Relationships don't always go smoothly, do they?
If someone claims otherwise, they are not aware of the reality. It's natural to have disagreements when you spend a considerable amount of time with someone you love.
It's simply a part of human nature. It's unrealistic to anticipate being perfectly aligned all the time.
However, having disagreements with each other doesn't necessarily indicate a flaw in the relationship. In such situations, it's crucial for both individuals to communicate with each other and make an effort to resolve the issue.
Wondering how to initiate peace negotiations with your upset boyfriend over text? Keep reading, and we'll provide you with some options.
BEFORE YOU TEXT YOUR ANGRY BOYFRIEND…
Take some time to decompress
It's acceptable to enter the conversation while acknowledging that you're upset, but it's not advisable to text him when you're so furious that you may lash out at him.
Texting in such a state may worsen the situation and make him angrier than he already is. He may feel the need to defend himself and lash out back at you in return.
Therefore, until you're capable of texting him calmly and clearly, it's best to step back and take a break. Do whatever you need to alleviate the tension and regain composure within yourself.
Our recommendation is to engage in activities you enjoy, such as exercising, meeting friends, talking to family, or working on your art. Give yourself time to reach a calmer state, and then when you're ready, you can text your boyfriend.
Think about why he's angry, and if you owe him an apology
Recognizing when we've made a mistake is one of the most mature things we can do in relationships. Reflect on your recent actions and consider if they may have caused his anger.
It's important to remember that nobody is perfect. You may have inadvertently offended or hurt his feelings, or even intentionally done so in a momentary lapse of judgment.
It's alright to make mistakes. The initial step to resolving the issue is acknowledging that it exists, and then you can start working on resolving it.
On the flip side, it's important to acknowledge that not everything is necessarily your fault. There could be reasons for his anger that are unknown to you, or reasons that may seem insignificant to you but are significant to him.
It's crucial to invest some time in attempting to identify the root cause, as it can impact how you communicate with him in your texts. If the fault lies even partly with you, it's appropriate to apologize, but you need not apologize for circumstances that are outside your control or that you didn't trigger.
Remember to be open and receptive to what he has to say
When he confides in you, allow him to express his emotions without any criticism. Pay close attention to what he has to say and refrain from interrupting him, giving him ample time to articulate his thoughts.
It's possible that he might experience emotions that are difficult for you to comprehend. It's likely that he recognizes that some of his feelings are unwarranted or may cause pain.
However, it's important to remember that these are just feelings, and they don't necessarily translate into actions. Often, we experience emotions without any apparent reason or trigger.
Consider all the instances when you woke up feeling grumpy or sad without any apparent cause. Emotions don't always follow a logical pattern.
It's crucial to show him respect when he shares his thoughts and emotions with you. After he has finished, it's important to reciprocate and share how you feel as well.
Afterward, you can collaborate as a team to navigate through this situation. If you respond harshly to him when he opens up about his emotions, you won't be able to move forward and address the issue at hand.
WHAT TO TEXT YOUR BOYFRIEND WHEN HE'S MAD AT YOU
Apologize to him
We all err at times. This could mean that we inadvertently hurt the people we hold dear by acting impulsively without much thought.
If upon reflection, you come to the realization that you are responsible for the situation, you can demonstrate your maturity by acknowledging your mistake and apologizing to him first. Take the initiative to bridge the gap between you two with a heartfelt apology, letting him know that you are aware of your error.
It's possible that you were excessively teasing him, being insulting, or engaging in some other behavior that may have contributed to the situation.
The critical term here is "sincere." Apologize to him only if you genuinely mean it, not just because you think it's what he wants to hear.
Apologize from the depths of your heart, and he will be able to sense the genuineness of your apology.
Example: "I wanted to take a moment to apologize for throwing away your old shoes (or any other thing that might have caused offense). I had no idea that it would hurt you so much, and I regret my actions deeply."
