As you prepare for a romantic rendezvous with the man of your dreams, your phone suddenly starts ringing.
Upon checking your phone, you come across a message from your dream guy informing you that he has canceled the planned date.
Does this sound familiar to you?
We understand the pain and frustration that comes with having our eagerly anticipated plans fall apart for any reason.
This is especially true for dates, where you put in the effort to look your best and build up your anticipation. When he cancels on you, regardless of the reason (even if it's a legitimate emergency), it can make him seem inconsiderate and thoughtless.
What should you say to him in response? Should you lash out with a scathing reply or simply ignore him?
Definitely not! Let us guide you on the appropriate response.
BUT FIRST, STEP BACK AND COOL OFF
If you had developed a strong emotional connection with him, the sudden cancellation of the date through a text message is likely to be a painful blow.
This is not an ideal state of mind to respond from, as you run the risk of losing control and sending an impulsive message that could drive him away.
Even if you have decided that you no longer wish to pursue a relationship with him, it is important to remember that you are deserving of more than a fleeting moment of satisfaction from venting your frustration at him. Before responding, take a few moments to calm yourself and collect your thoughts.
Take a moment to grab a drink, step outside for some fresh air, or vent to a friend via text. These small actions can help dissipate some of the pent-up frustration.
RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO DO THESE THINGS
Once you've regained a sense of composure, you're ready to respond to his message.
When crafting your response, it's important to keep in mind certain things to avoid, even if they may seem tempting in the moment.
Here are a few things you should steer clear of:
Angrily rant at him
While it's acceptable to express your disappointment or frustration, it's important to keep your messages as composed as possible.
Getting angry will only drain your energy and cause him to become defensive. If he feels attacked, he won't be receptive to what you have to say and will instead focus on protecting himself.
Additionally, if he had a legitimate reason for canceling the date, such as a medical emergency, reacting with anger will only make you come across as unreasonable, not him.
Insult him
It might bring you temporary relief to insult him, harshly judge him, or swear at him, but that surge of adrenaline from the argument won't sustain you for long.
Once it's over, you'll likely feel mostly ashamed. And if he had a valid reason for canceling on you, those feelings will only intensify.
Additionally, if there was any possibility of a relationship, your outburst will likely have turned him off permanently.
Make him jealous
Steer clear of trying to make him jealous by saying you have another date or that you'll have a great time without him. It's a trap to avoid.
Such behavior is petty and beneath you. You can mention that you have other plans, but keep it brief and simple.
Omit the specifics and let him speculate about your activities. It's his loss to miss out.
WHAT TO TEXT A GUY AFTER HE CANCELS A DATE
If he had a valid reason for canceling, be understanding
Whether we like it or not, unexpected events do occur. If he's faced with an emergency, such as a medical issue or pressing family matter, recognizing that it was beyond his control demonstrates that you are an understanding person.
Your maturity and confident demeanor will be irresistible to him, and he will be drawn to you like a bee to honey.
Surprisingly, this can also be a valuable chance for you. Demonstrate to him that you don't necessarily require him to have a good time, by making alternative plans instead of the date.
If you are considering rescheduling, don't rush to arrange a new date immediately. Take some time between the canceled date and the rescheduled one, even if you have no plans in between.
Why is this advisable?
This will give the impression that you have a busy schedule, and he will feel the need to appreciate and earn each moment spent with you.
Example: "Hi, I completely understand. Thanks for keeping me informed. I have some commitments for the rest of the week, but I have time this weekend if you'd like to get together then."
You deserve an explanation if he didn't give you any reason at all, so ask him for one
Did he just send you a text saying he needs to cancel the date without any reason given?
It's understandable that you feel frustrated by this. Planning a date takes effort, and as women, we often put in a lot of time getting ready for it.
Your efforts shouldn't be for nothing, and if he has only sent you a vague text about canceling, it's justified to ask him for clarification.
It's possible that something unfortunate may have occurred, and this is an opportunity to express your concern and ensure that he is well. However, don't be overly demanding - he will be more willing to be candid with you if you approach the matter in a gentle and friendly manner.
Example: "I completely understand. Can you share with me what's happening? Are you okay?"
If you want to avoid future cancellations, Amy North's "Text Chemistry Course" is highly recommended. Her advice will help you tap into a level of desire in him that is unmatched.
Is there a pattern of him flaking out on you?
If this isn't the first time he has canceled on you for a date, you may want to reevaluate the situation and consider if it's worth continuing the relationship. If you feel like this behavior is unacceptable and you've communicated that to him without any improvement, it may be best to move on and find someone who respects your time and effort.
It's important to consider if you want to try to reschedule the date or move on from him. Repeated cancellations are a red flag and could indicate deeper issues in the relationship. Before making any decisions, assess the situation and weigh your options.
By continuously forgiving his actions, you risk letting him believe that it's okay to treat you with disrespect and take advantage of your kindness. It's important to assert yourself and communicate that such behavior is unacceptable. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. Don't let anyone treat you like a doormat.
Take a step back and assert yourself in a firm but respectful manner. Let him know that his repeated cancellations are not acceptable, but avoid using aggressive language or insults. Your message should convey your disappointment without being confrontational. You deserve to be treated with respect and consideration. State your disappointment in a concise and polite manner, allowing your words to effectively convey your message without coming across as aggressive. A well-crafted message can lead him to feel remorseful and make amends, without resorting to insults or raised voices.
Examples:
"Thank you for the update. Wishing you well!"
"I understand that unexpected events can arise, but it can be disappointing when plans are repeatedly changed at the last minute. In the future, could you please provide more notice so I have the opportunity to make alternate arrangements as well?"
