What To Text A Guy After Exchanging Numbers (To Draw Him In)

Taking the first step is often the most challenging.

Dating can often be a similar experience. Securing a man's phone number can bring a sense of accomplishment, but it can also leave one feeling uncertain about the next step.

Of course, you'll want to text him, but the question remains, what should you write?

Let's explore this subject in greater detail. This guide will provide you with several options for what to text a man after obtaining his phone number.


How soon should you text him after getting his number?

A common question that arises after obtaining a man's phone number is how long one should wait before texting him.

Sending a message too quickly can be an error as it can make you seem overly eager to reconnect with him.

However, delaying for too long can also be problematic as it can give the impression of disinterest. If there's too much time between obtaining his number and texting him, he may even forget that he gave you his information.

The key is to find the ideal balance for that initial text.

Our recommendation is to wait a short period of time, such as an hour or two, before sending a text. This allows you to still be top of mind for him.

You don't have to initiate a full-fledged conversation at that time. Simply sending a message to let him know it's you can suffice, so he can save your contact information if he hasn't already.

What should you avoid doing in the beginning?

Along with considering what to write in your first message to him, it's also important to be mindful of what not to do. An incorrect approach could easily turn him off.

It's best to avoid being overly effusive in your first message. While expressing your admiration for his appearance or excitement about texting him may be tempting, it's advisable to keep that first message a bit more subdued.

By doing so, you'll come across as less easily swayed and he'll have the opportunity to pursue you further.

Avoid bombarding him with multiple texts in quick succession during the initial stages. Your first impression through text only happens once.

Sending multiple consecutive texts sends the message that you are overly clingy or expect an immediate response, which is not the best way to make a positive first impression.


Give him a basic introductory text

A straightforward text that simply says "Hey, it's [your name]" may not be very original, but sometimes the basics are all that's needed.

Choosing such a text is a safe and low-risk option. It avoids the risk of a joke falling flat, avoiding the appearance of being overly flirtatious, and keeping the tone comfortable for both parties.

The downside to this approach is that it may come across as lacking excitement. If you're seeking a way to make a lasting impression, this option may not be the best choice.

Example: "Hey, it's [your name]. We met at [where you met]."

Make a splash in his contacts list with a dash of humor

Making him laugh from the belly or even just eliciting a smile from him is an effective way to leave a lasting impression that he won't forget for years to come.

Sending a humorous first text can help you show off your sense of humor from the start. If your humor hits the mark, you'll have made a positive first impression by putting a smile on his face.

By showing your sense of humor, he'll see you as a lively and fun person who won't bore him with dull dates.

So, how do you get started with a joke in your first text?

We recommend tapping into his interests, such as sports or games, or even referencing the circumstances under which you met, to create a joke.

Example: "Hey, it's your name! Remember me from the game? I think I just hit a home run by getting your number! 😉" or "Hey, it's me! So, should we start brainstorming a story to tell our parents about how we met? 😂" (If you met on a dating app and don't want to admit it, this could be a good joke to make).

Have him guess who you are

Worried that he might just be using you for a good time?

You can gauge whether he may be a "player" by sending a playful text asking him to guess who you are. This will give you an indication of his memory and interest in you, while still maintaining a fun and lighthearted tone.

If he has been handing out his phone number frequently or receiving many numbers recently, it may be difficult for him to recall who you are. Conversely, if he instantly recognizes you, then your chances of making a connection with him are good.

Example: "I'll provide you with three opportunities to identify the person. ;)"

Concerned about facing competition from other females? By employing effective texting techniques, you can guarantee that you stay at the forefront of his thoughts.

When seeking to enhance our texting skills, we rely on relationship expert Amy North's Text Chemistry program. She can assist you in achieving the same result, so that any rival you may have becomes a distant recollection for him...if he ever contemplates anyone else.

Continue your last conversation

Did your last conversation come to a halt as you traded phone numbers, be it through an application or face-to-face?

As a last resort, you can simply send a text to his phone number and continue the conversation from where it was interrupted. This approach is particularly effective if the conversation was one that both of you were deeply engaged in and you're eager to learn more.

For added certainty, include your name in the text, so that he can identify you if he doesn't already have your phone number saved.

Example: "It's your name. I wanted to follow up on what you said about the ending of Game of Thrones... can you explain why you disliked it so much?"

Begin with a random conversation starter

Although this method may entail some level of risk, it is your most suitable choice when you aim to keep the conversation interesting and say something that is beyond ordinary.

Send him a text with a thought-provoking question or an icebreaker. If you're unsure of what to message him, consider referring to our guide on conversation topics to text a guy.

We highly suggest using a question as your icebreaker. This will increase the likelihood of him answering, as questions are generally easier to respond to.

Furthermore, by posing a question to him, you communicate your interest in him and his opinions.

Example: "If you could possess any superpower, which one would you choose and why?"

Ask him out on a date

Since you've already exchanged phone numbers, it's evident that there is a mutual attraction between you. Why not seize this chance to meet him in person and determine the level of chemistry you both have?

This is particularly crucial if you met him in real life, as you would like to spend some time alone with him. If you met through an online platform, it may not be as easy to ask him out on a date right away, and that's understandable.

However, if you do feel confident, by asking him out on a date, you'll display a bold and assertive personality that is bound to catch him off guard.

Example: "Hi, it's your name. I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation the other night. Would you like to grab a coffee and continue our chat in person?"


Texting has become a ubiquitous mode of communication. Given that much of our interaction takes place via text message, it's crucial to be skilled in texting, otherwise, you may risk being left behind.

The significance of your texting proficiency and the level of pressure it carries may not become fully apparent until you have something valuable at stake, such as a potential relationship. Under these circumstances, having the ability to communicate effectively through text becomes even more imperative.

If you lack confidence in your texting skills, there's no need to worry. You can always enhance them by seeking guidance from experts or resources that can teach you how to captivate him through your text messages.

One highly regarded option is the Text Chemistry program created by relationship coach Amy North. It has proven to be an effective tool for numerous women, providing them with the skills to elevate their texting game and secure a relationship.