If you’re not having much luck in the dating game, then this advice might be for you. The first date is always a little awkward. You’re getting to know the person and you may feel uncomfortable at times. While this is normal, there are some clear “don’ts” that can turn any date into a bad time immediately. If you’re not having any second dates, check and see if any of the following applies to you.
1. Being too familiar
While it’s not a bad thing to have some intimacy on the first date, this is really the best time to just get to know your date. Don’t be too hands-on and instead give your date personal space. The best time to initiate some physical contact is towards the end of the date if things have gone well, but even then, don’t go overboard. This can come off as creepy on a first date.
2. Discussing your exes
Sure, we all have a history, but it’s better to share this later on after you’ve gotten to know each other. If you talk about your ex, your current date is going to think you haven’t moved on. Who really wants to date someone who’s still pining for the one that got away? Nobody, that’s who. So, although it might be tempting to vent, try not to bring this topic up. If your date asks, keep your answers brief and vague. This will demonstrate that you’re not still interested in the past.
3. Drinking too much
Everyone gets a little nervous on a first date, so it’s not a bad thing to order a drink, but stop at one or two at the most. You’re going to find that drinking too much on a first date makes a bad impression and can change your personality. You’re going to stay in control if you’re sober throughout the date, so cut yourself off. Make each drink last and it may be best not to order a drink if your date doesn’t want one.
4. Not planning ahead
It’s never a good sign when you haven’t made plans for the evening. You may have made a plan to go to a restaurant, but did you take the time to make a reservation? Being stuck with nowhere to go and nothing to do may seem like fun, but it isn’t going to make your date feel special. Make sure to have concrete plans and you may even want to have a backup plan just in case. This shows your date that you care enough to think ahead.
5. Thinking it’s a standup performance
Most dates are more fun when you have a good sense of humor, but you also want to maintain some seriousness. It’s not a bad idea to tell a joke or to be able to laugh at yourself, but don’t spend the entire evening trying to make your date laugh. You’ll be able to tell pretty quick if your date isn’t feeling the fun.
These are a few things you shouldn’t do if you want a second date. Not every date goes well, but by avoiding these common mistakes, you’re more likely to turn the first date into a second one.