Most people immediately think of faithfulness when they think of commitment. And it’s understandable. To a degree, commitment really is about faithfulness. You decide to be with that one person, give them your whole heart. It should be just them and no one else.
But the fact is, being faithful is easy. At least it should be, especially if you are with someone you love. You don’t even have to do anything, just love your partner and only them.
However, commitment means so much more.
When you commit to a person, you have to have faith in that person. You have to believe in them. Believe that they won’t harm you and that they can do so much with their life.
Your faith in them will turn out to be the best force of growth for them.
But remember, commitment goes both ways. They should have faith in you too, and provide you with the support you need to be your best self.
Making an Effort
One of the most important things you have to do in a committed relationship is to make an effort. But this time, not in looking nice and portraying a perfect image of yourself. Now, you have to make an effort to keep the relationship healthy and going.
This will sometimes mean simply spending more time together. On other occasions, it may mean making a good compromise.
But most times, it’ll mean solving problems instead of pushing them away.
You have to just be there for that person, and that person has to be there for you. You have to be friends above all. Listen to each other, be each other’s shoulder to cry on.
Of course, always make sure this is not just one-sided. Both of you need to feel safe in your relationship. Safe and loved. Both of you have to put in equal amounts of effort, not just you or just them.
When you find your perfect person, you’ll realize that it’s not as smooth and easy as movies will have you believing. It’s much harder, but much more beautiful as well.
Be each other’s most reliable person, someone they can always turn to, no matter what.
Be a Team
Commitment means being together against the world. When you commit to that person, you have to be their rock and they have to be a rock for you.
You have to be brave for each other and push each other further. You have to be the best person you can be.
And when it’s hard, you have to reassure each other, you have to be each other’s biggest fans. Give the support that comes from showing up, being there, cheering them on, listening and giving them freedom to grow.
When you make a commitment, you commit to making a life together. You commit to meeting each other’s families and spending time with them as well. You become a part of each other’s community.
You’ll have common friends, go out together on weekends, meet with people together. Spend time together, spend holidays together. Have hobbies in common, or show them your hobbies.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should turn into a mush of a couple with a single personality. This means that you have to be you when you are with them. Give them access to all of the parts of your personality.
One of the biggest elements of a committed relationship is having that trust. Trusting them with your heart, with your secrets, with your faith.
This means letting them see your darkest corners and showing them your full self, knowing that they won’t judge you, hurt you, criticize or leave you.
Most of all, commitment is all about love. Loving someone enough and showing them that love.