What To Text Your Ex-Boyfriend On His Birthday (And If You Should)

At times, resisting the urge to text your ex-boyfriend can be more difficult than usual.

Typically, such moments occur when thoughts of him are more frequent, such as on your anniversary or when a movie is released that you know he would enjoy.

Another instance where it might be challenging to get him off your mind is on his birthday. If you're still connected on social media, you'll receive notifications.

You'll also observe the influx of well-wishes on his social media wall. He'll likely post a status thanking everyone as well.

Throughout, you may feel an irresistible urge to quickly type out a message to him.

What would be an appropriate message to send your ex-boyfriend on his birthday? Is it advisable to even text him at all?

Continue reading, and we'll discuss everything you need to know about what to text your ex-boyfriend on his birthday.


Let's begin with the essential question you should ask yourself: Is it appropriate to text your ex-boyfriend on his birthday?

Unfortunately, the answer is not straightforward. It could be a yes or a no, depending on various circumstances.

To answer that question, let's examine those situations:

What is the current state of your relationship?

Begin by assessing what your current relationship with him is like. Focus on the present situation rather than what you desire it to be, what it used to be, or how you predict it will be in the future.

Try to view yourselves as objectively as possible at this moment.

If you're friends or on good terms, it's entirely reasonable to wish him a happy birthday.

However, if you're still hurt or distant from each other, it's probably not an appropriate time to text him at all.

Do you have any ulterior motives?

Be truthful with yourself: if you're contemplating texting your ex-boyfriend, you're likely anticipating something to develop from it.

This is where you should pause and contemplate precisely what that something is.

Do you want him to start thinking about you again? Are you trying to rekindle your former relationship?

Given those motivations, it may not be the best idea to contact him. Allow yourself time to contemplate and recover before attempting to communicate with him again.

Conversely, if all you want to do is wish him a happy birthday as a courtesy, then do so! This implies that you don't anticipate anything else occurring afterward, which is the correct frame of mind to have.

How long ago did you break up?

It's no secret that one of the most challenging periods after any breakup is right after the end of the relationship.

This is the time when your grief will be at its peak, resulting in a jumble of complex emotions.

If you're still at the stage where you can't determine whether you love him, hate him, want to be his friend, or want to ignore him completely...then you probably shouldn't text him.

There's a higher likelihood that you'll say something you'll regret. Wait for some more time to pass, and for your emotions to calm down, before you speak with him.

The further back the breakup was, the more time you've had to heal. So, if the breakup happened a few months ago rather than just last week, you're in a much more stable position to text him.

Do you still have feelings for him?

Here's the million-dollar question, which is also a really challenging one, so you might be reluctant to answer it.

But take a moment to reflect on it. If you're finding it difficult to get your ex out of your thoughts and struggling to stay away from him, is it because you still have feelings for him?

And if you do acknowledge having feelings for him, do you believe that those feelings are mutual?

This is a challenging territory to navigate, as the response to whether or not you should text him can quickly change depending on your answer here.

If you still have feelings for your ex but you're not sure if he feels the same way, it's best to proceed with caution. You don't want to put yourself in a vulnerable position and risk getting hurt again. In this case, it might be better to wait until you have a clearer understanding of your own feelings and whether or not there's any chance of reconciliation before reaching out to him on his birthday.

However, if both of you are considering rekindling your relationship, then it's important to communicate with each other. You will need to work through your feelings together, so sending a message to wish him a happy birthday might be appropriate in this situation.

Let's consider the same question from the opposite perspective. What if your ex-boyfriend still has feelings for you, but you don't reciprocate them?

In this case, it's best for you to refrain from texting him. He could interpret your message differently than what you actually intended, leading to misunderstandings and false hope.

If you're struggling to move on from someone, even after a significant amount of time has passed, and you feel like you need assistance to rekindle your relationship with them, we suggest seeking help from Amy North.

As a relationship coach, Amy North has a particular focus on helping women achieve their desired romantic partner, including ex-partners. Her Text Chemistry Course provides valuable insights into crafting messages that can reignite his interest and make him yearn for you once again. It is an excellent starting point for anyone looking to learn about effective communication strategies in winning back an ex.

