When Dating Feels Impossible, Remember This


As a single woman, the question you dread the most is probably "How's your love life?" Instead of shrugging it off and redirecting the conversation, it may be worth reflecting on why this question bothers you. If you truly dislike discussing your dating experiences, it's possible that you're not enjoying the process of seeking a partner. But it doesn't have to be that way. If you're feeling discouraged about dating, here's a helpful reminder to tell yourself:

1. You only need to meet one person

Before online dating, being single meant that you simply hadn't met anyone in your daily life who sparked your interest. But in today's swipe-happy world, there's no excuse not to date and meet lots of potential partners. However, when you start to feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of options, remember that you're only looking for one special person who clicks with you and fits into your life. So don't stress - you only need to meet one guy.

2. Everyone hates it just as much as you do

If you bring up the topic of dating with any of your single or coupled-up friends, chances are they'll respond with groans and complaints about their worst dating experiences or how frustrating modern dating can be. But if everyone feels that way, can it really be that bad? The fact that everyone shares similar frustrations should be a comfort to you.

3. If you give up, you'll never get to the end goal

You wouldn't choose to stay unemployed simply because you were tired of going on job interviews and didn't want to do it anymore, right? You would keep at it until you found a job. The same applies to dating - you can't just give up, so instead of telling yourself how much you hate it, it's time to push forward and keep trying. After all, you really don't have any other choice.

4. You're actually learning something

You may feel like the only thing you're learning from dating is how much you hate it, and although that feeling is valid, it's not the whole truth. Through dating, you're also discovering what kind of person you want to date and who you want to avoid completely. You may realize that you can't handle someone with a certain profession or that you're not interested in dating someone who is unemployed or still in school. So give yourself credit for these insights.

5. You don't really have anything to complain about

Although going on bad first dates can be frustrating, in the grand scheme of things, it's a #firstworldproblem. If you have the basic necessities like food, shelter, friends, family, a job, and good health, then the fact that you don't enjoy making small talk with strangers shouldn't be a big deal.

6. You can't take a shortcut

The truth is, you're not unique in your struggles. Finding a boyfriend won't happen overnight, and you can't just delete your dating apps and skip the first date process. So, it's best to keep doing what you're doing and not give up hope.

7. A break will do you good

Do you feel like you're stuck in a never-ending cycle of dating? Well, here's a secret - you don't have to keep going. It's okay to take a break for a few weeks or even a month. Although you might feel like you're wasting time, it's important to listen to your own needs and take a step back to recharge. So don't be afraid to take a break - there's nothing wrong with it.

8. You're not alone

Feeling burnt out from dating? The next time you can't bear the thought of going on another first date or messaging someone online, text your BFF and make plans to meet for drinks. Spending time with your best friend will lift your spirits and give you renewed hope. Plus, she might even have some great advice to offer. After all, she's your best friend for a reason.

9. You need to see dating as a bunch of small steps

If dating was always terrible, nobody would be interested in finding love and everyone would be single. However, that's clearly not the case. So, whenever you're feeling like dating is impossible, remember that it's simply a series of small steps - you make a date, go on the date, see if you click, make another date, and so on. It's really not a big deal, and things may not be as bad as they seem.

10. You're making it too complicated

Are you always anxious about making a great first impression, trying out 10 new dating apps every week, or coming up with unique date ideas? Well, you may be unintentionally ruining your dating life. It's better to relax, simplify things, and stick to the classic drinks date. And if you want to keep your sanity, avoid using more than one or two dating apps.

11. You never know when your luck will change

They say "it gets worse before it gets better," and that can definitely be true for dating. One day, you might be feeling down about all the bad dates, but the next day, you could meet someone who you really hit it off with. You never know when your luck will turn around, so it's worth continuing to put yourself out there. After all, why not give yourself the chance to meet that special someone?