We are so used to writing cover letters and resumes for finding new jobs in life, and yet it’s not something we ever thought to do for our romantic lives.
It’s an exercise that can provide you with a lot of insight into your dating patterns and help you to refine what you are looking for in a future partner, based on past mistakes.
Writing a cover letter will not only remind you of why any guy would be lucky to have you with all the amazing qualities you have, but it’s also a good confidence boost.
My dating cover letter would include the fact that I am loyal, affectionate and imaginative when it comes to thinking up creative ideas and dates. I am also really into traveling, and so I would make it clear that I need a partner who would be happy to come on adventures with me, particularly to places on the coast! I am down to earth, and I love meditation and yoga, so it would be great to have a boyfriend to share those interests with. I love cooking, so I would talk about treating my man to tasty home-cooked meals, but also make it clear that I love a romantic dinner out as well followed by dancing the night away to live music.
The resume part is slightly trickier as this is where you have to take an honest look at your dating history and take responsibility for the parts you played in breakups. You discover what you’ve learned from your past experiences and what to avoid in the future. My resume would look something like this:
Name: Malanie Moore
Drunk Rugby Boy
-He could either be found on the rugby pitch or in the bar with the rugby team
-Enjoyed climbing up the side of buildings, while inebriated.
-Despite his cheating on me, I begged for him to come back.
-History repeated itself, and I was left crying in the middle of the road at 1 am one dark December night.
2004 – 2007
-Convinced I would never find anyone to replace Drunk Rugby Boy.
– A phase of meaningless hookups.
Mr. Holiday Romance Gone Wrong.
– Started out as friends on holiday.
– Kissed one night before we left.
– Declared undying love and kept in contact for over a year.
– Finally invited me to Europe to visit him.
– Once in Europe, he ignored me, hardly spent any time with me and took me to a movie in a language I couldn’t understand.
-I cried for a month.
2010 – 2012
-Charming and charismatic.
-Chauvinistic and assumed any ideas I had were out of ‘Cosmopolitan’ magazine and not my own.
-Wanted to test out my ironing and housework skills.
-Insanely jealous and accused me of cheating even though I hadn’t left his side.
-I gave him way too many chances hoping he would change. He didn’t.
2012 – 2016
Mr. Commitment Phobe.
– Perused me for months.
– Finally agreed to a date and fell madly in love.
– Then the topic of marriage and kids came up, and he revealed he envisioned himself alone on a tropical island when retired – i.e., I was not welcome in his future.
– Made the mistake of thinking I could be ‘just friends’ which broke my heart over and over again.
-Downloaded 20+ books on how to win your ex back.
2016 – 2018
– Experiencing dating app fatigue.
-Tired of being at the singles table at weddings.
As you can see, my dating resume reveals that I have a tendency to ignore red flags, to think that I can ‘fix’ people and to give people more than enough chances even though it’s clear the same thing will happen again. I encourage you to write your own dating cover letter and resume. You’ll be amazed by what you learn from this cathartic experience!