When the concept of swingers comes to mind, one may imagine wild parties in the 1970s, where couples dropped keys into a bowl and engaged in sexual activities with one another while under the influence of LSD. However, swinging remains a popular alternative lifestyle in the 21st century. If you are curious about swinging and considering trying it, what exactly is it, and what do you need to know?
Swinging is not widely practiced in the United States, with only a small percentage of people, approximately 2.35%, identifying as swingers, and about 2.5 million couples engaging in swinging regularly, according to a 2018 study published in the journal Sexualities. However, the low number could be attributed to a lack of knowledge about the practice. This is where we can help.
What Is Swinging? What Does A Swinger Do?
Swinging is a sexual activity that involves engaging in sexual acts with people outside of one's primary relationship, often involving group sex. This usually entails swapping sexual partners on a regular basis, which can occur at dedicated swinger parties or organically with another interested couple. Essentially, swinging involves having sex with other couples while maintaining a primary relationship.
A swinger is an individual who regularly engages in swinging with their partner and considers it a preferred lifestyle. Swingers often make these non-monogamous encounters a regular occurrence, attending events and hooking up with other couples on a monthly or weekly basis.
How Does Swinging Differ From Polyamory?
Polyamory involves having multiple romantic partners simultaneously, while swinging is a sexual activity that does not involve romantic relationships outside of sexual encounters. When participating in swinging, individuals have sex with others, but the relationship remains purely sexual.
Who Can Be A Swinger?
Swinging is a consensual activity open to anyone who wishes to participate. However, it is important to seek information and guidance from someone experienced in the swinging community rather than starting solely due to external influences or media portrayal. It is crucial to ensure that you are emotionally, mentally, and sexually secure and self-actualized before engaging in swinging.
Why Do People Enjoy Swinging?
There are numerous reasons why people choose to swing, and motivations can differ from person to person. Some view it as a contemporary way to explore sexual pleasure without limiting themselves to one partner. If you are in the early stages of a relationship or open to sexual experimentation, swinging may hold a particular appeal. However, it's worth noting that swinging is typically a lifestyle rather than a temporary phase for many individuals. It requires maturity, and consent, respect, and tolerance are essential values within the community.
What Are The Signs Of Swinging Or A Swinger?
There are many popular cultural myths and misconceptions about swingers. However, discretion is crucial when engaging in swinging. As a result, various signals or symbols have emerged within the community to indicate openness to such activities. These include wearing anklets, toe rings, thumb rings, switching wedding rings to the right hand, or wearing clothing with pineapple patterns (according to NY Post).
Is Swinging Healthy For Marriage?
Although swinging may have negative effects on some relationships, it can have a positive impact on others. For some couples, engaging in swinging can inject new energy into their relationship and reinforce their connection. This is because monogamy can be challenging for many, as meeting all of a partner's needs can be nearly impossible. The pressure is often reduced when a couple explores swinging.
If jealousy is present in your relationship and trust between partners is not absolute, then swinging may not be the right lifestyle choice for you.
Things To Consider Before Trying The Swinging Lifestyle
It might not be for you
While we may aspire to be sexually adventurous and open-minded, it may not come naturally to all of us. However, by trying new experiences, we can gain insight into ourselves and our desires. If swinging is not for you, that's perfectly fine. Don't worry about "failing." Even if you don't continue with swinging in the long term, you will have learned something about yourself in the process. Non-monogamy does not equate to a lack of commitment, but it can be a significant change, so be prepared for that.
You have to remain open-minded
While it's helpful to do some research and connect with non-monogamous communities, it's important not to let assumptions or preconceptions influence your experience. Instead, be open to the experience and allow it to unfold naturally. Trust the guidance of experienced individuals within the community to help shape your experience.
You'll gain superior communication skills
People in polyamorous relationships or throuples often have excellent communication skills compared to those in more traditional straight relationships. Through these alternative relationships, individuals learn how to manage their time effectively, be truthful about their needs, and be less sensitive about others' emotions. Unlike traditional relationships, swingers establish clear rules and boundaries before engaging in sexual activities, promoting open and honest communication.
More Things To Consider
Swinging is a judgment-free zone
As you embark on your swinging journey, you may find that you become more open-minded and respectful of different sexual preferences and desires. Learning about others' kinks, boundaries, and fantasies can expand your own sexual horizons and increase your tolerance. This can lead to a more sexually positive and accepting attitude, which is valuable for personal growth and the wider community.
You can be open with your friends
Through exploring different options in your sexual journey, you have the chance to break the stigma that swinging sometimes carries and spread a message of tolerance and sexual experimentation. If some friends can't support you, it's better to let them go as this is about self-exploration for you.
