You may find yourself drawn to emotionally unavailable men, even though they don't offer much in return. While you know that you deserve someone who can communicate and be vulnerable with you, you can't seem to break the cycle. In order to move forward, it's important to understand why this happens. Before we do that, let's first identify the characteristics of emotionally unavailable men and the warning signs you should be aware of.
Signs A Guy Is Emotionally Unavailable
1. You can never have a deep conversation
When it comes to serious conversations, your partner falls short and may even avoid them altogether. While things might seem good on the surface, when it's time for more substantial communication, he may try to deflect or distance himself until the issue dissipates.
2. He ghosts you
If a guy is genuinely interested in you, he will maintain regular communication. It's not typical for someone to go MIA for a couple of days without explanation, nor is it normal for them to consistently make plans and then cancel them.
3. You don't know where you stand in the relationship
Defining the relationship is a significant milestone that removes ambiguity and ensures mutual understanding. When a relationship is undefined, it can give the impression that one person isn't interested in commitment or doesn't value the relationship.
4. The communication is poor
If you find it difficult to gauge your partner's emotions or determine whether he's happy, sad, satisfied, or dissatisfied, it's a sign that communication is lacking in the relationship. A man who struggles to express his emotions is typically deemed emotionally unavailable.
Why You Can't Ignore Him
Why does the cycle of telling him off today and then getting back together next week persist?
1. You love the chase
Is it possible that you're drawn to the challenge of pursuing someone who's hard to get? Or do you enjoy the excitement of dating and the pursuit of what seems unattainable? Have you ever considered that you might be attracted to this type of guy because you're not ready to commit to a relationship yourself?
2. You think you can fix him
It's possible that some women stay in unhealthy and toxic relationships because of their maternal instinct and desire to fix things. They believe they can change their partner and that their effort and sacrifice will eventually be rewarded when he realizes how much he loves and values them. However, the reality is that you can't force someone to change who doesn't want to, and you risk wasting years of your life with the wrong person.
3. He still has access to you
Emotional unavailability doesn't necessarily indicate that the guy doesn't like you. It just means that he lacks the emotional maturity to express his feelings, whether they are positive or negative. If he enjoys your company, he'll probably continue pursuing you as long as he has access to you. Even if you decline his calls and messages, the fact that he isn't blocked may motivate him to keep pursuing you, and you may end up giving in once again.
4. You're in the loop of wishful thinking
There's a lot to love about this guy: he's attractive, financially stable, and has everything going for him. However, there's one thing that's getting in the way, yet you can't seem to ignore him. Maybe you hold onto the hope that things will eventually change.
How To Overcome This Feeling
We've established that ignoring him is not easy. Therefore, here are some things you can do to strengthen your defenses and hopefully move on from this guy.
1. Weigh the pros and cons
We're not suggesting that you throw away everything you have with this guy. We don't know what you've built or what compromises have been made in your situation. Therefore, carefully weigh the pros and cons. Consider all the things you love about him, but also take a close look at the negative aspects, including how your relationship might fare in the future given his emotional unavailability.
2. Block and delete him from everything
If you've come to the decision that the relationship is not viable, it's best to block and delete that person from all your communication channels. This way, they won't have the same level of access to you as they did before. It's important to avoid allowing them to manipulate you or lure you back in.
3. Face the reality
It's important to acknowledge that sometimes things don't work out, and that's okay. Take this opportunity to concentrate on yourself and work on personal growth for the next phase of your life. While waiting for the right romantic opportunity, prioritize self-care and self-love.