Cutting off a family member is hard as hell. But sometimes, it has to be done because you have exhausted all your options.

The day I cut off a toxic family member who was making my life a living hell, I understood these things.

1. In this life, some people will misunderstand you and tell you family is very important even though it is the very thing ruining your life.

2. Although you decided to end things, they gave you no other option. It’s on them, not you. 

3. You don’t deserve to endure senseless pain from anyone, even if you share the same DNA.

4. No one should ever treat you like crap.

5. Family members will sometimes give you the worst treatment you can get in this world.

6. You should never let guilt stand in your way, you made the right call even if it was unthinkable to take that action.

7. Cutting off someone from your life will also make other people disappear from your life, especially those closer to them than you. But you have to accept that.

8. It’s okay to let go of toxic people, despite how long you have known each other and how closely you are related.

9. You can love someone and expect nothing from them.

10. Even though ending the relationship was the best option you had and would do it again, the experience will still hurt, especially if you have known each other for a long time.

11. It’s not selfish to do what’s best for you. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

12. Just because they are family, it does not give them a right to treat you like crap.

13. Don’t think they would have changed their ways if given the chance. That perspective keeps toxic people in many people’s lives. 

14. You are not a bad person because you cut off a toxic person from your life. Yes, even if they are flesh and blood.

15. You were not selfish for doing what was best for you by getting rid of a person who made your life worse.

16. Things will get better because you will get through the harrowing experience of dropping a family member from your life and find something better to take up the position they took.

17. Even if you miss them terribly, you have to remain strong and avoid the temptation to reboot the relationship. Otherwise, if you do, you will end up right where you started.

Every experience in this life comes with some important lessons. I’ll be honest, deciding that someone you are related to is no longer suitable for you is a toughie. But sometimes, you have to embrace the hard truth, and above are the lessons I picked up after making this decision.