Upon my initial encounter with him, I was immediately struck by the desire to kiss him. However, upon further investigation, I realized that he was not inclined towards kissing, which left me feeling confused and questioning the validity of such a preference. Despite this unusual aspect of our relationship, we continued to date for several months, resulting in one of the strangest relationships I have ever experienced.
1. I'm a big kisser and had no idea there are people who aren't into it
My affection for kissing was so profound that I had never fully comprehended how much I would yearn for it when it was absent from a relationship until I met him. Unfortunately, he didn't share the same enthusiasm and only engaged in it occasionally with minimal effort. In contrast, I could kiss for hours purely for the pleasure of it, without it necessarily leading to anything more.
2. I rate guys according to their kissing skills
The saying "It's in his kiss" is undeniably true. For me, kissing has always been a litmus test to determine if the man I'm seeing is a good match. It reveals our chemistry, connection, and the potential for great sex. However, this became a challenge with this particular individual as he wasn't particularly skilled in the art of kissing, making it difficult to assess our compatibility.
3. We kissed the fun goodbye
Our relationship lacked a certain level of enjoyment due to the absence of kissing. I frequently found myself wanting to engage in passionate kisses with him, but he would often only give me a quick peck before moving on to other activities, such as sex. This left me feeling unfulfilled and rejected on many occasions.
4. Kissing is a way to express myself
Kissing is more than just lips and tongues; it's a physical expression of love and desire. For me, it's an essential part of foreplay and a way to communicate my passion for my partner. This guy's reluctance to kiss made me feel neglected and unable to express myself physically, which was extremely frustrating.
5. We lost intimacy
Kissing is an incredibly intimate act, and in my opinion, one of the most intimate things that couples can do. Without it, a significant portion of our intimacy was lost, as well as the fun. During sex, although it was enjoyable, the lack of kissing made it feel less intimate and less fulfilling. Our sexual encounters always felt somewhat off.
6. I wondered many times if it was me
I began to worry that my partner wasn't interested in kissing me because I wasn't appealing enough. I started investigating by checking my breath (which was fresh) and even tried improving my kissing technique by reading up on men's preferred styles. It was hard to accept that he simply wasn't into kissing because every other man I had dated before had enjoyed it.
7. He gave me the kiss of death
I attempted my newly acquired kissing styles on him, but they didn't seem to have the desired effect. Although he appeared slightly interested, I could sense that he simply wasn't into kissing in general. When I questioned him about it, he explained that it was similar to one's preference for anal or oral sex. Some people like it, while others don't, and he happened to be one of those who didn't like kissing. Although it made sense, it still felt as though we were on completely different wavelengths.
8. Our relationship temperature started to drop
Kissing plays a vital role in a relationship for a reason. According to research, it elevates dopamine levels that trigger cravings and desires, serotonin levels that uplift moods and create obsessive thoughts about one's partner, and oxytocin levels that enhance attachment between individuals, which is why oxytocin is known as the "love hormone." Without kissing, we missed out on all of these benefits, and our relationship began to feel distant and unemotional.
9. I realized how useful kissing is
Not having any kissing sessions in our relationship made me appreciate the various roles kissing has played in my past relationships. Kissing has been a means to provide comfort to my partner, increase sexual pleasure, express affection and love, and feel emotionally connected with my partner. It's evident that kissing is much more than just pressing lips together!
10. The "no kiss" rule was a red flag
Although the lack of kissing wasn't a significant issue for him, it affected me profoundly. It made me feel like there was an underlying problem in our relationship that went beyond our lack of intimacy. Kissing helps create emotional connections, and without it, our relationship was lacking something fundamental. It became apparent that our relationship might face problems in the future if we continued without emotional intimacy. Without the emotional connection that kissing creates, what did we have that was special? Nothing.
11. It was a huge dealbreaker for me
Although he was a good person, I couldn't fathom the idea of being in a relationship with limited kissing. He deemed my feelings as silly, but to me, kissing is a significant expression of love. It was important to me, and therefore, not silly at all. I require a sense of love and affection, and kissing plays a critical role in demonstrating that.
12. I felt guilty, but why should I suffer?
I realized that continuing to date him would make me unhappy because a full relationship, with all its perks including kissing, was important to me. Sex alone couldn't fulfill my need for intimacy. It became clear that he needed to find a woman who shared his disinterest in kissing so that they both could be happy.
13. They always say it's in his kiss, but…
Honestly, dating a guy who wasn't into kissing made me realize how important kissing is to me. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't share that same passion for kissing. From now on, I won't settle for a relationship without kissing.