During my school years, I had numerous male friends, and everything appeared to be going well. I had my romantic relationships, they had theirs, and we all coexisted harmoniously. However, as we grew older, the dynamics between us became peculiar. I won't delve into the specifics, but each one of them began insinuating that they desired a romantic relationship with me, and when I didn't feel the same way, they eventually drifted away, one by one.
As I approach my late 20s, I find that most of my close male friends are either gay or in committed long-term relationships. Surprisingly, I'm content with this arrangement. While I don't believe it's impossible to have platonic friendships with guys, it can be quite challenging. Why do they always crave something beyond mere friendship? That's a question worth pondering.
1. Guys are way more likely to be attracted to their female friends
Nowadays, there seems to be a scientific explanation for almost everything. Studies have revealed that men are more prone to developing romantic feelings for their female friends than the other way around. Hence, if you assume that he only sees you as a friend, you might be mistaken, based on statistical evidence.
2. The more he gets to know you, the more he'll find you attractive
Even if you don't fit their typical dating preferences, your male friend can easily appreciate your wit and admirable qualities. When this fondness is combined with the intimate connection you share, it can potentially lead to romantic feelings (and perhaps, complications!).
3. Guys are ruled by their penises
Let's be realistic, men have a strong inclination towards sex, and it's often on their minds, even when you're present. As a woman, it's expected that they may subconsciously associate sexual thoughts with you, even without realizing it.
4. It's impossible to undo those thoughts
Once a thought enters the mind, it cannot be erased. Once your male friend envisions you in a sexual light, it becomes ingrained in his mind, and he can't unsee it. The thought lingers and remains a permanent fixture in his thoughts.
5. Guys like the unattainable
In most cases, once you enter a relationship, your male friend's level of attraction towards you will intensify. He may feel that your partner is inadequate for you, leading to a tedious macho rivalry between them.
6. Everyone always asks if you're dating already
To a woman who is not romantically interested, this could be a minor inconvenience. However, for someone who longs to be in a relationship with you, it is a persistent reminder of his emotions.
7. A hookup can ruin everything
Under the influence of alcohol, he makes a move, and you reciprocate out of curiosity. However, the next day, you realize that you're not interested, but he is. Restoring a platonic friendship at this point can be extremely challenging.
8. Rejection is hard at the best of times
It can be challenging to handle rejection, especially when you are also attempting to maintain a friendship with the person who rejected you.
9. It's hard to have a half-friendship
Once you become aware that your male friend has feelings for you, you may find yourself censoring your words and actions around them. This can create a sense of separation that could ultimately result in the demise of your friendship, or prompt him to confront the situation directly and potentially issue an ultimatum of either being in a romantic relationship or ending things altogether.