Old norms are slowly becoming extinct. Similarly, dating has become more of casual activity. It’s no secret that people are looking less for long-term romantic relationships and more for hookups and flings.
The word “hook up” has a variety of meanings. And it is a debatable subject since everyone has different opinions and beliefs on intimacy. However, hookups or casual sex is any sexual encounter without any promises of a serious relationship.
Besides, casual sex doesn’t necessarily have to be with a “random” but can also be with friends (FWB) and familiar acquaintances. For instance; ex-partners, or colleagues. However, is casual sex good? Or is it a bad idea?
The Benefits Of Hookups
Hookup culture couldn’t be so popular if it is such a “bad” thing. It must have some positives. Right?
Lust is the main motivator for hookups. Thus, people who practice casual sex usually have a renewed sense of confidence since they feel desired and wanted.
Hookup encounters also make you less nervous because squeamishness subsides every time you strip down. Consequently, you don’t worry about what your partner will think about your “abs” or breast size.
Moreover, hookups provide a variety of options. That is, from the momma’s boy to the overachiever. The nice guy to the douche. In other words, we get to see it all.
2. Explore And Experiment
Casual sex is sort of a trial and error technique. Consequently, people confused about their sexuality have the chance to experiment. Eventually, people realize their sexual orientation and preferences.
Moreover, different sexual experiences allow you to discover new arousal techniques and tricks. Subsequently, you identify what turns you on and what doesn’t, including what you’d want in a partner if you’d ever want to settle down.
Besides, hookups are fun, spontaneous, and enjoyable since their main motivator is sexual gratification.
In a twist, hookups are empowering to women. That is, women can concentrate on their goals as well as further their careers instead of focusing on time-consuming responsibilities—for instance, marriage and children.
Secondly, hookups allow women to learn how to separate their emotions and feelings from sexual encounters. Since to be candid, intimacy makes women easily attached even though casual hookups have a no-strings-attached policy.
Also, feminism, coupled with hookup culture, has played a major role in liberating women. This is by redefining women’s role in sex. In other words, women should not justify their choices in regards to men or sexual preferences to anybody- Period.
The Cons Of Hookups
Hookups are fun and exciting for a moment. However, the aftermath is often an unspoken truth:
1. Emotional Damage
Firstly, women are more likely to regret hookups and feel “used.” However, some men occasionally lament the sexual attractiveness of their hookup partners. That is, whether they’re attractive or not. Annoying, right? But hey. No-strings-attached, remember?
Besides, women are judged. Or even labeled for having sexual encounters with multiple people while men are admired and applauded. Ah, the double standards.
Secondly, sex often feels safer and more meaningful when you’re intimate with one person. Similarly, casual sex seems morally wrong. Plus, some people often describe feelings of shame and lack of self-worth after a hookup.
Frankly, casual sex comes with a mismatch of expectations and reality. That is, hookups require no commitment and feelings. But we all know that someone is bound to catch feelings and get attached.
Subsequently, the attached person becomes confused and begins to wonder; Are we seeing other people? Are we exclusive? Does he like me?
Moreover, intimacy greatly affects women compared to men. Consequently, some women become “obsessed” even after a single intimate encounter. The anxiety and hurt later come when the guy doesn’t want to give any affirmations or public acknowledgment.
3. Health Risks
Although casual sex is often spontaneous, it doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be safe sex. You need to be extra careful if you’re having casual sex. Therefore, pay attention to; contraceptives, condoms, birth control, and others.
You can still get infected with multiple STDs while in a committed relationship. However, STDs are less common in monogamous relationships compared to casual hookups.
Importantly, you should consider getting tested every month. Also, avoid having random hookups without discussing sex history with your partner(s).
A hookup culture is a frowned upon topic by society. It has also received a lot of backlash from the older generations as they prefer traditional dating.
Romantic relationships, however, are sometimes overwhelming. They need an insane amount of effort and time to maintain. Not to mention you need to cater to another’s needs on top of your own.
Let’s be real for you to pursue casual hookups over romantic relationships. You must have a reason. Therefore, casual sex isn’t something to be ashamed of. And the debate of whether hookups are right or wrong is beside the point.
Lastly, I must add that you need to be open and honest about your intentions to your partner(s) if you’re only interested in casual hookups. Having your partner’s consent eliminates any confusion and ensures that you’re both on the same page.