When you get really lucky in love, you give your heart to someone and they give you all of theirs, and when you are unfortunate, you experience the heartbreaking nightmare called unrequited love. In this scenario, you give your heart, mind, and soul to another person and you get nothing but pain and frustration in return.
But although the other person clearly has no attachment to you, it does not make it easier for you to walk away from the relationship. You will still wonder if you can make the relationship work.
So, we will look at clear signs that your love is unrequited, and then look into what you can do about it.
Signs You Are Experiencing Unrequited Love
1. With Unrequited Love, You Will Always Be Anxious
Yes, you love the person with everything you have. But also, a part of you wishes to receive the same kind of love in return.
Because this latter need is not met, you will always feel anxious when you think about this person. In short, the person you love does not hold their end of the deal and love you as much as you love them.
So, you are always making all the effort to keep them in the relationship and make them happy.
That's bound to make you anxious. A relationship takes a lot of effort from a person, even when both partners are willing to do their part.
So, you are anxious that if you slack off a little, the whole thing will come tumbling down because you are the only one who cares.
2. You Overlook Too Many Of Their Flaws
Okay, nobody is perfect. And there is no point in trying to be.
However, loving partners want the best for each other and always try to be nice and beneficial to each other.
So, when your partner seems to get away with every awful thing they can do to you and you never kick up a fuss, chances are that you love them more than they love you.
If the love was mutual, you would have the confidence to call them out on their behavior. The reason you are afraid to tell them what they are doing is not right is that you are afraid that would jeopardize the relationship.
Deep down, you know you are the only person who really cares about the relationship. The other person wouldn't care less if it ended or not.
3. They Shamelessly Flirt With Other People
Although you try to avoid flirting with other people for the sake of your partner, as any decent partner should, your partner doesn't behave in a similar manner towards you.
The person openly flirts, and you can see that they are open to starting another relationship.
This either shows you are in love with a sleaze or someone who does not love you as much as you love them.
4. When You Give Unrequited Love, You Feel Alone Despite Being In A Relationship
When you are the only person who cares about the relationship, you will certainly feel alone. Otherwise, if you had someone you could count on, you would be feeling just fine.
This goes to show the person is emotionally unavailable, and that is one of the signs they don't have as much love for you as you have for them.
5. You Do Most Of The Giving
You have probably realized that you spend a lot of time on things that concern the person you love. Or maybe you spend more money on them.
But although they are in a position to return the gesture, they never give you as much of their time or resources.
That is a huge red flag that you are in love with someone who doesn't feel the same way about you.
6. You Always Do More
The saying goes that actions speak louder than words. And love is pretty loud, and it's because it speaks in actions.
When you love someone, you just don't say it, you show it.
And so, if you love someone and have proved it to them with all kinds of gestures and they give you no similar response, chances are that your love is unrequited.
This person will ignore your texts, emails, and everything else you try to do.
7. Something Feels Wrong
In a healthy relationship, everything feels right even when things are bad. The opposite is true of relationships where one partner is unloved.
Even when you are together with the person, you feel like there is something missing. You will certainly feel like you are never on the same page in the relationship.
While you can't wait to meet the person, you can see that they couldn't care less about your presence.
When you feel that the relationship should have made another step forward now, you still feel like your partner would not welcome the idea.
In short, you feel that something is not right, and it's absolutely true: something's wrong. The unpleasant emotions are coming out of nowhere.
8. It's Always Your Fault
People admit to wrongdoing, not usually because they are right or wrong, but often because they see a benefit to their gesture. For the sake of peace, people apologize.
And because someone feels bad for hurting someone they love, they will say they are sorry even if they didn't make the mistake.
But when someone does not give a damn, they won't apologize easily. If a person you love does this to you, chances are that they don't love you as much as you love them.
9. With Unrequited Love, The Person Ignores You
When you love someone and they have the same feelings towards you, you will make sure you give each other time. People who love each other cannot ignore each other and move on with their lives like nothing is wrong.
