What A Narcissist Does At The End Of A Relationship
Published in Oct 2020 / Updated in Aug 2021
Although narcissists don’t know the first thing about creating a healthy relationship, they can’t live without one. That makes the moment towards the end of a relationship a desperate one for these folks. So, here’s what a narcissist does at the end of a relationship.
The only time the end of a relationship with someone with a narcissistic personality disorder might go smoothly is when they decide to leave you for another person because you are too big of a liability, such as when you fall sick.
But that’s rare because a narcissist never seeks a partner. What they want the most is a willing victim, and those aren’t exactly easy to come by or create out of normal folk.
Whatever the case, at the end of a relationship, here’s what a narcissist will do.
1. They Will Blame You
No relationship ends because your narcissistic partner was to blame. They are always perfect. It’s the other person who is usually the problem.
Even when leaving you because you have lost your job or prestige, they will make sure you know it was your fault they left.
The relationship is ending because you did something wrong. And this can include anything from not listening to what they tell you that you are not good enough for them.
But in one way or another, a narcissist could not stand you. Heck, a narcissist can end the relationship because you outshine them. But it will still be your fault.
You can change from being a perfect partner, the person put on a pedestal, to being the most hated person in their life within a day.
For this reason, breakups with narcissists can be upsetting and confusing. But accept one thing: nothing about narcissists is fair. And not even begging profusely for forgiveness and reconciliation will help when a narcissist decides it’s time to end things.
2. They Will Want You To Suffer
How does a narcissist react when they can’t control you, and you try to get away? For one, they will want you to suffer.
To them, you are a terrible human being who deserves nothing good because you did not realize how good they were for you. You did not appreciate all they did for you.
The narcissist will want to punish you for that, and to their minds, you will totally deserve the punishment.
The punishment will start with incessant insults about your personality, behavior, appearance, and what you do.
You will be made to believe that you are nothing more than garbage.
Even if you have been together for many years and stood by this person through the worst crises in their lives, they will go to any lengths to make you suffer for breaking up with them.
Even if you had children together and don’t really want to live with them, they can insist on taking them away from you as long as it makes you suffer. Other things narcissists go for to make you suffer include properties, pets, and even businesses you had together.
In short, this person will do all it takes to make sure you get no joy from your life ever again.
3. You Will Be Ignored And Cut Off
If you wonder what it takes to break a narcissists’ heart, it’s simple: ignore them. A narcissist feels worthless without attention, whether positive or negative.
The person will then try to respond to this treatment by ignoring you and cutting you off from their lives.
This does not always work because they might not have enough narcissistic supply, which they can’t do without.
In such scenarios, you might notice a familiar, narcissistic relationship pattern whereby the person tries to shower you with love and admiration to win you back.
As much as this person would want to punish you by ignoring you, they love the attention they get from you or any other victims in their lives even more.
So, although the narcissist might ignore you completely right now, they can come back pretending that you mean the world to them the next minute. Don’t fall for it; the person simply couldn’t find another victim, and they want you to take on that role in the meantime.
Think about it: what does a narcissist want in a relationship? It’s simple: attention and total control over their subjects.
4. They Will Make Demands For Attention
The only person a narcissist truly cares about is himself or herself. Even when the relationship is clearly ending, this person will do all they can to get your attention and keep you close.
When you ignore a narcissist, they will be desperate enough to demand your attention.
The end of a relationship feels like rejection to a narcissist, and that is something they hate. It is a serious blow to who they think they are and their egos.
Narcissists hate being alone, almost as much as they hate losing a good source of narcissistic supply. Even when a narcissist breaks up with you, it’s a terrible burden for them, although they will make sure you feel like it was all your fault the relationship ended.
In short, breakups with narcissists are never amicable. There is always some mess to deal with, and you should brace yourself for that. The biggest mistake you can make is to fall for their manipulative love bombs and go back to them.
The toxic relationship will only get worse, and you will suffer much more at their hands, especially for trying to get away from their vicious grasp.