Here is a simple guide to insecurities commonly found in relationships. As most people know, there are many types of insecurities that can plague a romantic relationship and even derail it.
But first, what is insecurity?
Usually, insecurity is a feeling that someone else has something you should have or a feeling of inadequacy.
In romantic relationships, insecurities typically arise when you feel that your partner is giving something due to you to someone else. It could be affection, love, or even attention.
What causes insecurities?
Causes of insecurities in a relationship are quite varied, but they can be categorized into two broad categories: those originating from within, and those caused by external factors.
Sometimes, the reason you are feeling insecure has nothing to do with what your partner has done. But at other times, your partner will usually have done something to cause the insecurities you feel in your relationship.
Signs insecurities are affecting your relationship include relationship anxiety and communication breakdown. The effects of insecurities can be quite severe, and sometimes, relationships can come to a bitter end because of them.
That is why it's important to understand how to deal with insecurities in a relationship for the sake of its survival.
Learning how to feel more secure in your relationship is a very important skill, because insecurities come in many forms, and practically all relationships have them.
I believe that with this list of insecurities, you will be well on your way to making sure your relationship does not crumble over minor and easily avoidable issues.
1. Jealousy
Jealousy is very common in relationships.
You usually feel jealous about someone when you have doubts about your place in the relationship.
While it's reasonable not to expect the special attention and love your partner gives you to be shared with any other person, it's good to have justified concerns for your jealousy.
Otherwise, we are all obliged, as long as we are in exclusive relationships, to make sure that our partners can trust us.
Jealousy is the first sign that you might have serious trust issues in the relationship. Obviously, a relationship without trust cannot be expected to last long.
That said, there are those who are jealous of their partners because they are more accomplished than they are. If you have this form of jealousy, then your partner is not the problem – you are. You should be proud of your partner, even if they are more successful than you are.
Obviously, a reasonable and sensible partner would never use their success and ability to bring more resources into the relationship as a way to make their partners feel worse.
At the end of the day, jealousy is mostly a problem that has to be resolved by both partners.
2. Constant Demands For Validation
We get it. It's nice to be appreciated for what you do in a relationship. But when it gets to a point where you practically demand recognition for every small thing you do, then you are clearly insecure in that relationship.
One of the root causes of insecurity in this circumstance is low self-esteem.
When you feel unworthy, you tend to feel like everyone else in the world does as well. If you are always demanding validation from your partner, then you need to work on yourself. Otherwise, your partner might get tired of the incessant demands for validation and pack up and leave.
3. Clinginess
More often than not, this type of insecurity is caused by unresolved emotional baggage. Someone who is still reeling from abandonment issues after bad relationships in the past is more likely to be clingy.
If you have a problem, you can call your partner constantly, follow them everywhere, and become very intrusive and disruptive to their daily routines with your presence.
When you are clingy, your partner will usually feel smothered. You might also notice their attempts to get away or have some space.
In this case, assurances from your partner about your place in the relationship can help. But ultimately, you should have enough confidence and self-respect to avoid being clingy. Nobody can make this right except you.
4. Perfectionism
Some people are natural perfectionists, which is understandable. But others turned into perfectionists after horrible past experiences.
For instance, if your partner's past relationship ended because they felt they weren't trying hard enough, they might go over the top trying to make their current relationship perfect.
That can obviously bring a lot of pressure to the relationship because perfectionism comes with big expectations. Failure to make as much effort as they demand in order to meet these expectations can make the person anxious that you are not as serious about the relationship as they are, which might be the farthest thing from the truth.
Fear of failure and rejection is often the reason some people become perfectionists, and it's not usually healthy because no relationship is perfect.
5. Playing Mind Games
Someone with serious personal insecurities will often play games as a way to learn more about you and where they stand in the relationship. Nobody feels the need to play games when they are already confident and secure in the relationship.
People usually play games because they feel like they don't know their partners properly, or because they believe something is being hidden from them.
And that sums it up for us today.
As you can see, there are many signs of insecurity in a relationship. But the most important thing you can learn from the different types of insecurities is how to stop being insecure in your relationship.
Knowing the most common causes of insecurities and how to deal with them can help you maintain a healthier and happier relationship, which is what we all want.
A great way to overcome insecurities includes avoiding acting immediately on the feelings of insecurity, trying to relax after the tension caused by the insecurity, focusing on yourself, and trying to resolve the cause of insecurity logically.
