Why Do So Many Guys Hate PDA? Here Is The Truth From A Guy


You may fall into one of two categories when it comes to public displays of affection: you either embrace it fully or vehemently oppose it. If you're a woman who enjoys PDA but your boyfriend is against it, it's important to respect his feelings and not pressure him to engage in it. There could be valid reasons why he doesn't feel comfortable showing affection in public.

1. He's shy

If you're with an introverted boyfriend, it's likely he won't be a fan of PDA. As someone who identifies as an introvert, I can say that we generally prefer to avoid attention, even if it's well-intentioned. While we understand that women enjoy showing affection publicly, it can attract unwanted attention from strangers, which is something shy guys would rather avoid.

2. He's a private person

For some people, privacy is important, and they may not want to share their personal lives with the world. If your boyfriend doesn't showcase your relationship on social media, he may not be a fan of PDA either. He could highly value your relationship and prefer to keep it private rather than share intimate moments in public.

3. He was raised to hate it

I'm not a licensed psychologist, but based on what I learned in my Psych 205 class in college, it's likely that individuals who grew up in families that weren't very affectionate may not be comfortable with PDA. This may apply to both men and women. If you never learned that it's acceptable to show affection towards a loved one in public due to a lack of familial affection, you may not be comfortable with it.

4. His friends are watching

Your boyfriend may only be uncomfortable with PDA in the presence of his friends or acquaintances. Men can sometimes feel uneasy about displaying romantic gestures in front of their buddies. Additionally, your boyfriend may behave differently around his friends when you're not there to witness it. He may want to maintain that image, so he avoids being overly affectionate with you around them, as they may tease him later on.

5. He lacks control

Some men may feel the need to always be in control, and PDA can threaten that. If you're always initiating PDA, your boyfriend may feel like he's losing control of the situation, leading him to resist it. To help him feel more in control, you can try encouraging him to initiate PDA himself. However, if he still doesn't feel comfortable with it, it's important to accept his preference.

6. He's insecure about his manliness

In my opinion, it's an irrational basis for disliking public displays of affection, but for certain men, it holds true. At some point, your partner may have been conditioned to believe that actions like holding hands or engaging in simple PDA are not masculine enough. It's as though he perceives himself as less of a man for allowing you to kiss him in public. Although I find this viewpoint utterly nonsensical, it can provide insight into why some men abhor PDA.

7. He hates seeing others do it

From my perspective, this justification seems more logical. Speaking for myself, I have an aversion to observing public displays of affection by others, so it would be hypocritical of me to participate in such behavior. If your partner shares this sentiment, his dislike for PDA is not a reflection of his emotions towards you. Rather, he is being considerate of individuals who, like him, are not interested in witnessing the intimate moments of strangers in public.

8. He's the jealous type

As previously discussed, public displays of affection can attract the attention of strangers, and if your partner is inclined towards jealousy, he may not appreciate that. While it may seem archaic, a boyfriend who is prone to jealousy may not want a group of strangers ogling "his woman" during a public display of affection. As a result, he may avoid engaging in PDA with you.

9. You're pushing too hard

If a man has a firm stance on his dislike for PDA, he may become increasingly resistant if you continue to push him towards it. If you sense that he's not interested in engaging in public displays of affection, it's best to respect his wishes and refrain from insisting on it. Allow him time, and perhaps he will warm up to the idea in due course. If not, it's essential to recognize that this is a minor issue in the relationship and be grateful that there are no larger problems to contend with.