Dating apps have a whole new lexicon for online interactions.
We live in an age of read receipts, what appears to be socially acceptable on-line stalking and dating apps, a new lingo has become the norm and it’s downright confusing for some of us.
We all seem to be aware of the term Ghosting, you know when you ignore all their messages and pretend they no longer exist.
Then comes the term Ghostbusting when you make them reply to you by sending so many messages they reply even if to tell you to fuck off, but you busted their ghosting. Not cool, don’t harass people!
The play on a classic character by Charles Dickens Mr Marley is novel (pun intended), where the phrase Marleying is used in reference to hearing from an ex out of nowhere when the Christmas season hits. Yes, those exes do appear on the apps much to our horror.
Breadcrumbing is where they have no intention of getting into a serious relationship but leading someone on to think that you are.
Submarining, a form of ghosting, it’s when someone disappears for weeks to only then message as if there has been no lapse in time with the communication.
Another term used is Shaveducking, it’s where the guys worry that they are only attracting certain women due to their beards.
Sidebarring, the worst one on an actual date, is where they message friends and keep checking their phone, or communicating using an app. It seems they are only interested in talking to others.
Caspering is one of the more well-known dating expressions. We all remember the friendly ghost, don’t we? Always sweet and kind. Caspering is the friendlier version of ghosting. You don’t ignore them, but you do all you can to let them down gently before removing yourself from their lives, for example saying, “You’re great, but there just isn’t that spark between us. I hope you can understand that I don’t feel it is in either of our interests to continue seeing each other.”
Dating these days is a challenge for most, and we rely on apps way too much. Whatever happened to going out and meeting new people in bars?
Sunday Night Fever, Sunday evening is one of the busiest times on dating apps. It does tend to be the least popular night of the week for social activity, most are chilling at home charging their batteries up for the week to come.
Men more than women tend to initiate a conversation; a woman’s inbox may find itself being filled up at a rapid pace on Sunday evenings.
A friend told me her dating app goes nuts from about 6 pm on Sunday’s and the messages are not very original. She gets “Hey, how are you?” “Hey, how’s your Sunday?” Or worse the unwelcome dick pic with a “let’s fuck.”
Will men ever grow out of sending ‘those’ pics?
Freeclimbing, to be honest I hadn’t heard of this one, but it’s when you decide on potentially meeting up with someone and you go on that all-important but dangerous fact-finding mission. First you Google their name, and a ridiculous amount of info based on that name comes up, that you end up using reverse image check to find the right person. You find out so much info that you wonder whether a date is a good idea or not. Nothing is private anymore, if you put it on the internet it’s there forever.
If you do decide to go on the date, it works out well and you end up following them on Instagram, or Linkedin, and add them on Facebook, then the pitfalls begin. You scroll their profile looking way back and that damn finger seems to have a life of its own and likes shit from years ago, oops!
Printing, Freeclimbing is one thing, but oh boy Printing is a whole new place to go and it can go wrong with genuinely horrifying results.
Printing is when you go deep into someone’s life and they find that you have been checking out their education credentials and even their finances. If you discover that being done to you, go ghost! It’s not getting to know you, it is getting to assess whether you’re a viable financial target.
Sexting the waters. This one is obvious what they want. They try, badly, a soft approach asking things such as “Where are you?” “What you are doing?” “What does your room look like?” They may try and up the approach and initiate an exchange of pictures, yeah “those” pictures.
Once that hits into play what you do next is a game-changer. You either go with the flow if you’re happy to do what they want or put your thoughts and feelings right out there at them with a bold NO! If they push you know exactly where you stand with them and simply call them out on their shit behavior. Then go ghost!
I think I’ll stick to the usual lingo thanks, it’s clear, precise and in my comfort zone.