If you have been dating for a while, you have likely encountered him.
You are familiar with the type: the attractive man who initially captivates you with his engaging conversation, playful flirting, and irresistible charm. However, as you grow closer to him, alarming patterns emerge.
One issue is that he seems evasive. You believe the relationship is thriving, yet it never progresses beyond the "casual talking" phase that often halts relationship growth.
Soon after, he begins to ignore you. Red flags are raised as he abruptly distances himself, fails to show up for plans, and takes longer to reply to your messages.
Given the widespread experience of this kind of behavior, we have compiled this guide on how to handle texting with a man who repeatedly ignores you.
CLASSIC BLOW-OFF SIGNS
What is meant by "ignoring you"?
If you're inexperienced in dating, you may be unfamiliar with the term and its meaning. Additionally, even if you have some understanding, you may struggle to identify the signs immediately.
Here are some common indicators that a guy is avoiding you, so you can recognize them if they occur:
Making repeated excuses not to hang out with you
Understandably, certain circumstances may arise. He could have a packed schedule filled with work, socializing, family, education, or any other commitments.
However, if you have genuine feelings for someone, you'll make an effort to spend time with them. If he consistently gives you reasons for not being able to meet, it's a red flag.
He may indeed have a busy schedule, but there's also a chance he's avoiding a date with you unless he can dictate the terms.
Canceling plans to see you
It's understandable that sometimes, unexpected events can arise and prevent one from making it to a date, no matter how eager they are.
Acceptance is key, as some circumstances are beyond our control. When a date is canceled with a valid reason, it's important to understand and not resist it.
However, if this becomes a recurring pattern and you notice multiple canceled dates, it may indicate that he's not taking the relationship seriously. More than one or two cancellations is a red flag.
Acting cold or distant
Have you ever experienced a situation where you felt someone withdrawing while talking to you?
Perhaps they delayed their response, only sending brief one-word messages, or even failed to respond to you altogether.
Occasionally, we all have rough days, and he is no exception. If he acts distant occasionally, it might be due to a difficult workday or a troubled friend.
If he frequently withdraws after showing intense interest, it's worth considering that he may be prioritizing other things over you.
Dodging talks about your relationship
Men can be particularly unreliable when it comes to defining the direction of a relationship.
There are several reasons for this behavior, one of which could be that you initiated the serious conversation too quickly, causing him to feel overwhelmed.
Another possibility is that he's not ready for a commitment. This is more likely if you've been dating or in a "just talking" phase for several months without any signs from him that he wants a more serious relationship.
Casual relationships can be fine if that's what both parties desire. However, if you two are not on the same page, a responsible man will communicate and openly express his emotions.
In contrast, a man who is brushing you off will avoid any situation that is inconvenient for him.
Taking a long time to respond to your texts or calls
It's unrealistic to expect your partner to reply to texts immediately
This implies that he needs space to attend to his relationships with friends, family, work, or studies (depending on his age). Hence, it's normal and healthy for him not to always respond immediately.
When does it become a concern? It becomes an issue when he consistently takes an excessive amount of time to reply.
Another warning sign is the alternating pattern of him being highly responsive and answering promptly, followed by prolonged periods of sluggishness in conversations. These types of individuals can be described as "yo-yo guys," present one moment when it suits them, and absent the next.
When patterns such as these emerge, it's a sign that he is disregarding you.
Only flirting with you or reaching out to you first when he's been drinking/late at night
Here is a major warning sign to take note of.
If he never appears to want to talk to you when he's sober or during daylight hours, it's a clear indication that something is not right. Similarly, if he only wants to engage in deep conversations after consuming alcohol, it's a sign that should not be ignored.
In simpler terms, this means that he is opposed to the notion of being committed to you when he is thinking clearly. Only having these conversations when he is less in control of himself indicates that he is not very invested in the relationship.
If he is only reaching out to you during late hours, it's a clear indication that he views you as a casual encounter. If that is acceptable to you, then that may be fine. However, if you are seeking a more serious commitment, then you should recognize this behavior as a sign that he is not serious about the relationship.
DON'T FORGET YOUR OWN VALUE
So, you have identified the indications that he is disregarding you. What's the next step?
Before sending him a message, take a moment to truly appreciate yourself. You are a special and one-of-a-kind individual.
If one person in the entire world does not value you, someone else will eventually. The chances are in your favor in this regard.
