No matter how much an empath may be in love with their narcissistic partner, an empath and a narcissist in a relationship are some of the most toxic situations you will find.
There is a common misconception that Empaths are weak, too soft for their own good, or victims of their own kindness. In truth, this isn't how it is at all. Empaths are strong, resilient individuals but who also happen to be highly sensitive to the feelings and emotions of others. Empaths have enormous compassion and understanding for others and they are extremely humble people; this can be mistaken for weakness. Empaths do, however, need to know how to protect themselves and learn when to say no to helping others. Most importantly, how to create healthy boundaries and put their own needs before that of others. If these essential things are not in place, when a narcissist enters the picture, "victims" is precisely what they will become.
Empaths are natural healers and hate to see someone in pain, and they usually go out of their way to help people in need. They are deeply compassionate people that are naturally drawn to the damaged narcissist and their troubles. With the ability to feel underlying emotions, an empath can see the unhappy soul living within the narcissist. On discovering this, the empaths' instinctive response is to try to help, heal, and love them. While on the other hand, the narcissist isn't interested in healing, the narcissist wants to manipulate, belittle, and control.
What Happens When An Empath Loves A Narcissist. Below Is A List Of Things To Be Aware Of:
1: Empaths love to give love
They love nothing more than to help someone feel "complete" again. And this leads to the problems, the more love an empath gives and devotes to the narcissist, the more of themselves they give away. This, however, only hands over more significant power to the narcissist, helping them gain more control over the empath.
2: The narcissist leads the empath to believe the relationship is going well
The narcissist does this by continually showering them with love. At the start of the relationship, they put the empath on a pedestal. All this is being done to knock you off of the pedestal when they feel like it. Then they will build you up again, only to tear you down as soon as they see fit. In reality, what's happening is they are looking for constant validation of your love for them.
3: The narcissist creates a false sense of comfort for the empath
They are giving the empath a strong sense of connection with this person, even if they have done nothing to reassure the empath that their feelings are right.
4: After a while, "gaslighting" happens, every time without fail!
A narcissist's number one tool to make an empath start questioning and doubting themselves is to use phrases such as: "You imagine it," "You're crazy," "You're overreacting," "You're too sensitive," all common phrases that start to affect an empath's mental stability. With an empath having a strong intuition, this can be very confusing as they begin to doubt themselves and their "gut" instinct. This is a dangerous tactic for anyone to use; trusting our instinct and gut feelings on things is our way of protecting ourselves from danger. If this becomes damaged and we no longer trust ourselves, we could end up in the wrong situations, having not listened to our inner gut feeling.
5: Gaslighting is controlling for a narcissist
After constant gaslighting the narcissist has set the victim up to now doubt themselves. This then leads the victim to turn to their abuser for clarity and begin to rely on their abuser's version of reality. They no longer trust themselves and doubt their own reality. They start to feel like it's all their fault. Something must be wrong with them and they trust the narcissist further.
6: Many empaths suffer severe depression and anxiety
After all of these constant manipulation tactics and control mechanisms, many empaths find themselves falling into depression, or they start to suffer from anxiety. This only helps strengthen the empaths' feelings that they "need" the narcissist to feel ok. They pull back from friends and family, and the narcissist becomes their world.
7: Narcissists take away any joy an empath used to have
Narcissists can take an empath from the joys and normality they once had in their lives, to a very dark place. In this place, feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy are normal daily life, because everything you do is in some way wrong. It can be very debilitating for the empath, as they no longer recognize themselves.
8: The empath will, at some point in the relationship reach their breaking point
The person they once were is now a distant memory, and their friends and family no longer recognize them. They, more often than not, have lost contact with friends. Again this reinforces the narcissist's control over them, as they are the only one remaining in their lives
9: Arguments in the relationship will start to appear between the empath and the narcissist
It's evitable; the empath will begin to take on the traits of their partner. The empath starts to realize that their needs are not being met and they begin to show signs and actions that say "my needs matter too." But to the narcissist, they see this as selfish behavior. To the narcissist, the world revolves around them, and all that matters is their needs and wants.
10: After the relationship ends (It Will!), both the empath and the narcissist carry on suffering
The narcissist will pick up someone else for another equally toxic relationship. The empath has to build themselves and come out of a dark place of low self-esteem and unworthiness, guilt, shame, and no confidence. This can take the empath a very long time to recover from. Emotional and mental abuse can have a massive effect on people. Not many understand that the damage emotional and psychological abuse can cause can take the victim years to overcome and to feel worthy again.