Are you contemplating what might follow after having slept with this guy?
In brief, communication is the key. It's up to both of you to determine your next steps, and effective communication will help you navigate from Point A to Point B.
If you're unsure about what message to send a guy after being intimate with him, we'll provide you with several options, so you don't have to worry about what to say next.
However, before you begin composing that text, there is one crucial step you must take.
STEP ONE: DEFINE YOUR EXPECTATIONS
The initial thing you must determine is what you want. Just like you wouldn't embark on a journey without first determining your destination, relationships work in a similar way.
Your relationship can take one of three primary paths from this point:
Casual/Friends-with-benefits Relationship
Committed/Romantic Relationship
Rejection or Staying Platonic
Casual or friends-with-benefits relationships:
A major misconception that is often perpetuated is that women solely desire long-term relationships culminating in marriage.
It's clear that this is not an accurate reflection of reality.
Women have their own needs and desires, and there is nothing inherently wrong with pursuing the satisfaction of those physical needs.
If you're seeking a casual connection, it's important to communicate this to your partner. Avoid engaging in overly emotional discussions that suggest you're seeking a long-term commitment.
You can certainly send him seductive selfies and alluring descriptions of everything you desire to do with him (and vice versa). However, as with anything, it's important to exercise some restraint to avoid appearing too readily available.
By occasionally creating some distance, you can cultivate an aura of intrigue that will leave him longing for more of your attention.
Committed and romantic relationships:
If you're searching for a long-term commitment, things become a bit more complex. Entering into a relationship is akin to a dance that necessitates careful consideration and coordination from all parties involved.
You wouldn't want to get caught up in too many overtly sexual discussions, as it might convey the impression that you can be used for easy sexual gratification whenever he desires.
However, you also don't want to pressure him into discussions about emotions or dating right off the bat. It's important to exercise some restraint in this regard, as being too forward may drive him away.
Similar to casual relationships, it's best not to appear too readily available to him. Avoid responding to his messages too quickly and make sure to take time for yourself, or else the thrill of the chase will be lost for him.
What if you want to reject him after sleeping with him?
Here's another fact that isn't always acknowledged: sleeping with a guy doesn't necessarily have to signify anything more significant.
You are under no obligation to continue hooking up with him or date him after having slept with him. In fact, it's perfectly acceptable to not desire anything beyond the one-time encounter.
However, it's crucial to be honest with him about your intentions. We understand that this can be challenging and uncomfortable.
Likewise, you wouldn't appreciate it if someone toyed with your emotions. By being truthful with him, you can avoid playing with his emotions.
WHAT TO TEXT A GUY AFTER SLEEPING WITH HIM
The basic checkup text
Asking a simple "how are you" question is one of the simplest and most effective ways to start a conversation with someone.
We realize it might sound unexciting, but trust us on this.
These types of texts are ideal when you're unsure of what else to say. They won't come across as if you're pressuring him into a relationship or being overly attached.
It's a simple way to start a conversation, allowing you to assess his response and interpret his tone as you chat.
Examples
"Hello, how are you?"
"What are your plans for today?"
"How was your day?"
"How are you feeling today?"
Flirt with him
If you feel yourself developing feelings for him but aren't ready to share all of these emotions just yet, this is what you should consider doing.
Sending him playful, enjoyable, and flirtatious messages is a surefire way to make him smile when he sees them on his phone, whether he's at work or spending time with his friends.
However, be mindful not to go overboard with the flirting. While it's crucial to show him your attraction, you also don't want to push him away.
Examples
Send him a corny pickup line.
Share a cute selfie of yourself with a beautiful smile or while doing something enjoyable.
"You've been on my mind a lot today."
"I'm surprised by how much I'm missing you already." (Note: Use this message with caution and only if he has already displayed romantic interest.)
Ask him out on a date
While it may appear extreme, if you have feelings for him, there's no reason not to ask him out.
Take our suggestion to heart, and refrain from appearing overly attached or anxious by arranging plans for the near future.
Additionally, avoid making him feel as though you're attempting to pressure him into a commitment he may not be prepared for. If he hasn't yet indicated a desire for commitment, plan a pleasant, relaxed date centered on his interests.
In other words, avoid making it a formal occasion at a high-end restaurant.
Examples
"I have an extra ticket to this show next weekend. Would you like to come with me?"
"I bet you a dinner that I can beat you at insert name of the video game he plays."
Tease the @!#$ out of him
Send him teasing messages that hint at sexual topics without being too explicit. This will pique his interest without making it too straightforward.
Most importantly, keep it playful and flirty. He'll be curious about your intentions, and you can expect him to respond eagerly to your messages until he finds out.
Looking to intensify the teasing? Send him messages like these during his workday.
He'll spend the rest of his shift gazing at the clock, eagerly anticipating the moment when he can see you again.
Examples
"I've been having some intriguing daydreams about you all day while at work."
"Your thoughts keep crossing my mind, making it difficult for me to focus on what I'm doing."
