simple yes or no answer. Some may give you a prompt "no", but the reality is that it's more of a nuanced and complex issue.

The most effective approach is to consider the following: Does your relationship with him bring happiness to both of you? Is there potential for growth and development in a positive and healthy manner in your relationship?

If you can truthfully answer positively to these questions, then considering a reconciliation may not be a negative idea. However, it's important to avoid falling into the trap of feeling that you absolutely require him, as this is a harmful mindset. Remember, you can survive and thrive without him and ultimately, you do not need him to complete you.

What you truly require is happiness. If your former partner can bring joy and contentment to your life in a positive and wholesome manner, then that is wonderful. However, it's important to keep in mind that he is not the only source of happiness and there are many other ways to attain it.