Offer to make it up to him
Using words is a great way to begin mending the rift between you two, but it may not be enough if he's incredibly upset. If you are at fault, offering to make amends could help to repair the damage.
When making amends, it's essential to link your offering to the underlying issue that triggered his anger in the first place. For instance, using the previous example, if you mistakenly discarded something that held significance to him, offering to assist him in acquiring a replacement could be helpful.
If you said something that wounded his emotions, apologize and explain that it won't happen again. Then, propose going on a date to show him that you care.
If you inadvertently broke something, similar to throwing it away, inform him that you will attempt to replace it if possible.
Example: "I'm deeply apologetic for breaking your controller. It was an inadvertent mistake, and I am sorry. Let me get you a new one as a replacement."
Using these techniques, your boyfriend may apologize to you sooner than you think.
Encourage him to be open with you
It's essential to recognize that guys can also be petty at times. Although women are typically portrayed as being the ones who get upset without reason, men can also experience these feelings.
It's entirely possible that you may not be aware of why he's being salty with you. In such situations, promoting an open dialogue with him is one of the best ways to proceed.
To initiate an open dialogue with him, approach the situation in a non-judgmental way and communicate to him that he is important to you. However, also make it clear that you won't be able to solve the problem if you don't understand what it is.
Since many men tend to focus on finding solutions, this approach should resonate with him. However, don't expect an immediate response as he may need some time to process his feelings before sharing them with you.
It's important to respect his need for space and not keep pushing him to talk. Let him know that you're there to listen whenever he's ready, but don't expect an immediate answer. Sometimes, guys need time to process their feelings before opening up, and it's important to give him that time. Reassure him that he matters to you and that you're committed to finding a solution together when he's ready.
When he does approach you, be receptive to what he has to say. Give him your full attention, avoid interrupting him, and resist the urge to react angrily or defensively to his comments.
It's important to remain calm and composed when he does approach you. Listen to him intently without interrupting him and avoid getting defensive. If you need some time to collect your thoughts before responding, take it. Responding in a level-headed manner is key to keeping the conversation constructive and moving towards a resolution.
That's a great example! It's direct, non-judgmental, and emphasizes the importance of communication.
Make him smile or laugh
The best way to relieve tension is through humor.
Have you ever noticed how often humorous characters are used to alleviate tension in movies or books? Or perhaps you've experienced firsthand the power of humor to diffuse an argument, resulting in everyone involved breaking out into laughter.
When your boyfriend is upset with you and you're not making any headway in your conversation, adding a touch of humor might be beneficial. By making him laugh, you could help him relax and become more willing to openly express his feelings to you.
Here's an example: "I heard that you should never go to bed angry. I think we should take that advice seriously. ;)" Alternatively, you could use a relevant meme to ease the tension around the reason for the argument. For instance, if the argument was about you breaking something, you could send him a meme about clumsiness.
Schedule time to unwind together
When external circumstances are causing both of you to feel stressed and irritable with each other, take some time to unwind together.
You don't have to plan this time specifically for discussing your emotions. Rather, you can use it as an opportunity to simply appreciate each other's company and unwind together.
As you both relax and begin to feel more connected, you might naturally feel more inclined to discuss the reasons behind his anger. This can be an excellent way to help both of you loosen up and facilitate an open conversation.
Even if things don't unfold as planned, you will likely enjoy spending time together regardless.
Here's an example: "Hey, I think we could use some time to unwind and have some fun. How about I take you out for dinner tonight?"
Let him come to you first
Sometimes, men need their own space. They might not feel the need for lengthy conversations and instead prefer to tackle issues on their own.
Therefore, it might be wise to give him some space and let him collect his thoughts, especially if you're uncertain why he's upset. It's possible that his anger isn't directed at you, but rather at external factors that are causing him stress and leading to irritability or moodiness with those around him.
By giving him some space, he can calm down, reduce stress, and process his own emotions. It's worth noting that men are often conditioned to suppress their emotions, so he may need time to work up the courage to open up to you about his feelings.