Why Empaths Attract Sociopaths And How To Break The Cycle

Why Empaths Attract Sociopaths And How To Break The Cycle

Empaths attract sociopaths like a magnet. At first, they don't seem toxic, but later turn out to be nasty narcissists.

How does this come about and why is this particularly true for very empathetic people? That's what we are about to find out.

Characteristics Of An Empath

Why Empaths Attract Sociopaths And How To Break The Cycle

Empaths possess a ton of good qualities, which is why they attract sociopaths. They are kind, compassionate, affectionate, and amazing people. With their unique personality and their sweet, compassionate and intuitive nature, it seems as if they were sent by the universe to help and save other people. This is why empaths attract sociopaths.

These people have the gift of sensing other people's emotions and energy. They intuitively recognize the state of mind, tastes, and desires of the people they are around. That's why they understand everyone.

Empaths also enjoy helping other people. When they see someone struggling with a problem, they cannot resist helping that person. It is, therefore, not surprising that they are called "the healers of society". Empathic people develop a special and meaningful connection to other people. They connect with others on a deep emotional, mental and spiritual level.

These sensitive, compassionate and caring people cannot bear to see other people suffer, and therefore they would never allow themselves to be the cause of anyone's sadness, pain, or suffering. Empaths attract sociopaths with their willingness to open up and be there for others.

Another quality that makes empaths unique is that they are honest, trustworthy, and principled. They take responsibility for their own actions and they are not ashamed or afraid to admit when they made a mistake and apologize when they unintentionally hurt someone's feelings.

Furthermore, empaths try to see only the good in people and tend to think that other people are decent, honest, selfless, and genuinely good. Of course, they are often wrong and pay the price for it. That is what makes them magnets for manipulative, inconsiderate, and negative people, which is why empaths attract sociopaths so much.

Characteristics Of A Sociopath

Why Empaths Attract Sociopaths And How To Break The Cycle

Sociopathic people use the kindness and compassion of empaths as a means to satisfy their own selfish needs. As much as it is wrong to use someone else for selfish purposes, the other person is also usually to blame if they let someone take advantage of them.

Some empaths fail to understand that not everyone is as honest and as caring as they are. They don't realize that not everyone is capable of taking responsibility for their actions. They fail to understand that sociopaths are driven by a desire for power and attention.

Some people put their opinions, needs, priorities, and desires above everyone else's. Sociopathic people are not ashamed to put their own needs above everyone else's.

They also never apologize for their mistakes and misdeeds because they don't think they ever do anything wrong. They are willing to do anything to get their own needs met, even if it means hurting others and destroying someone's life.

Sociopaths like to take advantage of kind people, which is why empaths attract sociopaths.

The personality profiles of empaths and sociopaths complement each other, but that is not a good thing. This is especially true in cases where the more empathetic partner (usually the woman in the relationship) has a pronounced need for harmony.

Why Do Empaths Attract Sociopaths So Strongly?

Why Empaths Attract Sociopaths And How To Break The Cycle

There is a special attraction between empaths and sociopaths. They have a magnetism of their own that inevitably draws them to each other. Being the good souls that they are, empaths attract sociopaths very easily.

Both partners delegate their own unfulfilled needs to the other. On the one hand, there is a person who likes to give too much (co-narcissist), which is why empaths attract sociopaths so often. On the other hand, there is a person who likes to take too much (narcissist). For both of them, this is their usual way of relating to other people. They do not know any different.

The sociopath hopes to get all of their wants and needs from the empath. At the same time, they want to give back as little as they can get away with. This give-and-take dynamic is the main reason empaths attract sociopaths.

The empath/co-narcissist secretly hopes that some of the sociopath's intriguing sense of self will rub off on them. At the same time, they try to stabilize their self-esteem by playing the perfect partner for them. Because that's how they learned to feel like valuable human beings.

The Hidden Reason Why Empaths Attract Sociopaths

Why Empaths Attract Sociopaths And How To Break The Cycle

Empaths get stuck in their childlike needs and try not to have to develop further. Because this development means giving up the familiar. It is fascinating that empaths/sociopaths usually have a very strong interest in personal development.

They devour rows and rows of self-help books and read blogs and magazine articles on the subject, while their real development issues often remain hidden from them for years. They try to understand the reason why their relationship is so toxic. Or even try to find the reason why they, as empaths, attract sociopaths.

Unfortunately, this will only work out for both of them in the short term. The longer the relationship lasts, the more the dark side of this constellation comes to light. Two people enter into a relationship on the level of their undifferentiated childish needs and unconsciously try to avoid their own upcoming maturation steps by delegating them to the partner instead of becoming more mature themselves.

