Going no contact with your ex-partner is a crucial step in moving on from a breakup, but it can also be an isolating and painful experience. It's natural to wonder if your ex is feeling the same way you are and if they are missing you too. However, breaking the no-contact rule is not the solution. Instead, here are some insights into what might be going through a man's mind during no contact.
1. He's Angry
Right after the breakup, a man may be filled with intense emotions and a defensive attitude. He may welcome no contact because he believes that it will make you regret your decision and come back to him. Rather than acknowledging his own feelings of vulnerability, he channels them into anger and blame towards you for the relationship's failure.
2. He's Confused
When a man is told that communication has to stop, he may not comprehend why it's necessary. He may assume that if you both could just talk things out, you could sort out your issues and move forward. He may perceive you as being difficult and consider breaking the no-contact rule to express this, which could result in an angry message being sent to you.
3. He Misses You
Sooner or later, his anger and contempt will wear off. It's not possible to sustain such emotions for an extended period, particularly when they conceal the pain. Your absence will become apparent, and he will feel the weight of how much he misses you. This phase will make him aloof and contemplative, and he will notice how you are no longer a part of his everyday life.
4. He Wonders What You're Thinking
This period of contemplation will spark his curiosity about you. He will worry that you are not as affected by the breakup as he is, otherwise, you would have already broken the no-contact rule. He convinces himself that you never cared as deeply about him as he did for you. He questions his worthiness and envisions you with a better partner.
5. He Is Stubborn
He channels his feelings of rejection into a decision: he will not break the no-contact rule first. He assures himself that you will be the one to give in. His self-doubt morphs into defiance. He is exhausted from having his emotions linked to you. He deceives himself into thinking that he has moved on while you are still heartbroken over him. He believes that you will contact him soon, and he needs this to be true to continue functioning.
6. He Thinks You'll Get Over It
Gradually, his resentment towards you will fade away, and his fiery emotions will dissipate. In its place, he will believe that you will eventually come back to him. His thoughts of you are no longer hostile, and he reminisces about the times when you apologized for hurting his feelings. He envisions himself taking the high road and forgiving you for the pain you caused him.
7. He Regrets The Breakup
As the days pass without an apology from you, he starts to reflect on things objectively. He recognizes the part he played in the relationship's failure and criticizes himself for it. He regrets his actions and wishes he could do things differently to achieve a different outcome. He wonders how he could have gotten it so wrong and whether you hold him responsible.
8. He Is Determined To Win You Back
His remorse transforms into a sense of purpose, and he is prepared to apologize for his mistakes. He visualizes what a second chance would entail for your relationship and believes that breaking up was a mistake. He intends to respect the no-contact rule but is eager to demonstrate that things will be different this time.
9. He Thinks You've Moved On
The longer you go without communicating with each other, the more you will doubt the other person's mental state. You both might think that the other has already moved on long before they actually have. But this realization is the initial step for both of you to finally move on from the breakup. Once he comes to terms with losing you, he will let go, and once you accept that he has probably moved on, you will as well.
10. He Thinks Of You Fondly
When you and your ex successfully adhere to the no-contact rule for at least 30 days, you will most likely end up feeling like old friends rather than sworn enemies. This doesn't imply that you should rush to each other's side as soon as the specified time has passed, but being able to navigate through all the emotional turmoil of a breakup without causing each other pain will allow you to fondly remember your relationship and each other.