"I have a strong feeling that you'll appear in my dreams later tonight."
If you're looking for ways to ignite passion in him through your texts, we recommend checking out Amy North's Text Chemistry course. With its proven techniques and expert advice, you'll have all the information and tips you need to make any guy obsessed with you.
Stroke his ego (and maybe something else if he's in the mood)
Compliments are generally appreciated, and guys particularly enjoy receiving positive feedback on their bedroom skills.
To make him feel good, acknowledge something he did right that night. You don't have to go overboard (as it might seem insincere), but simply mention something that you can't stop thinking about.
An added bonus is that he'll now be aware of how much you enjoyed it, which may encourage him to do it again and again if you choose to sleep with him in the future.
Examples
"I can't stop replaying the moment when you something he did in my head, over and over again..."
"That was amazing! Where did you learn to do that?"
"The way you use your lips is constantly on my mind, I can't stop daydreaming about it."
Boldly tell him you're ready for an encore
Certain guys may be oblivious, so you may need to be direct with them and spell out what you want.
If your goal is to continue hooking up with him, it's not difficult to get more action even from the most clueless guy. Simply tell him that you want him back in your bed, and show him your go-getter attitude. This can impress and amaze him.
Nevertheless, it's important to limit these types of texts a bit. You don't want to give the impression that you're hanging on his every word.
Once more, avoid appearing too available. Maintaining a bit of distance can work wonders and prevent him from losing interest in you.
Examples
"How about touching this again?" - accompanied by a provocative picture of yourself.
"I haven't even revealed my best tricks to you yet. Do you want to come over to my bed again, so I can demonstrate properly? ;)"
"I just can't seem to get enough of you..."
Reject him as nicely as possible
If you didn't feel any chemistry or you're not interested in hooking up again, it's important to be honest with him about it. Don't lead him on.
However, this doesn't mean you should be overly harsh with him. Unless he repeatedly fails to understand your hints, it's best to tell him as gently as possible that you're not interested.
When the guy in question is a friend, this becomes even more crucial. The wrong words could potentially harm your friendship irreparably.
Examples
"I need to be honest with you. Even though I enjoyed being with you last night, I don't see any romantic or sexual future between us."
"I'm truly sorry if you feel differently, but I want to be clear that I think it's best if we remain just friends."
Don't text him at all
If you're not interested in seeing him again, or you're anticipating his text, it's most effective to use a silent approach.
It's important to note that this method comes with a downside: there's a possibility that he won't text you back at all, which is obviously not the result you want if you're interested in him.
The advantage of this strategy is that it could potentially increase his interest in pursuing you, as you're presenting yourself as a challenge. It's human nature to desire things that are not easily obtainable, which is why refraining from texting him first can be both risky and rewarding.
WHAT NOT TO TEXT HIM AFTER SLEEPING WITH HIM
Don't confess your love to him or anything else overly emotional
For numerous women, sex can be an intense encounter. The discharge of chemicals and hormones in our bodies during intimacy can be alluring.
You may feel compelled to persuade him into a relationship afterwards. It's effortless to get carried away by emotions and be enticed to send him a long love message via text.
Our recommendation is to take a step back and give yourself some space if you're experiencing these emotions. It's possible that he may not have assigned the same significance to the sexual encounter as you did, and approaching him with intense feelings could stifle the start of an otherwise promising relationship.
Avoid forcing him to define your relationship or to make a commitment
After sex, you might be enticed to initiate the typical "what are we" conversation. You may desire him to express his feelings explicitly or feel an urgency to persuade him to commit to a formal relationship immediately.
One word of advice: avoid it. Let these subjects arise organically and handle them with prudence.
Just like you require time to process your thoughts, he also needs his own time and space. Nonetheless, if he initiates the conversation first, or invites you out on another date, you can consider exploring the prospect of a relationship in the future.
Stop yourself from sending him strings of texts in a row
When we derive pleasure from being with someone, we desire to receive communication from them frequently. However, an excessive amount of communication can result in the enchantment between us diminishing.
It's important to allow him some personal space. Despite your desire to receive a response from him or maintain an ongoing conversation to prevent the connection from fizzling out, suffocating him will only push him away.
Limit yourself to sending a single text at a time, and permit him to reply when he has the opportunity to do so.
Trust us when we advise that allowing some breathing space in the relationship will ultimately bring you greater happiness.
Concerned that he might suddenly stop responding to you? Check out our guide on what to text a guy after being ghosted.
Also, slow down the texting a bit
Following a pleasant time spent together, it's normal to feel an increased desire to communicate with him. However, don't let that lead to appearing desperate.
Similar to refraining from sending him multiple consecutive texts, avoid portraying yourself as "too available" or eagerly awaiting his every word.
Take a moment to unwind and decompress before replying to any of his texts. Even if you're simply spending time at home and indulging in a new show, taking a breather will enable you to compose a thoughtful response and demonstrate that you have a life beyond him.