Empaths Attract Sociopaths In An Attempt To Resolve Inner Conflicts

Why Empaths Attract Sociopaths And How To Break The Cycle

There is a saying among couples therapists: We go looking for a partner with our injured children's souls. This is certainly by far the truest description of most toxic relationships.

Partnerships are the perfect setting for our inner children to work through their unresolved conflicts.

An enormous attraction often develops between two people when they share a similar unresolved basic conflict. That is how empaths attract sociopaths, and why their bond is so deeply rooted.

Usually, each partner unconsciously decided early in their life to deal with this unresolved conflict in a certain way (coping strategy). We are fascinated by others who deal with the same topic in a completely different way than we do.

This polarity with a connecting basic theme leads to an attraction that the participants can hardly escape. Especially at the beginning of a toxic relationship, this polarity often leads to enormous sexual tension. This is often misinterpreted as a great passion.

Life Crisis As A Turning Point For Empaths That Attract Sociopaths

Why Empaths Attract Sociopaths And How To Break The Cycle

Problems offer us additional opportunities to make up for the missed development steps. Sometimes the pressure has to increase and cause a massive life crisis so that everything dysfunctional but familiar collapses.

This is the first transformation milestone for empaths who are still attracted to sociopaths. They can save themselves a lot of suffering if they tackle our open development needs before total collapse occurs.

That is why an empath needs to recognize and master the developmental needs so that they can overcome the old destructive relationship patterns and increase their chances of getting into a healthy relationship.

Empaths attract sociopaths unconsciously as they try to transfer the developmental needs they have not mastered to their partner. This is evident in their choice of partner and their behavior in the relationship.

This also explains why the solution cannot be found outside. Empaths have to work this out on their own. The treasure that awaits them is their discovery of their true self once they are freed from old dysfunctional attachment patterns learned in childhood.

Empaths Attract Sociopaths With A False Sense Of Connection

Why Empaths Attract Sociopaths And How To Break The Cycle

Sociopaths and empaths are like fire and water and yet they can't get away from each other. Empaths attract sociopaths so intensely, that this is a cycle that is hard to break free from.

This feeling of connectedness and the "depth" experienced in the collusion often lead to the mistaken belief that one is in a particularly valuable relationship. Many believe that they are meant for each other or that they are "soul mates".

This feeling is often reinforced by the addictive rollercoaster ride of emotions. They feel alternating phases of merging and devaluation.

The emotional roller coaster triggers deep-seated fears of loss, especially in the empath. Many also interpret this fear of loss as love with the assumption that "if the thought of losing them makes me so vulnerable, it must be love."

A common belief among empathetic partners is that if problems are not resolved in that partnership, they will never be resolved and will always catch up with them.


It is true that this collusion is a special form of "partnership" and can trigger the most intense feelings. Here are two people tied together who are like kryptonite to each other. They destroy each other in the long run.

Because even if they keep trying, they usually can't get away from their partner completely. "Love" often turns into hate over time, and the hatred binds at least as strongly as affection.

Things An Empath Must Remember

Why Empaths Attract Sociopaths And How To Break The Cycle

Empaths have to be extremely careful when it comes to letting someone into their life and putting their trust in someone. No matter how easily empaths attract sociopaths, they must always be careful.

Dealing with a toxic person or sociopath, be it a family member, friend, co-worker, or partner, means setting themselves up for manipulation and emotional and mental abuse. And above all, these unique people must always keep in mind that it is not their duty to always help and take away the pain of other people.

It's also not their duty to improve other people's relationships, whether it's romantic or platonic. It's not their duty to suck up someone's emotions or be someone's punching bag. It is not their duty to take responsibility for other people's actions and mistakes.

Even if empaths attract sociopaths, it is not their duty to internalize other people's feelings and to feel angry, afraid, sad, or depressed when someone around them feels this way. By doing so, they only exhaust themselves and ruin their mental, emotional, and physical health.

You should never allow yourself to be treated in a way that you would not treat yourself. So, even though empaths attract sociopaths, it does not mean they should accept the relationship just because it makes them feel valued.

Empaths need to set firm boundaries and stick to them. They must stop trying to help and heal everyone around them. They need to take a break and let go of all the people who take advantage of them and treat them badly.

While not directly sociopathic or psychopathic, many people can still possess toxic traits. Some may trample on the feelings of others because of immaturity. Others tend to project their own problems onto others.

No matter what their motivations might be for treating someone wrong or taking advantage of them. Empaths should be on guard against sociopaths of all kinds.

Even though empaths attract sociopaths, once they choose not to carry all the burdens of the world on their shoulders, they regain control of their lives. That is why an educated empath is a sociopath's worst nightmare because their goodness cannot be exploited.