Why Dating When You’re Bored Is A Bad Idea (I Ended Up With The Worst Kisser Ever!)
Published in Nov 2018 / Updated in Aug 2021
I’m sure at one point or another almost everyone would have dated someone or multiple someones because they were bored. I have done it and although it wasn’t the best of ideas it kept me occupied…for a VERY short time.
One of the experiences I had when dating because I was bored ended up being one of the worst things I had ever done. Try not to laugh as I explain this story to you. I hadn’t really ever tried dating apps and I refused to use Tinder. I had done a little research and while I was recovering from my long-term relationship breakup heartache I thought I HAD to get back on the horse and start dating again. I was lonely, bored, and hadn’t really found anything to fulfil my life with any meaning. I just wanted to fill my time with something.
I decided to sign up with two different dating sites, one that I had heard good reviews about and another that I had thought might be interesting to try. The first one I spent a little more time and energy on and the other I got over pretty quickly because it just seemed like there were too many people out there just looking for a casual hook-up. While I hadn’t really decided what I wanted to achieve out of the apps I did know I was never the kind of woman who could handle a casual hook-up.
The day I signed up for the first app and wrote my profile I found quite a lot of people interested in messaging me. I tried to keep the conversations fun and light-hearted because I had no idea why they were on internet dating sites but at the end of the day I wasn’t really invested in any one person in particular. I would find myself each night talking to multiple people and finding it hard to keep track of conversations so at one point or another I did end up crossing conversations and having to quickly cover myself.
There was one person I decided to actually meet with after a few weeks of messaging. It was the first time I had been on a date since my ex and my first date ever from an online website. Instead of chickening out, I pulled myself together, got dressed, made myself look presentable, and made my way to the bar not far from my house to meet this person. Now when picking who to actually talk to I tried to go as far away from my ex as possible. The guy I was going to meet was SO different, blonde hair, blue eyes, tall, skinny and I really didn’t find him that attractive but I was bored.
I met him at the bar and sat down for a drink, we talked for ages and then he asked if I wanted to go back to his house and watch a movie. Being out of the game for so long I didn’t know what that actually meant but he assured me no funny business. I went, watched two movies, and ended up making out with him for hours. It felt good to be wanted but the WORST thing happened…he was the WORST KISSER EVER! If Kylie Jenner had met him she would never need lip injections. He sucked my lips instead of kissing them, he sucked my lips and bit them at the same time to the point where I ended up with blisters on the inside of my bottom lip and I couldn’t speak without sounding like a bloated fish for days. Stop laughing…it hurt like hell! (P.s don’t do what I did in this situation and eat salt and vinegar chips the next day. I have never curled up into the fetal position so quickly trying to wish the pain away).
Because I was bored I went back again and the same thing happened but this time it hurt more because the blisters had burst in my mouth. I managed to ignore it and as the night ticked over to the next morning I slept with him. The whole time I was in bed with him I was bored, he was very well endowed but had no idea what he was doing in the bedroom…I faked it, over and over again. I truly couldn’t wait to get out of there. The moment he was done I waited about 5 minutes and decided to get changed and leave. He was blown away…but now I get why some men do it…sometimes you just want to get the hell out of there!
I continued to see him for a little longer…well about 6 months but I refused to sleep with him again. The longer I kept up the charade that I was interested the more he ended up invested, I somewhat cared about him but what I realised quite quickly was that this man didn’t want to be in a relationship with me. He just wanted all the benefits of a relationship, every moment of my time but no commitment. We argued like a couple but were never officially a couple.
The day I decided to end it I told him that I’d watched him sitting there with my legs on his lap as we watched a movie and he was on his phone, on multiple dating apps talking to other women. Now while I was not really that interested in him I was actually offended. I decided to get over it and move on. I told him that he only wanted the benefits of a relationship without being in a relationship and then he told me why…this actually blew me away…He was an active participant in sex parties. I tried so hard not to laugh but on the inside, it was the perfect excuse to leave.
So if I can give any advice to anyone who is considering dating while they are bored…DON’T DO IT, you will only end up regretting it.