“We’ve Been Living A Lie”—Man’s Rant Against “Trash” Boneless Chicken Wings Goes Viral
Published in Feb 2021 / Updated in Aug 2021
Did you know that boneless chicken wings are a very pressing issue in the country? A Nebraskan man recently decided to address this issue.
Ander Christensen stood in front of the City Council in Lincoln, Nebraska, to help address the boneless chicken wings crisis.
You could argue that we have more serious issues to worry about today, but once you hear what Ander has to say, you will realize that boneless chicken wings are a problem that we need to solve as soon as possible.
Boneless chicken wings are a beloved appetizer today, but in a now viral rant, Ander had this to say:
“I go into nice family restaurants and see people throwing this name around and pretending as though everything is just fine. I’m talking about boneless chicken wings.”
As far as Ander is concerned, these massive pieces of chicken should not be regarded as “wings.” This is all a scam to get us to buy something that doesn’t even exist.
Ander has had it; and he will not sit around and watch as fellow countrymen get exploited.
He had a great proposal:
“I propose that we as a city remove the name boneless wings from our menus and from our hearts.”
Luckily, Ander went to the trouble of explaining why boneless chicken wings needed to be done away with as soon as possible.
He gladly offered his reasons for making this shocking proposal:
“These are our reasons why: Number one, nothing about boneless chicken wings actually come from the wing of a chicken. We would be disgusted if a butcher was mislabeling their cuts of meats, but then we go around pretending as though the breast of a chicken is its wing?”
Ander had more to say:
“Number two: Boneless chicken wings are just chicken tenders, which are already boneless. I don’t go to order boneless tacos. I don’t go and order boneless club sandwiches. I don’t ask for boneless auto repair. It’s just what’s expected.”
So, What Does Ander Think They Should Be Called?
He proposed that they rename the boneless chicken wings in the city of Lincoln:
“We can call them Buffalo-style chicken tenders. We can call them wet tenders. We can call them saucy nugs or trash. We can take these steps and show the country where we stand and that we understand we’ve been living a lie for far too long, and we know it in our bones.”
Surprisingly, after these words, Ander found a lot of supporters.
If you are not a fan of boneless chicken wings, then you might not be Ander’s audience. However, you have to admit that the man has a point.
At the very least, you can respect his point of view.
However, in the broader scheme of things, the city of Lincoln has bigger things to worry about. Rather than trying to make sweeping changes to its menus, they could try and address the fact that the Lincoln City Council is facing accusations of censoring Black Lives Matter activists.