Trust Issues: How To Overcome This Negative, Paralyzing Emotion

Trust issues cause harm, destroy relationships, both on work and in our private lives. These issues don’t just weaken our relationships, but they negatively influence our reality and sense of self.

It’s a beautiful feeling to have someone to trust without any limits. But in the age of uncertainty, hypocrisy, and lies, fake news, and collapsed value and moral systems, it’s challenging to maintain strong relationships.

People have friends, family members, and partners to rely on and whom we can trust. But what happens when an event creates trust issues?

The inability to develop trust in relationships with others leads to feelings of isolation and disconnection from society. Often, it imitates depression, apathy, or a cynical attitude towards the world around us.

It’s eating up one’s soul since it’s associated with so many negative and no positive emotions.

What is a trust?

“If you ask me what is trust, I would ask you the same thing, what is a trust for you?”

The definition of trust begins in our inner feeling. Trust is sentiment. It includes emotions, perceptions, and attitudes.

Trust includes a sense of security and calm when we think of the relationship we have with a person. Additionally, it implies knowing that that person has values similar to ours and that the same things are important to them. It’s the absence of questions and doubts about that person.

Psychologists say, “to trust someone means to believe in their consistency and goodwill in activities and our ability to predict them based on previous shared experiences. The fact that we think that a person will behave following our expectations allows us to have a relationship with trust.”

With such an attitude, we feel much safer in relationships and free from the risk of being deceived. In contrast, without such an initial attitude, there’s no honest and strong relationship.

Developing emotion of trust

During the first years of life, we gain a basic sense of which people and situations we can or can’t trust. Psychologists are sure that the foundations of building trust in others are laid at an early age.

But, even if your issue didn’t start when you were a child, situations may trigger various responses. And these responses can lead to trust issues if not treated in a timely matter.

If parents are present in their children’s lives, care about them, pay attention to them, provide love and protection, and encourage them, children can develop confidence and trust, not only in others but also in themselves.

If we are critical of ourselves, then we are critical of others. It’s almost impossible to imagine someone not having bad experiences in life.

Some people will experience respond similarly to PTSD. These individuals will feel like they no longer know how to feel good about themselves.

We all get frustrated with parents, friends, colleagues at work or school, love partners. And we react differently to various situations. But when betrayal strikes, everything bad you ever felt about yourself gets ten times worse. Or at least it seems that way.

Neglect, overburdening, mobbing, distrust, lies, betrayal. All of that can significantly affect our trust because all these things are a perfect foundation for mistrust. And it coexists with other negative emotions, which slowly take over your whole existence. 

Trust in an intimate relationship

The lack of trust will surely destroy a relationship. The question is how to regain the trust of a partner or confidence in a relationship or marriage?

And then the questions begin to appear: How can I trust him/her again? How to retrieve the love and security of a partner? Was it something your partner said or did? Or your problems go back to your younger life?

But the basis is the same: trust issues! If you want an answer to the question: How important is trust in a relationship or marriage? The answer is straightforward: It is crucial!

Why would you be in a relationship with someone you don’t trust or who doesn’t trust you?

Don’t forget that every couple has issues in their relationships. It would help if you don’t leave them aside; find a solution together.

If your partner says something hurtful, draw their attention to it. If they say something in effect, try to solve it when the tensions calm down.

Continuous work on a relationship with joint effort and quality communication is a recipe for a healthy relationship. But remember that there’s no healthy, mature love without trust, honesty, and respect. It’s a package deal, and you deserve it.

Signs you may have trust issues

We all feel insecure from time to time, but the feeling doesn’t go away for many. Though people learn to live with it, it has a way of keeping a person from realizing the true potential.

Causes of insecurity can be negative experiences from childhood, frequent rejections, loneliness, social anxiety, negative opinion about yourself, parents, or a partner prone to criticism.

These are the most common factors that cause trust issues, combined with fears of betrayal and abandonment.

How can you overcome your trust issues?

To overcome insecurity and trust issues, psychologists advise you to give yourself time to adapt to new situations.

Go outside, enjoy what life has to offer. Be with family and friends you love. Talk to people you believe in and whose opinions matter.

Learning to trust again takes time and patience. Eventually, it all comes down to self-love, being comfortable with who you are. As well as teaching yourself to move beyond obstacles you created for whatever reason.

It takes time to forgive someone, and even more to yourself. It’s a process that requires mental and emotional strength and a deep awareness of the act itself.

Few can forgive easily and quickly. Most of us are stuck with fearful, agonizing emotion that’s caused by our trust issues.

The real lesson here is that we can’t predict life. And we can’t even predict our reaction. However, we can create a belief that we are more than capable of rising above any situation.