Published in Oct 2019 / Updated in Oct 2021
Searching for the right guy can be so damn exhausting. For lack of a better word, you can even get desperate and try to seal the deal with the next potential candidate that crosses your path.
But hold your horses!
You should not be so easy. And I am not saying you play hard to get to avoid seeming desperate. Instead, you should actually become hard to get, and here's how it's done.
1. Think Of Yourself As A Catch
You've probably heard this before: you are what you think. And it's very true. If you think you are a catch, then you will be, but if not, then nobody will think you are. So, imagine that a guy will feel lucky to have you, and you will find a guy who thinks he hit the jackpot when he got you.
2. Move On If There Is No Spark
Some things are either there or not. If there is no love, don't struggle to be in a relationship with the person. And if you wait until you find the person who makes you feel the spark, then you will be hard to get and will only end up with guys who deserve you.
3. He'll Make More Effort If You Are Hard To Get
If a guy gets you easily, he will not feel obliged to try hard to hold on to you. But if you are hard to get, he will know you are worth much more and will put in a little more effort into the relationship.
4. It's About Confidence, Not Narcissism
Being hard to get shows you have confidence while playing hard to get reeks of narcissism and big-headedness. You don't want to create that impression because no serious guy wants a toxic girl in his life. Be realistic. So, while you need a good guy, it does not mean he should be expected to meet unrealistic expectations.
5. Embrace Rejection
Obviously, you cannot say yes to all guys that approach you. You have to turn down some of them. That's life, and you have no reason to blame yourself for it. Let him know that you are not interested so you can free each other and pursue other romantic interests.
6. The Guy Who Finds You Worthwhile Will Expect It
Guys often narrate the hoops they had to jump through in pursuing the women in their lives. Your guy will appreciate knowing that he conquered to get you. So, if you were hard to get, he will consider you worth having in his life.
7. Find the Right Guy, Not Any Guy
However frustrating it could be to find the right guy, you should be patient enough to wait until you find him. Settling for any guy will only make it less likely for you to find the right person. So, be hard to get and only the right guy will make the cut.
8. Desperation Stinks
Being desperate for love makes you an easy target for men who like to take advantage of women. It will also be off-putting to a guy who genuinely wants to start a relationship with you. Desperation shows neediness, and nobody wants to deal with that. Being hard to get makes it clear you know what you want.
9. Believe In Yourself
Once you understand and accept that you deserve real love, you will not settle for guys who give you any less. That will make you hard to get, but it will be for the best. Thinking you don't deserve real love will make you desperate, and you will take whatever is available.
10. Love Isn't A Game, It's A Gift
The reason playing hard to get has a bad rep is because people use it to manipulate others and play with their emotions. However, when you are hard to get, it is clear to the guy pursuing you that you have certain standards that you will not compromise. You actually want to be available and good to the right person, and it's not about messing up with a guy's mind.