Breakup

Want To Get Over Someone Faster? Don't Sleep With Them — Sex Changes Everything

In today's culture, sex is often treated casually, but it holds immense power. We may not fully acknowledge its impact, as breakups can be particularly difficult when there has been sexual intimacy involved. This is not to suggest that sex should be avoided altogether, but rather that we might benefit from approaching it with more thoughtfulness and caution.

1. Something happens when you have sex

The phrase "je ne sais quoi" in French translates to "I don't know," but it conveys a sense of enchanting mystery. Similarly, sex is a profoundly powerful experience that defies explanation. While science can account for the biological and chemical factors at play, sex often carries a spiritual dimension that touches all humans deeply. It's a mystery that cannot be fully explained or understood, even by those who experience it firsthand.

2. There's an exchange of energy

Sex creates a strong connection between individuals due to the intense emotional and energetic exchange that occurs. This is facilitated by the release of oxytocin, commonly known as the "love hormone," which encourages bonding and attachment. According to a website, sexual activity triggers neurochemical changes in both partners' brains that foster emotional bonding through the limbic system. However, this also implies that casual sex might not work for most individuals at a holistic level, as it does not foster the same level of limbic bonding. Ultimately, sex has the power to alter us on a chemical level.

3. Holding off from sex means giving space to feel things out

It's not uncommon to date someone for a brief period, only to discover that the relationship isn't a good fit. This is due to the complexity of compatibility, which requires time to develop. In such cases, it's beneficial to avoid engaging in sexual activity while you're still getting to know one another. This allows you to take things slow and give yourselves space to explore your feelings and compatibility before diving into the intense experience of sex.

4. A breakup hurts like hell if you've slept together

Have you ever gone through the heartbreak of ending a relationship with someone you've been intimate with? While this can be expected in long-term relationships, it doesn't have to be the case in shorter-term ones. If you engage in sexual activity early on and the relationship doesn't work out, it can lead to significant pain and anguish. Breakups that involve sex can be particularly painful and emotionally charged.

5. It's not always a science, though; it's anecdotal

While there may not be scientific evidence to support the notion that breakups hurt more when sex hasn't been involved, it's a sentiment that many women and mental health professionals have expressed. Personal experiences and observations suggest that this could indeed be a common occurrence, even if it's not universal.

6. I'm not saying never have sex

Sex is a beautiful and necessary aspect of being human, and it's natural to desire it. However, I suggest considering delaying sexual activity at the start of a relationship. Instead, it's beneficial to wait until you're in a committed relationship where you feel that you truly know each other before engaging in sexual activity.

7. The hurt is pretty much inevitable in LTRs

It's almost inevitable to engage in sexual activity when you're in a long-term relationship, and this is perfectly natural and acceptable. If the relationship ends, the breakup is bound to be difficult, but it's a part of the process that cannot be avoided. In such cases, it's important to allow yourself to feel the pain and take time to heal from the experience.

8. It might just be good to wait/go slow

According to research, when a couple expresses their love and commitment before engaging in sexual activity, it can enhance the relationship by increasing understanding, trust, commitment, and a sense of security. However, if sexual activity occurs before a bond and commitment have been established, it can have negative consequences. That's why it's important to take things slow, get to know each other, and avoid rushing into sex.

9. Then moving on takes less time

While this observation may not be supported by scientific evidence, it's based on personal experience and anecdotal evidence. In my own experience, moving on from a breakup with someone you haven't slept with seems to take less time, perhaps even half or a third of the time it would take otherwise. The absence of sexual intimacy could be a factor in this, but it's difficult to say for sure.