While it's much easier said than done, don't allow one person to bring you down permanently. Take some time to process your emotions and heal.
It's perfectly fine if you require time to recover and heal.
Once you have regained your confidence, start putting yourself out there again. You may be pleasantly surprised by what you discover.
However, never forget your own worth, and don't settle for something less just because it's convenient.
WHAT TO TEXT A GUY WHO KEEPS BLOWING YOU OFF
Let him reach out to you himself
Eventually, you need to stop putting in all the effort if he is not willing to contribute equally. That's the bottom line - relationships require effort and dedication from both parties.
You can't bear all the burden alone. If he is not providing support, then unfortunately, he may not have a strong connection with you.
There could be many reasons for this situation, such as him being overwhelmed, playing games with you, or even being interested in someone else.
Regardless of the reason, take a step back and allow yourself to heal. Demonstrate to him that you won't plead for his attention by requiring him to contribute equally.
By making him pursue you, you communicate to him that your time is valuable and he must work to earn it. He may be drawn to your confidence and work harder to regain your affection.
Do you want to know the key to making him constantly want to pursue you?
We assumed as much. Relationship expert Amy North has developed her Text Chemistry program aimed at teaching women the techniques required to attract any man through texting alone.
Tell him how it makes you feel
This does not imply sending him an irate text or leaving him a furious voicemail, as satisfying as that might feel. Instead, it means being truthful with him about the pain he is causing you.
It's important to approach the conversation in a calm and collected manner. Avoid using an aggressive tone, as it might cause him to go into defensive mode, making it less likely for him to listen to your concerns and understand the impact of his actions.
Maintain a level-headed and composed approach when expressing your feelings to him in your text. Avoid using all caps as it can come across as yelling, refrain from using insults or swear words, and do not resort to name-calling. Simply state your emotions and inform him that his actions are not favorable.
"Hi, I wanted to express my concern about the frequent cancellations of our plans. It's not making me feel good and I would appreciate it if you could be straightforward with me, instead of giving me false explanations, so I can use my time effectively."
Make it clear you're moving on
At some point, you need to move on. You can only tolerate someone's behavior for so long before you realize that they no longer bring anything positive to your life.
Before making any drastic decisions, give yourself time to calm down and reflect on the situation. Take a deep breath and clear your mind for a moment.
It's important to keep your emotions in check before texting him, as texting in a fit of anger may not lead to a positive outcome. You don't want to appear as the aggressor and risk damaging the relationship even further. Take a step back, calm down, and approach the situation with a clear and level head.
Instead, keep your message neutral and calm. Avoid using all caps or resorting to name-calling or insulting language. The goal is to communicate your feelings in a mature and respectful way, not to attack or hurt the other person.
Once you've had time to calm down, communicate your decision to end things with him in a clear and composed manner. Avoid sending a barrage of angry texts or lashing out with insults, as this will only detract from your message and make you appear immature. Instead, take the high road and express your feelings in a respectful manner. This will show that you have dignity and self-respect, and you will feel proud of yourself in the end.
And that's okay. It's time to move on and find someone who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve. Don't waste your time on someone who is not a good fit for you. Your happily ever after is out there waiting for you.
"It has been enjoyable getting to know you, however, I feel we have reached the end of our interaction. I sincerely wish you success and happiness in all your future endeavors."
Call him out on it
To be frank, this approach carries a bit more uncertainty compared to solely relying on your emotions. However, if you prefer a straightforward approach, you can choose to omit the emotional aspect and directly convey to him that disregarding others is not a positive behavior for anyone.
If you present your message to him effectively, in a manner that doesn't make him feel accused, he may be more receptive to your advice. This could potentially stop him from repeating the same behavior towards others in the future.
"Hello. I felt compelled to bring to your attention that constantly canceling plans or ignoring people is disrespectful."
STOP HIM FROM EVER WANTING TO BLOW YOU OFF AGAIN
It's important to note that the world we live in is not solely composed of absolutes, there exists a multitude of nuances and subtleties in between the binary of black and white.
It's possible that when a man disregards you, it may not be solely his fault. There might have been actions on your part that contributed to the disconnection. This could range from exhibiting clingy behavior to pushing for a commitment before he was prepared.
It's possible to engage in these behaviors unconsciously. However, the silver lining is that by utilizing resources such as Amy North's Text Chemistry program, you can acquire the skills to text effectively, ensuring that he will not distance himself from you again.