Are you in the middle of your no contact period?

A no-contact period is a specified duration of time during which both parties agree not to communicate with each other following a romantic breakup.

The objective of a no-contact period is to provide both individuals with the necessary space and time to heal from the emotional upheaval of a breakup. By refraining from superfluous discussions, you can avoid feeling suffocated by your ex and create the space to move forward.

In the event that his birthday occurs during the midst of a no-contact period, refrain from texting him. It's crucial to prioritize your own healing by honoring the designated duration of the no-contact period.

After the no-contact period has ended, you can still extend belated birthday wishes to him.


A simple happy birthday and well wishes

Annually, your social media accounts, including Facebook, are inundated with messages on your birthday.

The majority of these messages are straightforward, containing nothing more than a simple "Happy Birthday!" However, despite their simplicity, they serve as a reminder that others are thinking of you on your special day.

Although it's always nice to receive heartfelt messages, one doesn't necessarily have to go into exhaustive detail when extending birthday wishes. Similarly, when communicating with an ex-boyfriend, there's no obligation to pour one's heart out.

Nonetheless, we suggest adding a little more than just a simple "happy birthday" if you plan on texting him. This is because the phrase on its own can come across as impersonal. To add a touch of warmth, consider incorporating a smiling or cake emoji.

To further enhance the warmth of your message, consider including an additional simple sentence such as, "Wishing you a wonderful day – you deserve it!"

Sample message: "Happy Birthday, his name! May your day be filled with joy and celebration!"

Ask him how he's doing

If you're hoping to initiate a conversation, the most effective approach is to ask a question. Questions provide an easy opportunity for the other person to engage by creating an opening for a conversation.

However, it's best to avoid delving into overly personal questions and stick to lighter and simpler ones. Once the conversation is flowing, you can gradually transition to deeper topics if it feels appropriate.

Sample message: "Hey, his name! Wishing you a wonderful birthday! Any fun plans for the day?"

Offer to treat him

Reserve this strategy for situations where you and your ex-boyfriend are on exceptionally good terms. If you've been maintaining regular communication or are friends, it may be appropriate to consider hanging out together again.

Furthermore, this can also serve as an excellent opportunity to assess his level of interest in potentially rekindling your relationship.

It's worth noting, however, that this doesn't have to be the case. Just as you would likely celebrate your friends' birthdays, there's no need for the dynamic to be any different when it comes to your ex-boyfriend.

If you still have lingering feelings for your ex-boyfriend or if you're not entirely comfortable around each other yet, it's best to refrain from offering to treat him at all costs. In such instances, it's advisable to opt for more straightforward messages or to forego messaging him altogether.

Sample message: "Happy Birthday, his name! How about we catch up over drinks sometime soon? There's a great bar downtown that I've been wanting to check out."

Don't text him at all

As much as you may desire to, the reality is that it's frequently preferable to refrain from texting your ex-boyfriend altogether on his birthday, including sending a simple "happy birthday" message, which may appear to be a standard courtesy.

Under what circumstances would it be advisable to avoid messaging him altogether?

It's best to avoid messaging him if you're still struggling to move on, the breakup was recent, or if you're not on good terms with him. In such instances, even sending a simple "happy birthday" text may cause unwanted drama or negative emotions.

Allow him to enjoy his birthday festivities without receiving any messages from his former partner.


If you're aiming to begin a new relationship or rekindle the flame with your ex, it's crucial to have a well-defined strategy in place.

Texting has become a vital aspect of communication in today's world. If you lack the ability to text effectively, establishing a connection can prove to be much more challenging.

In addition to reading articles, there are several ways you can enhance your texting skills. One of the most effective ways is to take classes or courses that target your weak areas. These classes can provide you with personalized feedback and guidance on how to improve your texting style, tone, and overall communication skills. Additionally, you can practice by texting with friends or family members and asking for their feedback on your messages.

Amy North has created a program specifically designed to help people improve their texting abilities. Her Text Chemistry program is full of clever tips, techniques, and text messages that can be used to rekindle a connection with any man, including your ex.