So, when someone you love can comfortably ignore you and go about their lives like you don't matter, then know that there is a big problem.
Although you cannot go for a couple of hours without thinking of them or trying to get in touch, this person can often spend days without answering your calls or texts.
10. They Avoid Physical Intimacy
Intimacy comes in many forms, and physical intimacy is what most people know about. But sex and physical intimacy are also two very different things.
So, when someone is comfortable having sex with you but has a problem with things like cuddling, kissing, prolonged eye contact, and so forth, then know that their love for you is not as strong as the love you have for them.
Some physical gestures make the bonds between us stronger. Therefore, when someone has no interest in being close to you, they will avoid such gestures.
What To Do When You Get Unrequited Love
1. Distance Yourself From The Target Of Your Unrequited Love
Many people let their unrequited love go on for longer than necessary. But that's a huge mistake because recovery will take much longer as well.
So, once you have confirmed you are in a situation where the love you feel is not being given back, getaway.
Put some space between you and the person. It will hurt at first, but that's the only way to move on.
This also means you should not stalk the person on social media. You can also avoid places they frequent to avoid getting into contact with them unexpectedly.
That's to keep the feelings you have for them from flooding back.
2. Be A Little More Persistent
Sometimes the person you love who does not show the same feelings towards you has no idea you really love them. Maybe they just came off a bad relationship, and they are not sure if what you are showing them is true love.
For this reason, they might not be responding to your subtle gestures of love. But by sticking it out and having a little more persistence, the person might understand you love them and realize they can love you.
However, don't count on persistence working. Sometimes the person knows you love them and ignores you, hoping you will get the hint and move on.
3. Put It All Out In The Open
Some people fear love, and even though they know they are loved and would like to love, they might not come out and say why they can't love you back.
Therefore, you can tell the person how you feel about them, and they might have the courage to say what is in their hearts. Regardless of whether they respond positively or negatively, you will understand if to move on or be a little more patient.
4. Even After Giving Unrequited Love, Forgive And Move On
Sometimes you might realize the person did not love you because they were selfish. This can hurt and you can feel used.
If that's the case, it's important not to hold a grudge. The best step forward is forgiving the person and moving on with your life.
5. Don't Take The Rejection Personally
I know it can really hurt to realize the person you loved and believed would love you back has no feelings for you. You can start wondering if something is wrong with you.
But you should never take it personally. Anyone who cannot appreciate your love and affection does not deserve it.
That is the only truth you need to accept.
6. Be Positive, Despite The Unrequited Love
So, you are sure that the relationship is not going anywhere? That sucks, but also, every cloud has a silver lining.
Know that there will be better days ahead, and they are worth waiting for.
7. Consider If You Are The Problem
Think back: do you have a problem of giving your love to people who never return the gesture? If so, you need to work on yourself and learn to get into healthy relationships.
8. Focus On The Future
When a relationship ends or fails to go your way, it does not mean you should slack off on your goals in life.
So, focus on your future and eventually, the great relationship you deserve will come your way.
9. Find Someone Else To Date
The reason you are having a hard time moving on from someone you love might be because you are not willing to start dating once more.
By meeting new people, you will clear your mind and have a better appreciation of what a healthy relationship should offer to both partners.
From there, you will not find it so challenging to move on from the person who doesn't seem to love and appreciate you as they should.
It will hurt to admit that someone you love with all your heart feels nothing for you. But in the end, accepting your misfortune is the first step towards recovery.
You will obviously need to get over your feelings for this person if it's clear they will never feel the same way towards you.
So, accept and take time to mend your broken heart. In the end, you will find someone who is worthy of your love, and you will get the love you desire in your life.
Loving someone with all your heart is one of the most fulfilling accomplishments you can have in this life. But when you give unrequited love, you can suffer the worst kind of frustration imaginable, and above are some tips to help you out if you are in this situation.