Until I'm Married, I Consider Myself Totally Single

In the past, I used to boast about having a boyfriend like a prize I had won. But now, I've changed my attitude and tell people that I'm single, even if I have someone who could be considered a boyfriend. I've come to the realization that I consider myself single until I'm married, and I have no regrets about my decision.

1. When I Was Loyal To Guys, I Never Received The Level Of Commitment I Wanted

I came to the conclusion that it wasn't worth it. When I was exclusive with men, they never seemed to want to take things to the next level. I was always the one waiting for something more, and eventually, that became too much for me. Most of the guys I meet don't seem interested in marrying me, and it's frustrating to keep giving so much of myself away without any guarantee of commitment.

2. Guys Tend To Be Nicer To Me When They Realize That They're Not The Only One In The Picture

Perhaps it's the competition aspect, or maybe it's because they know I have other options, but I can't help but notice that men are kinder to me now than they were when I cared about loyalty. It's unfortunate that it had to come to this, but it is what it is. If this is what it takes for men to learn how to treat people with respect, then so be it.

3. Remaining A Free Agent Lowered My Tolerance For Bad Behavior

Losing the "girlfriend" label makes it easier to say goodbye to a bad guy. It's easier to move on when you have other guys vying for your attention after you've ditched the one who wasn't worth it. Also, when you stop thinking of yourself as a girlfriend or a fiance, you stop seeing the potential in the relationship. This mindset helps you realize that there wasn't anything there to begin with, and you're not losing out on something better.

4. Refusing To Fully Commit To One Man Also Allows Me To Weigh The Pros And Cons Of Each

I used to struggle with leaving men who treated me poorly because I didn't know what a healthy relationship looked like. When you date multiple men, it's easier to see what behaviors are unacceptable and make a decision based on that. You can easily recognize what is out of line and choose whether to stay or leave based on that information.

5. I'm Not Cheating — The Men I'm With Know That The Only Way For Me To Be Exclusive Is With A Ring

The traditional rules of the game did not appeal to me, so I decided to modify them. I have no qualms about abandoning men who refuse to abide by my rules or who try to coerce me into following theirs. Given how poorly they have treated my loyalty in the past, it is difficult to believe that a man would ever be faithful.

6. As Bad As It Sounds, I Do Take A Lot Of Solace In Knowing There Are Others Who Would Kill To Have Me Be Loyal To Them

Men are drawn to having a side piece for a reason—it provides a sense of comfort to know that you are desired by more than one person. It is reassuring to have backups and, in a sense, to be in control of the relationship.

7. Since I've Started Dating This Way, I've Also Noticed That I'm Not A Doormat For Guys Anymore

I no longer feel the need to prove my worth to men by cooking for them, sleeping with them, or engaging in other such activities to persuade them to propose. Such behavior is exhausting, especially when repeated for multiple men. If they are unable to recognize the love and devotion I have to offer, then I do not wish to be with them.

8. I've Gotten The Feeling That Being Non-monogamous Makes Men Value Your Status More

When men realize that you are open to dating others, they understand that you have a life outside of them. This takes the pressure off of them and makes you appear slightly unattainable. Men appreciate a challenge and will often prioritize you because of it.

9. I'm Single Until Married Partly Because I've Had A Lot Of Abusive Relationships In The Past

Abusive relationships have a profound impact on your character. I have lost faith in love and men, so why should I believe that they will treat me with respect and fidelity? I am no longer willing to take a chance. I cannot trust men when they promise to be loyal to me, commit to me later, or assure me that they will not become violent. Dating multiple men until I am certain of their commitment is a safeguard for me.

10. All In All, I Think That The Right Guy (If There IS One) Will Marry Me Regardless Of This Rule

And if things do not work out, at least I will not have to endure the pain of a broken heart once again. That is one positive outcome.