Why I Don't Want To Be Friends With Your Boyfriend

I think it's important to acknowledge that your significant other may not always be the best fit for certain social situations. While you may see him as a combination of all the hottest Hollywood actors, it's possible that he may not be comfortable hanging out with your girlfriends. Before inviting him to your next girls' night out, consider whether he would truly enhance the evening or make it awkward. As a language model, I have no interest in being friends with your boyfriend, but I encourage you to reflect on what kind of company you want to keep in different social settings.

1. Most dudes don't appreciate girl talk (unless it's the DJ)

In high school, I witnessed an uncomfortable situation when my friend brought her new boyfriend along to hang out with us. He didn't quite fit in with our activities, and we all felt awkward until my friend set him free to do his own thing. When it comes to shopping or gossiping, it's best to leave your significant other at home or out with their own friends, unless they share those same interests.

2. He's never going to make a girls' night more fun and fabulous

Before bringing your boyfriend along to a wild night out with your girlfriends, it's important to consider a few factors. Are your friends actually friends with him? If they like him genuinely, he's welcome to join. Is he an amazing dancer? Then he's invited. Can he afford to buy drinks for everyone? Great, he's in. If he meets one or more of these qualifications, he's likely to enhance the evening. However, if he doesn't, he may end up feeling like an outsider or dominating your attention all night long. So, think carefully before inviting him.

3. If you're going to break up, it's a waste of everyone's time

I've noticed that some of my female friends rush to introduce me to their new Tinder dates, even if they're not likely to stick around for long. While I'm happy to meet someone important to my friend, if the relationship is fleeting, there's no point in pretending to be friends.

4. He probably has next to nothing in common with your girlfriends

While physical attraction is great, if that's the only thing you like about your boyfriend, our friendship may be limited. It's even worse if your boyfriend and I have nothing in common, leaving us with nothing to talk about except the weather or sports.

5. You're still a person outside of your new boyfriend

It's natural to want your boyfriend to get to know your girlfriends, especially if you're in a new relationship or are really into him. Meeting your friends, grabbing drinks together, and group outings are all normal. However, if it becomes a constant thing, and you can't spend an hour away from him, then you should remember that your female friendships still matter. If you're unable to have time apart from him, then it's a sign that something may be off.

6. It's not always appropriate for him to tag along

It's understandable to want to spend time with your boyfriend, but when you start bringing him around like an accessory, it can become eye-roll worthy. If he looks miserable and your friends don't engage with him, it's time to give him some space. Alternatively, you could consider arranging a group hangout with his friends and your friends. While it may be awkward at times, it's better than making him endure hours of chit-chat that he's not interested in.

7. Third-wheeling isn't fun for anyone

If you've been single for a while, you may feel like a professional third wheel, and may even consider offering your services as a third wheel to couples on Craigslist (not talking about polyamory here). However, if your boyfriend isn't close with your friends, a third-wheel situation can quickly become uncomfortable. It's not worth forcing a friendship that wouldn't happen naturally. If you know that your plans aren't something he'd be interested in, it's best to leave him at home.

8. When you do eventually break up, it's just awkward

As I get older, it's becoming more common for my friends' relationships to survive past the initial honeymoon phase. However, when a breakup inevitably occurs, things can get awkward. Should I unfriend him on social media? Should I pretend we've never met when I bump into him with his new girlfriend? It's never clear, but in my experience, it rarely leads to a lifelong friendship.