An unfortunate event has occurred: you have ended your relationship with your boyfriend.
Upon some reflection, you come to the decision that the most effective coping mechanism for you is to start a period of no contact. This allows you the necessary time to recover and focus on finding happiness within yourself.
However, as the designated period of no contact comes to a close, you realize that thoughts of your ex still occupy your mind. With the time frame over, you begin to contemplate the idea of resuming communication with him.
This guide is intended for those who may be uncertain about what to text their ex-boyfriend following a period of no contact. We will present you with various options so that you can make an informed decision, regardless of the outcome you hope to achieve.
However, let us start with some fundamental information for those who require context.
WHAT IS A NO CONTACT PERIOD, AND WHY SHOULD YOU DO IT?
If you are inexperienced in the realm of dating or are unfamiliar with the concept of breakups, you may not have come across the idea of no-contact periods. Allow us to provide an explanation.
In essence, a no-contact period is precisely what it implies: after a breakup, you decide to abstain from all contact with your ex for a predetermined period of time.
The duration of the no-contact period varies and depends on what length of time you feel most at ease with. It can range from a few weeks to several months.
Why would one choose to do this, especially if they still have feelings of love for their ex-partner?
The majority of individuals who undergo a no-contact period believe that the benefits surpass the drawbacks. These intervals offer the necessary time to lift oneself up, recuperate, and work towards self-improvement.
Relationships, even when they come to an end, serve as a learning experience. It is challenging to learn and progress without taking the time to contemplate your lessons. That is precisely what a no-contact period represents - a pause to contemplate and develop.
(Of course, it doesn't hurt that this period also allows your ex-partner to miss you. As the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder.)
LET'S FIGURE OUT THE ANSWERS TO THESE QUESTIONS NOW
Before you initiate contact with your ex again, it is crucial to plan ahead. This should be your initial step.
In addition to contemplating the content of your text messages, it is important to consider the state of your emotions and thoughts regarding the situation. By addressing these questions, you can gain a clearer understanding of how to proceed.
Should you text him again?
This may be a challenging question to pose, and it may seem unconventional to inquire about it in a guide focused on acquiring skills for texting your ex.
The question requires a response, however, the answer is frequently negative - texting your ex-boyfriend is not advisable.
In what circumstances would the response be positive?
If you continue to have strong feelings for your ex-boyfriend following a period of no contact, it may be worth considering reaching out to him again. Additionally, desiring a friendship with him is another valid reason for reconnecting through text.
How are you feeling about him after the no contact period?
Since matters of the heart are primarily emotional, it's imperative to carefully assess your own feelings.
Your emotional well-being is significant, and you should feel considerably better than when the breakup occurred before you can confidently initiate contact with him again.
In case you're still experiencing emotional turmoil or uncertainty, it might be best to take a step back and extend the waiting period. Alternatively, you may even contemplate severing all ties if the relationship was toxic or if he mistreated you.
If you're feeling self-assured and more resilient, you're better positioned to have a conversation with your ex-boyfriend. Irrespective of the outcome, he is likely to appreciate the positivity you exude.
With any luck, he feels the same way, and your new relationship - whether it's a romantic or a platonic one - can begin on a positive note.
Do you still have strong feelings for him? Winning back his affection may be a lengthy journey, but it's certainly not unattainable.
Is it better to wait for him to contact you?
Now that you have a clearer understanding of whether or not you should message him, the subsequent question is when to send the text.
In several of our other guides, we've discussed the benefits of playing hard to get during the initial stages of dating. Creating some space between you and your crush can motivate him to pursue you and appreciate the attention you provide.
Although those flirtatious games have their time and place, after a breakup is not one of them. It's crucial to demonstrate to your ex that your desire to be a part of his life is sincere.
That implies avoiding games. Demonstrate your sincerity by taking the initiative and contacting him first if he hasn't already reached out to you.
By initiating contact, you'll signal to him that you're prepared to communicate. He won't presume that you're avoiding him, and if he's receptive to speaking, he should reciprocate the effort.
Get a readout on his feelings
Are you uncertain because you're unaware of his feelings? There's a simple way to discover the truth without relying on a mind reader.
The answer is deceptively simple: just ask him.
You don't necessarily have to ask him to reveal his deepest emotions to you directly. Nevertheless, by simply inquiring about his emotional state or how he's feeling, you can get a sense of what's on his mind indirectly.
His response will reveal a great deal, regardless of what he says. For example, if he gives you a curt one-word response, you'll know that he's not yet ready to engage in conversation with you.
Conversely, if he not only answers your inquiry but also reciprocates by asking about your well-being, you'll know that he's more willing to converse. This is a positive indication.
You may even glean information from his lack of response. In this situation, silence is telling: it implies that he's uninterested in speaking, which means it's time for you to move on.
For instance, you might say something like, "Hi, his name. It's been a while since we last spoke, but I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. Are you feeling okay?"
Talk about the good times
If you already have a conversation going, this approach might be more effective. When the conversation begins to taper off and you want to keep it going, tap into one of your most potent weapons: nostalgia.
