First of all, let's agree that no form of abuse is acceptable in a relationship. However, when we talk about spousal abuse, most people think about physical abuse because the bruises are visible and the scars are out there for everyone to see.
But abuse can be emotional, and this form of abuse is in some ways much more psychologically damaging.
Emotional abuse is unfortunate, unacceptable, disgusting, harmful, and should not be tolerated by anyone. And yet, some people are suffering in silence at the hands of their abusive partners.
The problem with this pain is that nobody might see what's going on. After all, there is no physical proof of the harm, although the person feels worthless and hurt.
Emotional abuse progresses gradually, and it gets worse over time.
And since few people outside the relationship can recognize it, your best option is to identify it yourself so you can work on healing yourself and stopping the abuse.
Usually, abusers who go after your emotional health don't seem like abusers. That's the problem.
They know how to play the victim, feign innocence, and manipulate. More often than not, you will recognize their abuse through blatant double standards such as these.
1. Demands To Know Of Your Whereabouts, But Won't Tell Of Theirs
With this person, you always have to seek permission or explain where you are. Failure to do so results in a big explosive reaction.
What will make things worse is trying to find out where they were. It will be like the most inappropriate question you ever asked.
The point is, you will always be unaware of their whereabouts, and questions about this will be extremely unwelcome.
2. Their Demands For Sex Are Urgent, But Your Requests Don't Matter
When this person is in the mood, everything has to stop, so their needs are met. It does not matter if you are in the mood or not.
On the day you try to do the same, your needs will be pushed aside.
3. They Can Criticize All Day Long, But Won't Take Any Criticism
This person will be perfectly fine raining criticism on you over trivial and even nonexistent things. But try to turn the tables on them, and you will discover their true colors.
The person will throw a tantrum and handle the criticism very badly.
In fact, you might be afraid for your life when you say something negative about them and it pisses them off.
4. They Mistreat And Then Blame You For It
When something goes wrong, and it's their fault, they will make you feel bad for it and make it seem like it's all your fault.
This person will tell you you are the reason they acted as they did. For this reason, your life will always be unpredictable around them because you will never know what will set them off.
5. No Care For You, But You Are Always Expected To Care
When this person is making you feel like crap, it does not bother them at all. They can say whatever hurtful thing they can think of with no shred of guilt.
However, when you try to do the same, you can count on having a terrible day, thanks to them.
You are expected to pay attention to all their needs, while pushing yours to the background.
6. They Call All The Shots, And Will Not Listen To Any Of Your Suggestions
This partner will want you to know that they always know what to say or do. And so, they make all the decisions and expect you to be fine with it.
When you try to do the same, they ignore you or oppose you at all costs to make sure your plans will never prevail.
And that, folks, is how emotional abuse happens through blatant double-standards. Just for the record, you should never put up with this behavior: you deserve better.