While it can be nice most of the time to feel like you have lots of people around you that care about you or follow you on social media, sometimes you can stop and look around and think, ‘what?’.
Who are these people? What are these relationships?
How many of those people would you feel comfortable shouting at if you really had to let them have it? Or would you just end up bottling everything up and never communicating?
This is why it’s so important to value your blunt, sweary friend when they come around and storm into your life. Other people might not be able to stick to the uncomfortable truths and difficult realities, but you should stick it out.
Long term, blunt friends are the ones who are most honest with their feelings and most transparent about wanting the best for you. A two-faced friend that fakes niceties for facebook tags and Instagram captions may not tell you when you’re making a mistake.
They might feel bitter about your success. Your relationship is likely a performance of social rituals and clubbing, one of you is probably using the other, or even mutually.
But either way, you aren’t emotionally connected.
You can’t trust each other the way you can with your blunt friend, who really cares about you. How do you know? Well, they don’t exactly hide their feelings, so you’re pretty sure you’re safe by this point.
They’re also super loyal once you break down their barriers. They aren’t seeing themselves in competition with you or trying to find ways to beat you out in something.
Some friends you meet and talk to but sense that there’s something they’re not saying a lot of the time. Or that they don’t actually mean what they do say. Maybe, they’re a bit of a doormat. A yes man.
Like those girlfriends who merge into the female version of their partner because they don’t have interests of their own. You perform what the world around you thinks it wants.
We all have a little bit of that insecurity in us, yes. But you’re better with a blunt person than that wet leaf because at least the blunt person knows who they are. Who you are.
And therefore, what’s best for you is always clear.
They will act in your best interests and always cheer you on if you need it. They’ll also let you know on no uncertain terms that bangs are always a bad idea post-breakup, and that no, you definitely should not call Gareth back straight after the date.
I know you like him, but it’s just needy. Wait a day. These are the wise words of harsh wisdom that your blunt friend will supply you with. And they are much better for you to grow with than the ‘do what you want, hun’ passive-aggressive texts from your so-called friends who don’t really care.
Those people are just waiting in the wings ready to say ‘I told you so’ and pick up the pieces of your shattered heart after they watched you get it broken.
In short, once you get used to their lack of social media presence and baggage of past relationships, and you can censor out every third word, you’re ready for their life experience and wisdom.
They’ve put themselves out there and got burned and now have strong opinions to pass on and make sure you don’t make the same mistakes.
They’re not bitter, they’ve learned from their mistakes.
When you think about it, your bluntest friend knows you best, wants the best for you, and is actually, on the sly, the most wholesome of them all.
Just don’t tell them that if you want to be invited back to movie night!