As humans, we tend to hold onto our cherished memories and look back on them with affection. Remembering the good times is a natural inclination.
Take a trip down memory lane and reminisce about some of the most cherished moments from your relationship. Open up that memory box and recall the time when you accidentally flung pasta at the wall in an Olive Garden, or when you camped under the stars. Why not ask your partner if they remember those moments too?
If those memories still bring a smile to your face, it's likely that your partner holds them close to their heart as well. Sharing these moments with them may help to soften their heart, even if just a little bit.
Examples: "I occasionally reminisce about the time we went backpacking in the national park. Do you recall that memory?"
Start with something to make him laugh
We can no longer keep count of how many times we've stated that humor is the most effective way to relieve tension.
Once more, we find ourselves preparing to say it again. However, the reason for doing so is simply because it remains a factual statement.
During difficult periods, humor often serves as our coping mechanism. A hearty chuckle has the ability to alleviate the strain we carry in our shoulders, jaw, and head.
Furthermore, individuals who have the ability to make us laugh are more likely to be perceived as likable. They exude an enjoyable aura that makes their company even more delightful.
If you're able to make your ex-boyfriend laugh, he'll be inclined to view you in a positive light. It's likely that he'll feel more at ease when communicating with you.
For instance, you could say something like, "Hey, his name. I stumbled upon this hilarious meme and immediately thought of you." Then, you can send him the meme image.
Show him that he's on your mind
If you find yourself constantly thinking about him and want to express your feelings without being too forward, what are some ways you could do it?
You could convey your sentiments indirectly by finding something that reminds you of him and sharing it with him. This can be a straightforward approach to expressing your thoughts without being too direct.
There's a wide variety of things you could send him, but videos, songs, or references to books and movies are some of the simplest options. These types of content can effectively convey your message without being too overwhelming.
Once you've found something that you want to share with him, send it to him and let him know that it made you think of him. This will communicate that he's been on your mind without explicitly saying it. This approach can be a subtle way to convey your feelings to him.
Here's an example: "I came across this song on my way to work today, and it immediately made me think of you. Take a listen and let me know what you think." Then, you can include a link to the song.
Ask him about something he's interested in
Surprisingly, the key to appearing like a skilled conversationalist with minimal effort is to shift the conversation's focus onto the other person, such as your ex in this scenario.
Are you prepared to enhance your texting abilities? Look through this guide right away!
Inquire about his interests and hobbies, and take it up a notch by asking for his advice on these matters. This approach will allow him to feel like an expert and further engage in the conversation.
For instance, if he is passionate about photography, you may text him expressing your newfound interest in photography and request his recommendations on beginner cameras.
Here is an example: "Hi, his name. Recently, I have developed an interest in photography and was wondering if you could suggest a suitable camera for a beginner like me. Additionally, I would appreciate any other tips or advice you might have on the subject."
Discuss the possibility of hanging out again
Are you two getting along well? Have your conversations with him been enjoyable once again?
Perhaps you are now in a position to consider spending time together again. Keep in mind that it doesn't have to be romantic.
Being friends with an ex after a breakup is a possibility. We won't deceive you: it's not simple, but it's feasible.
Naturally, if there is a renewed spark between you, you can take the opportunity to assess the chemistry in person. If you both feel the connection, there's nothing wrong with making it romantic.
Therefore, when things are progressing positively, begin to gauge his interest in meeting up. Propose a brief get-together at a public location, such as a coffee shop or a casual restaurant.
These locations are pleasant and neutral. Additionally, if things become uncomfortable, you won't be alone with each other, attempting to engage in small talk in a silent room.
Example: "Would you be interested in getting a cup of coffee with me during my lunch break tomorrow?"
Invite him to be your friend
If your intention is to be friends with him, it may be necessary to be upfront about this right from the start. Simply texting him after several weeks or even months of no communication could potentially convey the wrong message.
Therefore, after you resume communication, send him a brief text asking for a truce and suggesting friendship. Perhaps as time passes, things could evolve, and you might see the possibility of rekindling the relationship.
However, for the time being, there is definitely nothing amiss with returning to the fundamentals.
Example: "It's been a while since we last spoke, but I still appreciate you as a person and enjoy our conversations. Would you be interested in maintaining a friendship with me?"
Plan out your future and expectations
To enter into your future, you must take the first step in the present. Thus, there is no better time than now to begin strategizing where you want this journey to lead you.
Although it is impossible to prepare for every situation that may arise, unexpected incidents and surprises are a regular occurrence.
You can begin by setting clear boundaries and expectations with your ex-boyfriend, to ensure that both of you feel comfortable while communicating.
This is the opportunity for you to communicate your desired level of relationship with him, whether it be a friendship, a distant acquaintance, or a potential reconciliation in the future. It's also a good time to discuss any specific boundaries, such as refraining from dating each other's friends and family members.
Having a mutual understanding of each other's desires and expectations will make conversing with him much more effortless.
Examples: "I enjoy our conversations, but before we proceed, I believe it's essential for us to discuss setting some boundaries. How do you feel about that?"